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how do you handle the screaming at 2 1/2 yrs old?

(13 Posts)
hermykne Sun 12-Jun-05 10:48:49

dd is 2 + 8mths now and isnt at the stage where she realises there is a consequence to her screaming. usually because she wont get undreseed or dressed.
its so frustrating and wearning.

what do others do?
she does get put in her room and then there was no telly for her fav prog.

but 20mins later she making me pretend tea from her kitchen?

colditz Sun 12-Jun-05 11:06:20

Place screaming child in safe place.

Walk off singing a happy tune.

When screaming subsides, jolly child into next activity.

An episode of screaming doesn't emotionally devastate a 2 year old like it would an adult, and they don't even have to be particularly upset to do it.

Lonelymum Sun 12-Jun-05 11:12:58

Yes ignore it. If you get involved, you invariably end up screaming yourself (well I do!) If you can catch the screamer before the screaming gets into full swing, you can try distraction, but I find that as wearing as listening to the screaming sometimes.

ScummyMummy Sun 12-Jun-05 11:13:58

Agree with colditz and LM. Ignoring is hard to do but will work.

Mud Sun 12-Jun-05 11:15:04

immediate isolation / ignoring using a withdrawal of privilege method like no favourite tv programme is a step too far in the comprehension IMO unless immediately following her tantrum the tv is pointedly switched off and she is removed from room for 2.5 minutes

basketcase Sun 12-Jun-05 11:23:07

Totally agree with Colditz - remove her from the immediate location to somewhere safe and quiet, wlak away and try to avoid letting it affect you emotionally (hard I know).
If this works in terms of getting her to calm down, great. However, if she is still doing this frequently and no sign of behaviour change, I don’t think she is too young to set her targets and talk about longer term things - such as a basic version of a star chart with a star for each day she isn’t sent to her room and a small incentive for reaching an agreed target of stars. It can be a gentle way to teach positive consequences alongside the negative consequences of "do this and something unpleasant will happen" - nice to have the added "and do this instead and something nice will happen..."

hermykne Sun 12-Jun-05 12:05:14

thanks all,
its soo hard not to stop shouting back - of course it doesnt work

might try the star chart thing in a simple form, might have benifits down the road as u say
basketcase

i think having the next activity is very important colditiz, it focuses their attention, and today i didnt do that and it went chaotic

SofiaAmes Sun 12-Jun-05 21:41:32

My dd (2.5) does a crying screeching thing that sounds a little like a peacock being beheaded. I put her on the naughty stair and tell her calmly that when she's done, she can come and say sorry and finish dinner/continue playing/get dressed/etc. I always close the door so that there is no visual contact between us (and of course reduced noise level for me). I have found this to be extremely effective. She rarely cries for more than a few minutes and almost always comes in smiling and apologizing without any further prompting. Unless she has actually done something naughty like hit her brother I don't do any other punishing or chastizing besides the isolating and calm request to come and let me know when she's finished.
By the way, I use completely different techniques with my ds (4.5) as this doesn't really work with him.

QueenEagle Sun 12-Jun-05 22:29:37

I can really sympathise with anyone going through this at the minute. ds3 is driving me and dh to distraction with his screeching. It's often a reaction to the older kids teasing him, but it can also be a response to a simple question or request. ds3 does not speak yet (he is 2.5) although he understands everything. We use both the ignoring technique and the putting him away from the centre of whatever activity is going on at the time.

It's very tiring and emotionally draining; someone please tell me that it does get better!

SofiaAmes Sun 12-Jun-05 23:10:05

Ironically my dd has been speaking in full sentences since 12 months, but it doesn't seem to stop her from screeching in between telling me that it's ok for her to watch tv as she promises she won't rot her brain while doing it. Help! God knows what she will be like at 16. My mother says I was just as bad and this is her revenge.

Fran1 Sun 12-Jun-05 23:36:21

I put my hand in front of my dd and say i will not listen until you speak nicely. Used to have to then walk away, let her scream it out, then i'd come back to her and get her to ask nicely for whatever it was she was screaming about.

After doing this for a few weeks, she's learnt and i hear her starting the wind up to a scream or winge and then she corrects herself and goes "mummy please can i ..." I make a point of praising her for saying it nicely and now have a much quieter life!

QueenEagle Sun 12-Jun-05 23:38:03

I am making the excuse for ds3 that it is because he cannot articulate what he wants. Should I do this or treat it the same as if he could speak?

Fran1 Sun 12-Jun-05 23:50:07

Depends upon the reason for language delay QE.

If you feel he is capable of saying at least one or two words to express what he's trying to say, i'd be tempted to try what i do as it may help to develop his language in the long run.

Really thats my reason for doing it with dd even though she doesn't have any actual delay, i just think its important for her to learnt the "appropriate" words to say at certain times, as opposed to being punished without any sort of learning being gained iykwim.

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