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Is my baby unusually overconfident?

(9 Posts)
Aranea Mon 05-Oct-09 13:34:55

Feel free to tell me I'm being ridiculous. It's just that I have never seen a baby behave in quite the way dd2 does.... She is almost 1, and wants to be cuddled by everybody, even people she's just met. She'll lean out of my arms for a cuddle with a total stranger.

If she's frightened of something, she'll reach for the nearest adult, even if it's someone she doesn't know. I would have expected her to come back to me.

And the other day she hurt herself, I picked her up, and she leant out for a cuddle with my mum.

Has anyone else got / ever had a baby who behaves like this? I'd be very interested to know, especially if you can tell me how your babies developed socially - did they go on being so very confident and outgoing?

I must admit she makes me feel a bit sad sometimes when she doesn't seem to need me particularly, but I do know I'm being silly. I'm at home with her all the time and she co-sleeps and bf on demand, so I suppose (hope) it is just that she doesn't worry about whether I'm there for her.

deepdarkwood Mon 05-Oct-09 13:42:48

dd was like this - I had to hand her to some random bloke in a lift in Sainsburys at about 6 months as she wanted to cuddle him blush

She's now 3.5 and has remained highly socially confident - sometimes in a lovely way, sometimes in a way that makes me want to die. She will stop strangers in the street and compliment them on their shoes & flings herself on any man who comes through the door (literally) She is also very bossy and controlling-- confident with her peers

She's a second child (ds was never like it) - I wonder if they just grab any affection they see smile

Stigaloid Mon 05-Oct-09 15:31:24

My DS (only child) is also very socially confidant. At 2.2 he just walks into a room and announces his arrival and will happily sit and play with anyone. I worry that i need to teach him stranger danger (although there are some times when he is a little reticient at meeting people so i guess not). My concern is that if i teach him to be wary of strangers then he will become too wary but if i don't then i am doing him a disservice IYSWIM.

smileyboy Mon 05-Oct-09 17:24:27

My ds was like this, a very happy sociable baby but when he turned 2 he completely changed and became aware of stranger danger and separation anxiety all in one go! Enjoy it while it lasts! DS is now very reserved and doesn't speak to anyone until he has got to know them.

aarghhelp Tue 06-Oct-09 10:51:37

My DS is like this. He is vv affectionate. We live in a village and everyone knows him, and we go to church and he wanders round happily beaming at everyone (16 months). He has always been happy to be cuddled by other people. I think it's great having a sociable child. Children have different temperaments - the part of their character they are born with - and some are naturally outgoing. I will teach him about danger and being careful when it is appropriate.

Oh, and he is an only child, and gets quite a lot of attention, so I had wondered whether it might also be influenced by being used to being the centre of attention, in contrast to deepdarkwood!

Aranea Tue 06-Oct-09 13:59:47

I'm glad to hear it isn't necessarily to do with being a neglected second child! I waver between feeling proud and pleased that she is so sunny and outgoing, and having neurotic thoughts about whether she is starved of attention from me and is somehow not properly bonded with me.

3rdnparty Tue 06-Oct-09 14:04:00

my ds like this as a baby and still at 4.5 walks into school on first day with a 'bye mum see you later ...hello I'm here' to everyone else
....no idea where it comes from dh/me both quite shy retiring types and it makes me a bit anxious on how hes going to deal with knock backs ...and have no idea how going to do stranger danger, but have figured let him enjoy being himself for now deal with the rest as I need too...

I did find he needed company from quite an early age so did playgroups/activities as got bored with just mummy all the time - worked for me too smile

loupiots Tue 06-Oct-09 14:28:20

Yes, I've got one like that, (3.6 yrs)and it is disconcerting at times, as I'm certainly not that sociable and outgoing and neither is his father.

He's been like that since he was able to sit up and notice others. Confident, no apparent fear of strangers, happily toddled up to anyone that took his fancy, chats to anyone, wants to play with everyone and will says goodbye to everyone in the tube as he leaves the carriage, announces what he's doing with the assumption that everyone is interested in him...

I really understand what you say about worrying how he will cope with knockbacks, 3rdnparty, I worry as well. I try and reason with myself because he will be dealing with all from a child's, not an adult, perspective. However I am, unreasonably I fear, anxious about him....

ellokitty Tue 06-Oct-09 22:34:57

My DD1 is very like this... she would and still does talk to anyone! I remember getting on the bus a few years ago and some complete stranger started talking to her "Hello again X, and this must be your little sister X, and your friend Y. I hope you have a lovely birthday party..."
Turns out whilst I had been changing DD2s nappy (in a tiny room, too small for DD1 to be in, so she had waited outside) she had met this lady and practically given her her life story! We've had to do lots of work on stranger danger - so whilst DD1 is happy to talk to all and sundry (and still does), she knows that she musn't go anywhere without my explicit permission.

I remember at about 1-2, we were at a friends house and the friend's father popped in to visit. Whilst the man's granddaughter was shy and would not go anywhere near him, my DD was sat on his lap, playing and chatting away blush.

Some children are just like that!

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