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anyone else have a 3.8 year old DD with attitude?!

(5 Posts)
maybebaby23 Wed 21-Oct-09 21:16:24

My DD is generally well behaved and lovely, but when DF is off work at weekends she is awful with me! She has always been a daddy's girl which i love to see as i didn't have a close relationship with my own dad. I encourage them to do things together when he is off because he works such long hours during the week, it's nice for them to catch up iykwim.

So we all look forward to spending time together but DD seems to try and push me out! She talks over me constantly, if i open my mouth to say something DD will jump in and start talking very loudly to DF about something random, anything at all to distract him from listening to me! If she says something and we haven't heard, i ask her to repeat it and she screams at me that she was asking daddy not me. If DF tells her off for hitting me (which she only does when we are all together!) she will say "well its HER, SHE pushed me/poked me" She refers to me as "her" and "she"!

This morning we picked her up from nursery together (DF had a rare extra day off) and DD got into her carseat then started screaming at DF to "go quick before SHE gets in!" Then when we got home she shut the front door in my face! She has done this a few times.

Im gutted tbh. I know she doesn't mean it really and she is only little but it's still upsetting at the time. I wonder wether ive caused this because i love to see them messing around together and doing dad/daughter things...i feel i missed that as a child. Maybe ive put DF on a pedestal in her eyes so she thinks im less important?? Maybe im being silly. I don't know. DD is nothing like this during the week she is fab, she tells me all the time we are best friends The second DF gets home she plays up big time. She also won't do things he asks her to do and sets out to annoy him. Basically the whole time DF is off work is spent arguing and falling out

Anyone elses DD like this? I hope it's a phase! Thanks for reading

Nyx Wed 21-Oct-09 22:31:08

My DD is the same age and she is like this as well, except she's a mummy's girl so she acts like this towards DH. He takes it really well but it does hurt him, even though he knows it shouldn't. We have presented a united front - I see it as "being rude to Daddy" and I try not to tolerate it.

It's improving slowly...this morning as we were leaving the house, instead of saying "quick Mummy, lets go down in the lift and Daddy can go down the stairs by himself" (and getting a telling off), she said "Daddy, you can come in the lift with us" - as if conferring a great favour hmm

It's nothing you've done! She just, if she's anything like my DD, wants to be centre of attention. She is jealous if DH tries to speak to me or (God forbid) gives me a kiss or cuddle in front of her - cue meltdown. We're working on it, trying to include her in everything and trying to do lots of things together. She is like this even though she does actually have me to herself a lot.

I have no idea if we are dealing with this correctly, but we figure it's a phase and it does seem to be passing. Hopefully your DD will calm down with it soon too. You're right, it is nice that she loves her dad so much, and you know that she loves you too - I think it's quite common for girls and their dads to have this bond, isn't it? (Except mine!) Good luck smile

maybebaby23 Thu 22-Oct-09 10:10:41

Thanks so much for your post!! Great to know we are not the only ones with this problem (but sorry you are having it too!) Im glad to hear you seem to be coming through it now, gives me hope! We present a united front too, DF is always telling her to stop being rude with me. This is when she starts with the "SHE" and "HER" lol. DD also sometimes does what your DD did in the lift, she says she will let me get into the car or join in whatever they are doing, then expects great praise for it grin

She definately loves to be centre of attention, and i do worry sometimes how this will go when DD2 arrives in december. I hope she gets through this phase before then!

Weegle Thu 22-Oct-09 10:18:04

We have sort of similar - DS (3.5) has and does dote on DH. It's me who's the pushed out party, but during the week, like you everything is wonderful with DS. Our 'solution' is and always has been (he's been like this since 18m!!) is DH absolutely will not tolerate DS being rude or nasty to me. HE is the one to tell him off. He is the one to say "don't interrupt, mummy is talking, you can wait". He says "well if Mummy's not welcome I don't want to play". DH showers me in affection if DS is withdrawing it. It's worked really well - although DS would still choose to spend time just with DH at the weekend, it's now a much more equal footing. I don't take it personally - but I feel supported by DH and so we still get lovely family time despite DS' obvious preference grin. DH says it's crazy because on the few occasions I've been out of the picture for a while DS is all Mummy Mummy Mummy... so you can't win!

maybebaby23 Thu 22-Oct-09 10:41:16

Thats the same for us weegle, when i work in the evenings DD wants me and won't stop whinging for me! Im glad i posted this now, i shall feel much better next time DD "outs" me grin

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