Pregnant, tired and hormonal, nearly 3 year old playing up badly - I NEED HELP!(3 Posts)
Can I start off by saying I am very fragile so please be gentle with me, thanks.
I am 7 months pregnant, very tired, still working in the afternoons and don't get any time to myself at all. My DS is a beautiful boy, really funny and bright, with the language skills of a 4 year old I think, but is 3 in 2 months time so is still a baby really.
My DH has just gone back to work after 6 months without a job, so that coupled with the baby arriving in 2 months is the catalyst in this I suppose.
90% of the time DS is great and we have fun, and he is a sensitive, fun-loving, intelligent boy, who loves books, cars, can play on his own for a few minutes at a time, and is perfectly reasonable.
But then something will set him off, such as me asking him to put his shoes on or come upstairs to get dressed, and he turns into a total nightmare, screaming, shouting, hitting me (round the head and stomach), running around the house like a nutter etc etc.
We have been using a naughty box to put his favourite toys in if he is naughty, which has worked but doesn't have much effect now, and if we try the naughty step he quite likes that. My mum thinks cajoling him and making him laugh is the way to go but I disagree as I think its rewarding him for bad behaviour, but I am running out of ideas. The trouble is I am so tired and these battles are just starting to rule my life now which is stupid. I keep telling myself he is just a little baby really, and after it's all blown over he's back to himself and beautiful and I feel awful because I have shouted at him a lot especially this last week. Shouting at him upsets us both but I can't seem to stop myself.
Please help with any advice or tricks that have worked for you, but like I said please be delicate with me x Any similar stories would be gratefully appreciated too, thanks.
ignore distract and divert
if he won't put his shoes on , well that's fine, he'll get cold/wet feet but hey
getting dressed, you can try making it into a race, or let him pick his outfit, or use a counting technique to get him dressed ( one two three then jam him into his clothes, that kind of thing)
if he's screaming at you, walk away (obv if you are out then move straight to ignore)
catch him being good, loads of praise. some days you will have to look VERY hard to catch him being good.
I found that a 5 minute then a 2 minute countdown helped mine to understand that one activity is ending (say a visit to the park) or a new one is starting (say time to get ready to go out)
this age can be v draining
remember this is a phase, repeat to your self 'this too shall end'
Thanks - I do try chanting a little mantra of 'it's a phase, it's a phase" so I will add in your "this too shall end" as well!
I think I'm doing these things, it sounds like what I am doing anyway and on a normal day it all works. I guess it's just seeming a lot worse because I am so drained and feel like my plug has been pulled out - could happily sleep for the next 2 weeks I think
I will keep trying to be positive and I am sure he will come through it soon.
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