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(20 Posts)
MRSflamesparrow Wed 08-Jun-05 19:38:18


I love this place, tis all echoy and good for arghing.

DD is 2, and can be so sweet and lovely... unfortunately lately she has gone off that persona and turned into a little cow.

She has always been prone to tantrums, and throwing whatever was in her hand if she was in a strop, but lately we have screaming at being told no, followed by the throwing (preferably of drinks/food/stickle brick boxes... anything to make ultimate mess), followed by collaping on her front, either quiet (which I like) or screaming again.

On top of that, we are having to say no to her more, because she has taken to swiping toys off any kid playing with what she wants, and thumping them in the face (with her cast for maximum damage and pain) for no reason.

And then we have the spitting... normally if she is being stopped from doing something she wants to do (ripping things off shop shelves, thumping children in the face etc..). She knows I hate it, and looks me right in the eye and just dribbles - if I tap her lip and say no (which used to work), she is now just spitting it.

Distraction does nothing - she just hits me/pulls my hair, and keeps screaming.

Stairs/naughty corner don't do much either - she just gets off and I have to pin her in the corner/stairs.

At home I can put her in her room behind her stairgate to scream it out, but obviously not possible at friend's houses/shops etc.

I don't know what to do any more. I play with her, read to her, feed her decent non-processed food (80% of the time anyway).

She's hardly eating at the moment too Poking her lunch round, nibbling at dinner. She's a heavy child, so isn't exactly wasting away.

I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.... I'm trying for number 2, but at the moment I'm looking at her thinking "This is the job you've done with just one child, what will happen when you try another one"

Donbean Wed 08-Jun-05 19:42:40

Oh God, im in a very similar situation with my ds! Im so glad to be able to talk to some one who is experiencing the same.

Donbean Wed 08-Jun-05 19:43:25

Do you think that some thing has triggered this behaviour or do you think that it is another phase type thing?

cadbury Wed 08-Jun-05 19:47:10

Sounds like my dd at 2 actually, (and three, and one, and four )

I am reliably informed that they do grow out of it.

Do you think she may be feeling that she is trying to make herself the centre of attention after all the excitment recently.

MRSflamesparrow Wed 08-Jun-05 19:47:37

I'm assuming that it is officially terrible twos.

I can't see anything that could have triggered it - unless she felt neglected by the wedding planning etc. All I know is that I look around at other toddlers, and even though they have their tantrums, they don't seem anywhere near as unsettled or angry.

How about you? Does it seem phasey or triggery for your DS?

MRSflamesparrow Wed 08-Jun-05 19:48:27

Lol - crossed posts Cadbury! I think we could be onto something.

She's decided that we're potty training too... maybe its just all too much.

Donbean Wed 08-Jun-05 19:58:46

Im not sure why he has suddenly started to hit other children, he seems to do it spontaneously, without warning and for no aparrent reason.
We kind of come down on him like a ton of bricks when it happens because we find it to be totally unacceptable behaviour.
Dont know if this is right or not.
Other things i know that he is testing the boundries as he looks directly at me when doing some thing that he knows is not acceptable.
This we treat calmly with persistant consistency.
He isnt what i would call naughty as such and i dont feel out of control, he is pretty easy to steer in the right direction at the moment.

Donbean Wed 08-Jun-05 20:02:01

Ive read books such as toddler taming and find them very helpful in that they help me to put things into perspective and teach me what is normal behaviour and expected phases.
I can pick my battles with him but find it wearing.

MRSflamesparrow Wed 08-Jun-05 20:02:25

Show off [tongue pokey out emoticon]

I wish B was easy to steer in the right direction!!!

She does the looking right at us thing when she is doing what she's been told not to - most apparant with the bloody dribbling. I blame Stitch for that! It started after she got hooked on Lilo and Stitch and he dribbles playing with laser guns!!!

Saying that, she is now wandering round in a HUGE nightie being the most loving little girl in the world.

MRSflamesparrow Wed 08-Jun-05 20:03:09

I keep meaning to get the babywhisperer toddler one - I know that I took a lot from the baby one, so it might help with toddlers too.

Donbean Wed 08-Jun-05 20:04:30

nono! wasnt bieng smug, was just thinking out loud really, because my dread and fear is getting to the problem that you have and running out of ideas on how to manage a certain behaviour.

MRSflamesparrow Wed 08-Jun-05 20:05:33

Lol - was meant to be a smiley tongue pokey outy guy

Donbean Wed 08-Jun-05 20:05:34

Can i ask, what do you do when she is aggresive towards other children?

MRSflamesparrow Wed 08-Jun-05 20:07:42

At the moment she is being removed, and sat in stairs/corner/her room etc, and then she hugs them sorry when she is finished yelling (or thumps them again depending on how sneaky she's being - sometimes she stops crying and pretends to be calm )

Donbean Wed 08-Jun-05 20:08:44

I ask because i am totally mortified and it really quite upsets me.
Only because if some child did it to my child i would be REALLY upset.
I take him out of the situation and make him have some time out. Appologising profusely to the child/parent.

Donbean Wed 08-Jun-05 20:09:35

Ah so you do the same, im on the right tracks then.

Donbean Wed 08-Jun-05 20:11:15

We are thinking of number 2 as well but im not entirely sure that it will be a good idea because i feel like things are going to get much much worse at any time!LOL

MRSflamesparrow Wed 08-Jun-05 20:12:38

Luckily it is my godson that is the main one she thumps, so its not quite so mortifying - they are like siblings

Pretty much though, now I have the hitting child, as long as the parent was telling theirs off for it, then it wouldn't bother me so much if someone else hit her.

Donbean Wed 08-Jun-05 20:16:14

I kid you not though, im sure he is sprouting hooves and long as he doesnt start hitting people with his pitch fork we should be ok and not reported to the local constabulary!
His nick name in this house is simply "beast"
Hes bloody gorgeous and did a BIG poo in next doors paddling pool today, couldnt appologise as i was laughing too much!

oops Wed 08-Jun-05 21:16:53

Message withdrawn

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