What do you do when the naughty step doesn't work?!!!

[jabberwocky]

Ds has recently started spitting. We talk about it. I ask/tell him not to and give him a warning. We go to the naughty stool, sit, apologize, hug, the whole routine and then he does it again within minutes!!! I am pulling my hair out. At breakfast he was spitting his food out everywhere and I got so mad I couldn't think straight.

He is 22 months old btw.

Help!

[jodee]

He might be a tad young for a 'naughty' step, maybe? Best ploy at that age is ignoring it, he is definitely pushing the right buttons to irritate you (and boy, does that irritate!!).

[purpleturtle]

Ignore. Tell yourself it's just a phase. It's not a major problem. Don't let him think it's a big deal.

[jabberwocky]

That's what dh says - that ds gets more of a reaction from me than he gets from dh or nanny so does it more around me. Aughhh!!!

[Gwenick]

I'd say that almost certainly the spitting is a 'stage' thing - ignore him and he'll probably get bored pretty soon.

I think the age that 'naughty step' works can vary depending on child.

DS2 is 18 months old and now all I have to do is tell him off, say "that was naughty" and he'll often take HIMSELF off to the naughty step !!!

[chicagomum]

good question - my dd 3.5yrs takes herself to the naughty step, so its lost all its impact either that or needs the toilet as soon as she's sent (prob doesn't but if i take a chance frob end up with a wet step!) so i'm watching this one closely

[jabberwocky]

But how do you ignore when he spits food everywhere? Just take him out of the chair? And the problem with that is that we have had a really, really terrible time with his eating anyway. This is a child who refused to eat anything but babyfood until a month ago!!!

[Gwenick]

takes herself to the naughty step, so its lost all its impact eithe


Oh I disagree - once he's there I close the living room door as always and he cry's for a short while. He only takes himself off there when I've told him off so he KNOWS it's for when he's been naughty (and it's incredibly boring on our naughty step, very plain bland hallway with nothing but a mirror very high up on the wall

[Gwenick]

yes just take him out of the chair, don't make a fuss about it, warn him (as usual) and if he continues just take him out quietly and get on with whatever else you were doing (eating you dinner etc etc). If he screams - ignore for a while, then tell him he can get back in and try again.

[jabberwocky]

I'll give it a try. He's outside with his dad right now. I think I've been put in time-out by dh! Probably a good idea too!

[Gwenick]

LOL jabber - my DH often 'puts' me in time out - sends me outside (in the summer) for a coffee LOL

[chipmonkey]

Jabberwocky, I'd just take him out of the highchair. If he's spitting he's probably not all that hungry and will only make more of a mess if he stays there! Your ds is under 2 and I think at that age the naughty step has very little impact anyway!

[chipmonkey]

PS I'd LOVE dh to put me in time-out. Don't think I'd like the naughty-step though!

[aloha]

Or even just leave him there and literally take no notice whatsoever. Even taking him out of his high chair is attention of some sort for some children. You just don't even make eye contact. You can even carrying on talking etc as before. I would bet that after a while of getting no reaction at all, he'll start eating again and it will subside.

[aloha]

BTW spitting is very very shocking and rude in an adult, but it really isn't the same in a child. To them it is merely an interesting sensation and effect, made a million times more intriguing by the huge effect it has on you!

[NannyJo]

i don't think that`22months is too young. it's not having enough of an effect to sink in. how long do you leave him there. is it long enough for him to feel like he's missing out on something whilst he's there.

I would perservere with it and eventually he should that keep being put there is boring and he should give up.

HTH goodluck.

[NannyJo]

sorry meant to say 'eventually he should learn...'

[mummylonglegs]

Message deleted

[staceyh1984]

hi i've got the same problem with my two year old, i put her on the naughty spot, she just does the same thing again as soon as i let her off!! your not alone, some advice would be great though!!

[handlemecarefully]

Escalate from the naughty step to proper time out.

Also don't think 22 months is too young to grasp it.

[Labs]

Have you tried a firm warning followed by proper time out if he disobeys (1 min for every year of life, so 2 mins for you)? We now put our little girl in her room with door closed for 2 mins (timed - it always feels longer than it is!!!) if she bites or hits with a very firm 'NO biting'. She does get upset, but they need to! She did start the dribbling thing for a bit and I tried really hard to look away/walk away as soon as she did it, to give no attention and she gave up quite soon. I am a huge fan of Tanya Byron, and I think this is what she would say!!!

[jabberwocky]

Well, just an update. I tried ignoring him for the most part and that does seem to be the trick - at least for this time!
He is back to eating again and the whole house is breathing a bit easier, although I think I was the one causing most of the tension...