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2yo really testing limits and screaming all the time

(10 Posts)
IMoveTheStarsForNoOne Wed 14-Oct-09 16:49:15

DS is generally a happy child, he plays well by himself, he's (finally) a good sleeper, and usually a total joy to have around.

He's very recently started screaming every time we do something he doesn't want to. Every nappy change. Every time I put him in the high-chair, every time I turn off TV etc.

We were at the playground today - it has a wooden tractor that kids can climb in and pretend to drive, I had to drag him kicking and screaming away from the place, all the time screaming '^tractor, TRACTOR, TRACTOR!!!'

It's just happening ALL the time now, and I have no idea how to deal with it.

HELP!!

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne Wed 14-Oct-09 17:09:06

anyone?

3littlefrogs Wed 14-Oct-09 17:14:45

It is normal for a 2 year old to do this. You have to try and remain calm and jolly along, rather than getting into a fight.

Try letting him know exactly what is coming next - "you can have a play on the tractor, then we are going to do XYZ" for example. Get down to his level, make eye contact and tell him what is going to happen. Little children do like to know what is coming next, so communication is vital at all times. Otherwise, it is the apparant randomness of your actions that causes the upset.

Also - ignore and distract is a good tactic.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne Wed 14-Oct-09 17:20:13

I know it's normal behaviou (sob, btw), it's like he's hit the terrible two's overnight and it's a bit of a shock.

I did the count down thing - 'in 5 mins we're going to the shop', 'in 2 mins', all the time making sure he was listening.

He's bloody persistant though, I carried him away from the playground and didn't back down but he was screaming bloody murder.

It's totally normal, isn't it.

Suppose I just need to ignore the old biddys scowling at me grin

3littlefrogs Wed 14-Oct-09 17:22:47

You just have to stick with it I'm afraid. It does pass. Of course he won't know how long a minute is - it is difficult.

skinsl Wed 14-Oct-09 18:05:14

If anyone scowls say " yes, can i help you?!"
don't worry about anyone else looking, I'm sure their children have done just the same.they have just forgotten.
Sometimes I do think people are looking over in sympathy though.
It is normal, I know it doesn't feel like that, you feel like you should have been able to do something to calm them down, but if there is a secret to it, then someone tell me!!!
My DS (nearly 2) had a tantrum the other day trying to get out of a chair in a cafe, and he got his head stuck, it was a nightmare!! I was trying to calm him down so i could get him out!
I am hoping it will pass soon, but there are a couple of things I have done, which make it a bit better.
Try not to let it upset you, you are not doing anything wrong. x

skinsl Wed 14-Oct-09 18:11:43

Very simplified
If its something to do with clothes,or socks/shoes we say something like, "daddy's got his socks/shoes on" and he will look and think ok.

Food- i try and give him a choice, say offer 2 pkts of cereal and then he feels like he is eating what he wants

Coming out of the house is a good one, I just say "well mummy is going now, bye", and walk down the path. He has actually closed the door on me before in his temper.

and if he kicks off in public, we make it a bit jokey and say " right, over the shoulder" and hold him like a firemans lift. It normally stops them screaming if nothing else!!

hope some of this helps.
I will be back on, asking for help at some future point I am sure!!

Chaotica Wed 14-Oct-09 18:56:30

Try "toddler taming' by Christopher Green (at the least it has some good stats about how normal it is).

I feel your pain (have a 2 year old screamer but he is my second) (second screamer, as it happens grin)

TBH He might be a bit young for the counting etc (or even consequences). I got some good tips from my CM: let him do things (switch off tv, get into chair (if he can) etc), line up at the door to go out (even if it's only him and some bags), try to get into his chair/carseat/coat etc Nappy change teddy and anything else to hand (he'll soon want a turn).

HTH

slowreadingprogress Wed 14-Oct-09 19:21:21

I agree with reading Toddler Taming, it's brilliant at reminding us how incredibly normal this is and also to take things with a lot of humour - humour is one thing missing in almost every other parenting advice I've seen!

Agree with Chaotica about finding strategies to jolly him along a bit rather than just counting down to stuff. At this stage I found dealing with ds was much, much easier and more fun for everyone if I got creative and thought up challenges or scenarios when we were changing/stopping activity, going out or whatever. Agree that seeming to give them control is a really useful strategy. 'Shall I turn the telly off or can you do it?' might even work, you never know. Racing them to sit in the car is also worth a try, that sort of thing

I think my main strategy was find ways round things if you possibly can, then when it's unavoidable and you DO need to meet stuff head on, you have the strength to deal with the hysteria because you haven't had it twenty times already that day!

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne Wed 14-Oct-09 21:25:10

Thanks all... I'll get used to it, just a big shock really!

I've ordered Toddler Taming, thank you for the suggestion.

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