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dd has behoiur problems need help for chart

(6 Posts)
aaliyahsmum Wed 08-Jun-05 17:30:11

i took my dd to see hv today about her diet and she said my dd had behaviour problems which need addressing NOW,i am going to make a behavoir chart but not quite sure where to get started and also not sure on rewards etc, basically she is rude, cheeky, lazy and untidy i didnt think this was anything out of the ordinary for a 4 yr old i know she is hard work but i just thought it was her being her i would love to hear any suggestions from other mums of what may work and what they do as i am at a lose. thanks clare x

aaliyahsmum Wed 08-Jun-05 18:08:55

also what is a suitable bedtime for 4 year old i think 7-730 but not sure

LIZS Wed 08-Jun-05 18:31:03

Think you need to set clear but positive thigns to reward, ignoring the back chat etc. Lavish praise on things like helping to tidy after herself, to the pint of being ott, especially if she does it without being asked. Depends ont he type of behaviour you need to change, and perhaps focus on one thing at a time,m but a chart could be whole days, morning/afternoon. evening , every couple of hours or for a specific regular task like going to bed with no fuss or sleeping in own bed all night. You'd award a sticker for positive things and after so many let her choose a treat, anything from a favourite video to choosing where to go to play.

ds used to go to bed around 7.30 at 4 and would sleep for about 10 1/2 - 11 hours. Diet may well also play a part in your dd's behaviour but I'd find it pretty frustrating to have been told this by a hv but not given enough uidabnce as to what and how to change.

Loobie Wed 08-Jun-05 20:26:58

Another thing to try is a token reward system where by she earns tokens,i use glass pebbles and a coffee jar,she earns a token for any good behaviour,doing as she is asked,sitting nicely,basically anything you want her to be doing.
On the other hand she loses a token for any unsatisfactory behaviours,cheek,rudeness etc basically anything you dont want her doing.
She needs to earn a certain amount by the end of the week to get her choice of treat.
This system gives immediate rewards for good behaviours and immediate consequence for bad unwanted behaviours,i found this system worked better than reward charts,we use both at home,it also is easier to use for general behaviour as opposed to actual tasks for example going to bed,getting dressed tidying up room etc.

angie0201 Wed 08-Jun-05 22:54:21

something we used to do in the school i worked in was to have a clear jar and put penneys in it when they had carried out a request or tidy up when asked to, polite whatever behaviour that is the focus. we made the targets really achievable which is the key and never took a penny out when they displayed negitive behaviour. Then for about 4 year olds when they had got 5 pennys in the jar they would get a reward, something small, e.g. taking them to the park, watching 30 mins of t.v. whatever we would consider a reward to that particular child, then when they got 5 more pennys again a reward, maybe letting your child choose between a couple of options, this makes them proud of what they achieved and we really saw a marked change in the majority of children. the trick is as well is to try to ignore negetive behaviour, and only get attention to the postive, even go way over the top with the attention!! Good Luck

angie0201 Wed 08-Jun-05 23:01:32

Sorry if repeated other msgs only just read them sorry

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