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DS's attention seeking behaviour and how to ignore

(8 Posts)
arewehuman Sun 18-Oct-09 21:12:16

DS1 is 5 and a bright and articulate little boy but he has always needed / demanded a lot of attention and DH and I are at the end of our tether.

In a nutshell our problem is is that if he is not being played with / entertained / watching telly he does whatever he can to get attention. for example he will run around the house shouting or screeching, niggle with DS2 (22 mth) be argumentative, whiney etc etc. He get told off for all of these things, sent to the stairs or upstairs but all that does is give me a and DH a break from the situation, DS1 carries on where he left off on his return. He makes it very diffucult to spend time wiht DS2 and trying to do somthing with them together is neigh on impossible. He constantly nags for someone to play with him even thought i will have just taken him out with his bike, he has helped me cook, we've played football etc.

I know we are to blame but he is a clever little chap and he chip chip chips away until we all explode and i hate doing that, i hate shouting at him but we have reached a point where we just don't know what to do to start sorting things out.

DH and I were talking earlier and i said that DS1 is not a naughty boy, he is just a bloody pain sad

Please, someone of is not emotionally involved - point us in the right direction.

MyCatsAScarierBastardThanYours Sun 18-Oct-09 21:15:13

I would say you really have to ignore, totally, the behaviour that you don't want. If he's not getting attention for it then he wont bother with it. Easier said than done of course.

arewehuman Sun 18-Oct-09 21:17:16

I know but that would meam ignoring him for 80% of the day and going deaf with all the noise and hperactivity that would go on.

MyCatsAScarierBastardThanYours Sun 18-Oct-09 21:23:36

It might mean 80% of the first day, but if he's a bright lad, which he sounds, then he'd cotton on pretty quickly. Only talk or interact with the good behaviour. THe ones that you want to see more of.

arewehuman Tue 20-Oct-09 14:30:25

bumping - please don't tell me i am the only one stuggling with this kind of behviour.

I am trying to ignore the behaviour i can but find this diffucult when he is niggling DS2 by trying to trip him up or poking him etc....i know this is attenion seeking because he adores DS2 so should i ignore unless there are tear?

I feel i have lost my way sad

MyCatsAScarierBastardThanYours Tue 20-Oct-09 23:00:15

bumping for you too smile

colditz Tue 20-Oct-09 23:04:59

pICK DS2 UP AND CARRY HIM OFF CHATTING TO HIM. iGNORE DS1 TOTALLY FOR THIS, BECAUSE BEING MEAN TO HIS BROTHER ISN'T NICE.

yOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO FIND SEVERAL DESIRABLE BEHAVIORS EVERY DAY TO PRAISE, BECAUSE IF HE IS DOING A LOT OF NAUGHTY THINGS, YOU WILL END UP IGNORING HIM A GREAT DEAL.

loler Tue 20-Oct-09 23:38:05

You've taken my ds2 home by mistake!

I'm currently reading a fantastic book - by charlie taylor. His techniques seem to be having results so far. He points out what not to do and it all makes so much sense.

I'm thinking about taking out shares in this book as have also lent to a few friends who have got their own copy now.

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