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Toddler aggression - please help!

(3 Posts)
tigersmummy Mon 19-Oct-09 14:18:08

Hi all, hope you can help!

My DS is a loving little one but at times can display aggression - towards his family, other children and even toys. He grows through different behaviours but only for a couple of weeks - scraping other children's faces (at nursery, which is the only time he has displayed aggressive behaviour there, the other times he is really good), biting, hitting, pinching - the usual toddler things.

DS goes to nursery 2 full days a week and has always enjoyed it. I truly believe it does him, and other children, the world of good.

My issue is that DH's family completely believe that it is the influence of nursery that makes him do these things - even though he has only ever scraped another child's face a couple of times whilst there, he hasn't done anything else 'antisocial'. They are set against the idea of nursery for children of his age - he is almost 2 - and DH's mum told me today that nursery is where he has picked it up, because it is 'learned behaviour'. Even though my nephew also goes to nursery and doesn't bite/hit etc. I bit my mum when I was younger too but didn't go to nursery or playgroup, so where did I learn that behaviour from?

I believe its 'normal' toddler antics, they all go through it at some age and we have to be consistent in our reaction to it, ie telling him 'no hitting' etc but giving it no more attention than that. DH's nephew doesn't go to nursery and my concern is that when he does something wrong its classed as his character, but when DS does something wrong its because he goes to nursery!

The aggressive behaviour is upsetting and challenging anyway without the added family pressure!

Can anyone shed any light onto why he may be doing these things and how best to go about stopping it?

Thank you very much for listening to my rantings!

lljkk Mon 19-Oct-09 14:29:09

Your child sounds normal. He's pushy at times because he's almost 2, not because nursery taught him how to be a thug. hmm

Your family prejudices sound loopy. Er, insights... just keep trying to coax him to do better, try to prevent and minimise his aggression, etc. Smile sweetly at the family and pray they get their comeuppance (somehow).

samsysoo Fri 23-Oct-09 21:41:45

Crikey.put the family onto mumsnet and type in a search for toddler aggression or something and let them see how common a problem it is. My 23mth old is regularly hair pulling....scratching.pushing.you name it when we go to toddler groups. He doesn't go to any nursery so not sure where he learned it! Or is it because he has noticed he gets a reaction and likes the feeling and is learning to get what he wants..........social niceties are probably beyond this age of child!
My eldest did go to nursery and he did it too!

Know what.they both grew out of it as their devlopmental social skills grew!!!
Smile at the family comment...........It's all they know to say.bless em.

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