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Nearly 18 month old has begaun to bite and hit me and DH

(5 Posts)
sunmonkey Thu 15-Oct-09 22:14:36

My DS is nearly 18 months old and has, this past week, began hitting and biting me and DH. We say 'no' firmly, but he does it again, smiles and thinks its funny. I get the sense that he just sees it as affectionate (the biting) but not the hitting as he tends to do it to get a reaction I think.
I really don't want him to do it to other children especially so i really need him to learn this is unacceptable. I'm feeling really ill right now with a flu bug and v low on energy and yesterday, he took my finger and bit it so hard it hurt and I began to cry. I put him down and said 'no must not hit or bite!' He was concerned and came up and kissed me. I did feel a bit bad then as I don't like him to see me vulnerable because I don't think its fair on a child, but I couldn't help it. I did say 'Mummys upset because you hurt her' hoping he might not do it again. He spends all his time with me and I have no family around me for relief. My husband works away in the week, so it can get a bit draining.
I have wonderful support from neighbors who live in my street who also have young children, but I felt like I didn't want to burden anyone. (might have PMS too I think)
Anyway, he's a lovely, happy child who is an absolute sweetheart most of the time, but how do I get him to stop biting/hitting?
I don't want to use the guilt trip thing at all and I don;t want to hit/bite him back. There must be some sensible answers out there. He can't walk yet, so maybe a time out idea?

NumptyMum Thu 15-Oct-09 22:42:46

You may find it comes and goes. Our DS is nearly 26mo and will still chomp me and DH, generally when he's over-excited or tired. Luckily his biting now seems confined to parents - he did bite 2 children at nursery when much younger due to frustration. Our nursery gave a talk on behaviour a few weeks ago and they told a funny story about a three year old who had bitten another child - when asked why he did it, he said 'my teeth just jumped out of my mouth and did it'. Kids are very impulsive and even up to the age of 4 may not 'get it'. The best thing you can do is watch for what triggers it (eg over-excited when playing, or tired) and help him avoid biting before he does it, or if he does bite, repeat 'no biting'. He's too young just now to get the link between cause and effect, so if you cry he may not realise why. My nursery told another story of one kid hitting the other (by accident) with a toy: the hit child burst out crying because they were hurt, and the hitter then cried because their friend was upset! Just remember, it's a stage that a LOT of kids go through; anyone whose kids don't do this is very fortunate - and less bruised grin.

We're working on 'no throwing' just now...

Drooper Thu 15-Oct-09 22:46:09

Poor you, it's horrible having flu and being so run down. You sound knackered!

DS sounds as if he's going through his vampire phase. He's just biting because it feels good to him and gets a bit of a response. It's new but he will move on to something else.

He's too young for time out, so just stay calm and say 'no biting' and put him down and walk away.He will soon realise that biting leads to no fuss or attention.

No point trying to gulit him- he won't understand. Be very kind to yourself though, you are only human and these things can get you down.

I found 'Toddler Taming' by Christopher Green really good for this stuff. Good Luck!

sunmonkey Thu 15-Oct-09 23:00:55

Thanks guys, feels better to just 'share' the story and its nice to get some support, makes me realise I should use this site more often. 'Numptymum' I love that story about the 4 year old - made me laugh. I agree its prob best to just put him down/distract. luckily he hasn't done it to anyone else yet...
'Drooper' will look into the book, thanks. So far have the Mums net book and was meaning to look into the behavior section in that, but prob need something more specific. I can so much better when not sick : (

sunmonkey Thu 15-Oct-09 23:01:41

Meant to say, can cope so much better!

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