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Oversensitive DS - is 2 too early to toughen up?

(4 Posts)
wolfear Fri 16-Oct-09 14:58:26

My DS (2.3) seems to have become so over sensitive. He's always been pretty laid back when it come to other children's actions towards him, i.e. - he let's them take toys away, will get off slides/ride ons etc if he sees them trying to have a turn before him etc.

Lately, everytime we go to somewhere like playgroup or friend's hoouses to play, he ends up in tears because he's had a toy taken off him or he's been pushed or hit. He never ever retaliates. I've started saying that's it's okay to push back or take things back but he doesn't seem to like the idea at all.

My DH thinks I'm worrying about nothing, that DS will toughen up as he gets older and at least he isn't the one going and hitting and snatching. But we all know it's hard watching your child upset and everytime it happens know he bursts into tears and says he wants to go home.

BTW, he has no problem standing his ground at home with DH and I.

Has anyone had similar experience and is it something he'll grow out of or can I do something to help him toughen up a bit?

vickstar76 Fri 16-Oct-09 22:16:37

i read a good book called how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk - it helps with problem solving so your son can discuss how he is feeling and come up with his own solution. what do the mum's do when he is pushed / hit? I don't think is good to encourage retailiation myself 2 wrongs don't make a right etc he is the bigger man for not resorting to these agressive actions and probably to your credit he's copying what you have shown to be acceptable.

maybe finding another group - diff friends will help

starmucks Fri 16-Oct-09 22:25:11

My DS1 is 2.8 and was also very sensitive. Until about four/five months ago we couldn't even tell him off without his lower lip going. We put it down to him being at home rather than in a nursery setting and not having much exposure to other kids. He has however made real progress in the past few months, not though through anything we have done. He's gone from running away from other kids, to telling them to shoo away - not a great way to make friends granted - and now he's not really being bothered by them anymore. It's a just a question of confidence and that can take a little time.

lavenderkate Fri 16-Oct-09 22:38:48

Wolfear, he is still very tiny.
If he feels happier just playing at your feet and not venturing far thats fine.
He will slowly build his confidence just knowing youre there to back him up for now. Plenty of time for him to toughen up yet.
My Ds was like this, always very sensitive, didnt leave my side much. If another child at playgroup so much as looked at him he would turn on his heels and run back to me tearfully.
18months on, he is a caring, thoughtful little boy who is very popular with his peers particularly because he has empathy , offers to share and never ever hits them. His teachers adore him for it too.

It would be so much worse if he were the bully.

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