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If your child was a pusher/hitter/hairpuller

(5 Posts)
Flo23 Tue 06-Oct-09 13:28:36 long did the phase last for?

DS2(24 months) is lovely most of the time, but will push/smack/or pull hair of other-mostly smaller, children at nursery, toddlers or soft play.

I am always nearby at the groups we go to, and if he does do any of the above he gets a firm 'No .....' and has to sit out for a couple of mins and then say sorry to the other child. They do the same with him at nursery.

Am starting to feel really upset by his behaviour, he has been like it for a couple of months now. Am also concerned as DC3 due at Christmas and I am so hoping he's over it by then.

He's not yet talking and has been assessed by HV who doesn't think there's anything to be concerned about.

Anyway, what I really wanted to know was if your toddler had behaved like this, how long did it last for? Also, any ideas of how to manage it would be gratefully recieved!

inthesticks Tue 06-Oct-09 13:43:24

DS2 was a biter at 2, a phase which lasted only a few months but I do remember the embarrassment. We followed exactly the same rules as you, sit out for a few minutes then apologise. This was the way it was dealt with at his nursery and it did the trick eventually. The nursery staff were quite reassuring that lots of toddlers go through this phase.
Once we were at an airport and DS was in a soft play area when I heard a blood curdling scream. My heart sank and I prepared myself for a grovelling apology to the victim's parents. To my surprise DS2 came running out with a huge bite mark on his arm. I was delighted for once to have a victim rather than a perpetrator blush.

Clare123 Tue 06-Oct-09 13:47:33

Hi, massive massive hugs. I posted on here about 2 weeks ago and I was close to despair at my 26 month old boy. He is just so boisterous and has done a lot of biting, hitting and scratching. Its so shameful and horrible. BUT (and I hold my breath whilst typing this!), he seems to be getting better. We went to several play groups last week and yesterday and he was fine. I still have to watch him like a hawk and there is no sitting and relaxing for me! I try never to be more than a metre away (mad isn't it?!)

Search my last post - as I got some really good advice. Especially, taking him away from busy/noisy areas.

I have tried to be very consistent so I use time out for any agressive behaviour and for biting we go home.

Everyone tells me it is a phase and horribly for us some kids just do it more than others.

Flo23 Tue 06-Oct-09 16:00:55

Thank you.

Clare-have read your thread and will definitely be following some of the advice on there.

He has also been on the receiving end of his sort of behaviour and I hoped that this might stop him from doing the same. Not so far...

giveloveachance Tue 06-Oct-09 16:11:35

My DD is the same - Always tell her no hitting and remove her and get her to say sorry. Its difficult though as more often than not she is responding to a push or hit from another child or having a toy taken away and in her little mind she thinks only the other child is naughty and what she did was ok so I tell her that the other child should not have done it but neither should she. More often than not though, the other child does not say sorry for their part in it, nor does the mum get them to. Seems that the one who hit last is the one that gets all the blame.

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