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DS nearly 4 and still having 'accidents' most days

(3 Posts)
ZeeMum Fri 09-Oct-09 20:50:41

Could do with some advice/reassurance please.
DS was toilet trained shortly after 2nd birthday and since then has had regular accidents in his pants daily. Granted he has gotten better in the last 6 months but is still 'forgetting' to go to the loo most days. Sometimes it is just a dribble, but on his last two days at nursery he has had a proper wee in his pants/trousers because 'he was too busy building' (his quote).

He is not dry at night (wears night pull ups) and nappy is full in the morning despite cutting back on late drinks and having him wee first thing.

I am trying to be positive and reassuring giving him stars for 'dry' days etc, but feel frustrated that I can't do/help more. All of my friends have boys who are dry during day and night so I feel completely on my own and wondering if this is normal or if there might be an underlying issue.

Does anyone else have this problem???(hmm)

Katisha Fri 09-Oct-09 20:52:59

If it's any consolation I had to have another chat today with DS(7) about remembering to go to the loo at playtimes even if he doesnt feel like it, rather than having accidents during lessons...

amberflower Fri 09-Oct-09 22:01:34

I wouldn't worry about his not being dry at night at all, to be honest, as many children - especially boys - are still wetting nappies at night at this age. My own DS has only been consistently dry at night since his 5th birthday. I think age 7 is when the HV might refer you for concerns about nighttime bedwetting.

As for the daytime stuff - well at this age the occasional accident is normal (and inevitable!) particularly if happening when absorbed in play. But if accidents are literally occurring on a daily basis then it sounds to me as if it's become a bit of a habit.

It might be worth taking him to the doctor and just having a general checkup just to rule out any underlying infections etc that might be affecting him - unlikely, I know, as if he had any kind of urine infection he'd probably be uncomfortable and you'd know about it - but worth doing for peace of mind.

If all is OK health wise, I would be tempted to try a more detailed star chart or similar - i.e. a sticker for every successful toilet visit rather than one for the whole day, for example, and perhaps replacing a sticker with a sad face if he has an accident. Offering an incentive can work well too - i.e. if all stickers and no sad faces that day he can have a small treat after tea, or time for a favourite activity, etc etc - that kind of thing often works well!

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