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How old do you reckon the earliest age should be for DS to have a sleepover at in laws house?

(16 Posts)
ilikeyoursleeves Sun 11-Oct-09 21:30:33

DS1 is 2 years old in 2 weeks time. He has had a few sleepovers at my SIL's house, first one 3 months ago when I was having DS2, then another overnight a few weeks ago, both which went fine and he came back his normal self.

He stayed there again last night but when he was dropped off home today he was really tired and just clung to me. When I tried to put him down for a nap he would just say 'nooooo' and would cuddle me even harder. He eventually went for a nap after I sat with him for a while (I never normally need to do this), then when he woke up 3 hours later he basically cried and clung to me until bedtime. He sat on my knee for his dinner then sat with his head buried in my shoulder crying and whimpering until bed. DH read him stories and sat with him in the dark until he fell asleep (he usually just gets himself to sleep). Although he is an affectionate wee boy who loves cuddles, he is never as clingy as this!

I'm now thinking 2 years old might be too young for a sleepover? Although SIL always says he loves it when he is there and he loves hanging out with his big cousin there. He knows them well too so it's not like they are strangers or anything. They have asked him to sleepover again in 2 weeks time but I'm now not so sure?

What age were your DC's when they had sleepovers?

Danthe4th Sun 11-Oct-09 21:54:35

Why does he go for sleepovers, why not just get a babysitter if you want to go out.

FuckwitsAllofthem Sun 11-Oct-09 22:01:45

Maybe its all just a bit too exciting when he gets to his Aunt's house?

If I were you I'd leave the sleepovers until your ds asks to go, I wouldn't let my 2.9 yr old do it although tbf he is going through a really clingy stage anyway.

Good luck.

bigchris Sun 11-Oct-09 22:05:50

my ds started staying with my inlaws at age two for four nights once a year
but every child copes differently

GoldenSnitch Sun 11-Oct-09 22:06:03

DS went for his first sleepover at PIL's when he was about 5 months old (taking with him plenty of bottles of expressed milk) because we'd been invited to a very close friends wedding.

Since then he's been 3 or 4 times a year and we've never had any problems - he is now 2.7.

Sometimes he goes and sleeps over, sometimes he goes for a day, sometimes for an hour or two. And of course, he visits with us too.

It's still always hard for me to leave him but he has such a good time and loves his grandparents so much, I often feel guilty that I don't let him go more often - he was begging to go and visit them today!!

PIL's are great though. DS is thier 6th Grandchild and they have everything they could need - cot, changing mats, high chair etc and they certainly know what they're doing. His first christmas present was a "sleepover suitcase" cause they were so looking forward to having him!

Maybe the clingy thing is just a phase? My DS has discovered Ghosts and Monsters in the past couple of weeks and sometimes wakes needing a cuddle cause he's worried. He hasn't been for a sleepover in a while so it can't be that. Or maybe something happened at you SIL's? Could something have happened while he was there that's worried him? A cousin having a nightmare maybe? Might be worth talking to your SIL

ilikeyoursleeves Sun 11-Oct-09 22:08:14

He goes for sleepovers as he loves his auntie and big cousin and sil is trying to help us get a bit of a rest from the chaos of toddler plus newborn. But I also wonder if it's partly to do with sil enjoying having another baby in the house again as she can't have any more children. And we aren't going out when he is away, I wish!

aWitchForLifeNotJustHalloween Sun 11-Oct-09 22:09:06

mine have all gone to stay at grandparents' house from about 18mo, but they are all [very] local to us. They love it, it's a great treat, and now one of them goes most friday nights, it's good for them to have time out on their own, as there are three of them.

LissyGlitter Sun 11-Oct-09 22:10:39

My DD was sleeping over at my mums from about two months, pretty much weekly. It just seems unfair on the babysitter if they have to come and wait up for you in your house. I used to work some evenings, and sometimes they would clash with DPs evening shifts, and of course we wanted to go out sometimes as well. And sometimes she would just go so that we got a break and my parents got to spend time with her. Now we live nearer the ILs, the same happens with them, eg we have a weekly antenatal class that ends at around her bedtime (and obviously we have to have time to get home after that) so she just sleeps there. She has toys and her own bed at both sets of grandparents houses, and loves it to bits staying there. IMO if you don't let your dc stay out of the house regularly you are asking for trouble, eg last year I was ill and had a few unexpected stays in hospital, but DD didn't even know, she just thought she was staying at Grannys as normal, and a few weeks back BIL died, so my mum came across the country and took DD to hers for a week (she is 2.5)

Could your DS maybe have been ill, and that is why is was clingy?

ilikeyoursleeves Sun 11-Oct-09 22:12:19

goldensnitch, she said he was fine other than waking up during the night crying and that is a rarity here. They took him into their bed (sil & her dh) so maybe that freaked him out a bit? i told him in advance he was going for a sleepover but i don't really know how much he understands. ds2 on boob hence all lower case!

drinkyourmilk Sun 11-Oct-09 22:12:22

Maybe he's coming down with something, and it's not actually a problem connected with the sleepover?

ilikeyoursleeves Sun 11-Oct-09 22:16:18

he has a bit of a runny nose but that might be because of the crying, he seems to be well otherwise but will see how he is in the morning.

GoldenSnitch Sun 11-Oct-09 22:21:42

Maybe our DS's have both discovered monsters then

I was worried that my DS's monsters were his worries about his forthcoming sister (I'm 29 weeks pregnant) but the more I talk to my friends with kids, the more I think it's just a 2 year old thing. A phase or as drinkyourmilk says, he could be feeling poorly.

Maybe try talking to him tomorrow. Ask him if he had fun at SIL's. The bed thing may very well have freaked him out. Just ask him before he goes over for another sleepover, he's old enough to say that he doesn't want to go if he's worried. He'll soon let you know.

ilikeyoursleeves Tue 13-Oct-09 12:06:41

Well yesterday DS had turned into the clingiest baby in history! He woke up crying at 630am (v early for him) and we took him into our bed and he cried for ages and clinged to me, wailing if I left the room. We then went out for the day but he wouldn't walk and wanted me to carry him (he never normally does this) and then at dinner time he wanted to sit on my lap and wrapped himself round my neck. I sat with him at bedtime then this morn he woke up crying again so came to our bed and we managed to sleep for another hour or so.

He is at nursery just now and was fine going there so hopefully he's over the overnight trauma now! He doesn't seem ill or anything so don't think that was the reason for the clingyness. He is going to his other aunties for a few hours tomo so I wonder how that will go.

Knickers0nMaHead Tue 13-Oct-09 12:11:51

DD has been sleeping at the pil's since she was 6 months. She goes most Sundays.

pippel Tue 13-Oct-09 12:54:17

dd1 sleeps at my dms every Friday and has done since she was 18 months

did the baby go or was the baby with you?

ChilloHippi Tue 13-Oct-09 13:09:34

My son is just three and he hasn't slept at someone else's house without us. I think he's too young yet and it wouldn't feel right for him not to be with us.

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