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hitting himself?

(3 Posts)
nightowl Tue 14-Jun-05 01:43:50

have wondered now whether to post this or not. its worrying me really. ds has been hitting himself and biting himself. (he is nearly eight). he used to do it when he was about 4 and i havent seen it since, i thought he had grown out of it but the other day some children started on him again and this is what he did. they said awful things about him..that he was "mental" and should be in the "nuthouse". why does he do this? he doesnt do it normally, i think he was scared of these children (they were rougher than rough). i asked him why he did it and he said he didnt know. i dont think its normal behaviour. im racking my brains to try and work it out. the only conclusion i could come to was that he was angry with these kids but too scared to take it out on them so he took it out on himself. hes a very sensitive little chap and not really cut out for defending himself, we live in a bit of a rough area. he does have problems with motor skills and strange little ways, hes very scared of loud noises etc..could it be anything to do with his other problems? does anyone have any experience of this?

zebraZ Wed 15-Jun-05 20:33:30

I suspect you're right, he's acting out his anger & frustration by hurting himself... also he is acting out their words. They say mean things to him, so he does mean things to himself. I'm sorry if that doesn't make sense, but I suspect that kind of simpleton logic is at the root of a lot of self-harm behavior. "They are saying mean things to me so I will act out what they mean"...it's like, being part of the group. "If I want to be part of the group, and the group is being mean to me, then I will be mean to myself"

Anyway, that's my effort at pop-psychology. I honestly don't know what you do next. I'm guessing that you could talk to him about how the mean things that the other children say are both wrong (they shouldn't say those things) and incorrect (those things are not true!). Really emphasise that he is a good person, a person of value, regardless of the horrible things they said or did to him?

Can you tell I was bullied myself as a kid?

Now it will get bumped back up maybe other people will have better insights for you.

Mum2girls Wed 15-Jun-05 20:38:41

Bless him...don't know what to say to you for advice, just feel really sad for your poor DS. Kids are incredibly cruel sometimes.

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