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Dd2, in Year 1 has started misbehaving at school - do you think this is a good way to address it?

(8 Posts)
electra Thu 15-Oct-09 10:20:14

Dd2 is 5 and in Year 1. She is in a small class of 11 children. At her parents evening this week her teacher told me that for the last 2 weeks she has been very non-compliant and has even staged mini-protests when she is asked to do something, on one occasion going into a sulk and sitting under the table shock Last year she didn't do anything like this.

Her teacher and I have come up with a plan where she has a chart. If she is good at school (and only if her teacher thinks she can have one), she gets a sticker for that day, and when she has 15 she can have a watch (she really wants a watch and has been asking me for one for some time).

Do you think this is a good idea?

I can think of quite a few reasons why dd might be misbehaving. She has a lot to cope with really - an older sister with ASD, I had a baby in April and she has lost 5 friends from reception who have moved to other schools. I also have bipolar disorder and have had to spend a month in hospital this year after dd3 was born. However, in spite of all these things I feel that there must be some way to raise her so that she doesn't turn into a delinquent!!

Does anyone have any advice - do you think the chart is a good idea? And how can I make her feel more secure in spite of everything?

ramonaquimby Thu 15-Oct-09 10:28:00

a chart is a great idea, but I'd build in rewards sooner than 15 days - something at the end of each day, or every 2 or 3 days leading up to a bigger reward like the watch, 15 days is a long time when you're 5

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern Thu 15-Oct-09 10:38:04

I agree with Ramonaquimby (god that name is a blast from my childhood grin)
I have done a chart with dd when she was shall we say challenging wink she hadgone through a lot of changes as well.

It does work much better if there is an almost instant type reward, yes fair anough building up to the 15 stickers and getting a watch but she is 5 and it will seem so far off after a day or 2 that she won't really get it.
What I did with dd was that she had so many tasks/ways to behave in a day and if she got 3 stickers on the first days she got a comic.
I knew the 3 stickers was easy for her to achieve and that she would get them fisrt day. This showed her there was merit in working towards her stickers as she had an almost instant treat and the stickers had a sccumulative effect in that the big treat came at the end so in your dd's case it would be the 15 stickers for a watch.

motherofthetoothlesswonder Thu 15-Oct-09 10:42:30

i have worked as a teaching assistant in year one and if we had a child of five who was having a problem with behaviour we would taking a very positive approach and looking for things to praise. i would even go so far as to reward them with a dmall sticker for every 15 MINUTES of good behaviour. then as things improve you can stretch it out a bit.

she needs to be approved of-catch her being good as often as you can and say things like 'i love the way you are being so helpful' or 'how polite! thank you' etc etc

it really does work.

but a reward after 2 weeks is too distant for a five year old.

GoppingOtter Thu 15-Oct-09 10:46:32

electra - we have had some bad behaviour from ds who is 6 and year two. I have opted for a trip to a sweet shop on friday evening if the whole week has been good

he does not get sweets so this helps (!) but i do think a week is long enough for the child to still be able to focus on the prize

without 'eyes on the prize' they will lose the impetus....

maybe the watch could be a long term goal with something small in reward terms for short term good behaviours

ramonaquimby Thu 15-Oct-09 11:11:14

i don't think this behaviour warrants 15 min checks tho, I think every morning, and again every afternoon would be sufficient. we use 15 min checks on our EBD students! is usually every lesson (1 hour) or am/pm

you can do your own charts as well - google behaviour charts and there will be several sites that come up, you can modify the charts

motherofthetoothlesswonder Thu 15-Oct-09 11:51:03

it may be used with ebd children who are older but with very young children it also works really well!

i'm only saying what has worked well for me-it's up to the op whether she takes that on board.
but certainly 3 weeks is far too long

electra Thu 15-Oct-09 11:59:31

Thanks so much for your replies. I did wonder about the length of time! That is a great idea - I will get her comics at intervals as she loves them and perhaps that will help.

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