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(6 Posts)
Bensmum76 Thu 15-Oct-09 11:56:22

Hi all
My DS is almost two and I think he may be developing a shyness. When we go to classes he is fine until we all go into a group and sing. Today he cried and clung to me, almost with embarrassment. I tried to tell him that everyone was singing and having fun and that they weren't watching him but this didn't do anything. From this moment on he was miserable and we ended up leaving early. I don't want him to be known as the miserable or shy child (as I was when I was a child)because at home and at nursery (I think) he loves singing and dancing and always joins in. I am concerned as I was painfully shy as a child and into my adult life and sometimes now can feel uncomfortable in social situations. I could cry when I think my son may suffer like this and am stuck between making him join in or leaving him to do as he wishes. Can anyone help??

Tombliboobs Thu 15-Oct-09 12:12:32

No, don't worry. It is completely normal phase that most children go through. The main thing is to respond to how he is feeling, not to make a big deal out of it, just be there and carry on.

I wouldn't stop going, just sit quietly with him while he watches the singing part of the session, without commenting on him not joining in. He will join in, in his own time.

Sometimes they grow in confidence just by watching and some children need to step back and watch for quite a long time before joining in themselves.

Tombliboobs Thu 15-Oct-09 12:13:39

Also, should have said, don't worry about what the other people think, most will have experienced it themselves or will do at some point.

Bensmum76 Thu 15-Oct-09 12:56:48

Thanx thats great advice

Vintagepommery Thu 15-Oct-09 13:34:15

My dd was like this at 2 as well - we went to a music class and she hated it. I think it was the whole sitting in a circle thing and the feeling that everyone was looking at her. I remember phoning the silly cow lady who ran it to say we weren't coming again and her saying 'no, your dd didn't seem lively enough for my class '

I wouldn't make him join in - he's v young . DD is now 6 and NOT shy at all

deaconblue Thu 15-Oct-09 13:34:51

Ds was exactly the same at a group except he used to kick off when they started the singing bit. He's 3 1/2 and has recently started joining in things willingly and enjoying that sort of activity. While it worried me, and was emabarrassing at the time, I now think was just a phase

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