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2.8 year old daughter won't stop rubbing herself (sorry - bit graphic!)

(9 Posts)
Littleover Wed 30-Sep-09 12:13:50

I'm at my wits end, at the suggestion of my health visitor and gp I have been ignoring this for almost 10 months now. I can't link it to potty training because she used to do it when she was in nappies. She is doing it as I type! She started rocking/rubbing herself against the crotch strap in the buggy (all 3 of our buggies in fact) whilst seated and moving her legs at the same time. Then she started doing it in the car seat (another crotch strap). We thought it was the sensation of the nappy and it would stop once she was out of them - no such luck, she has better access now. She has just sat in the trolley in Waitrose doing it, she gets aggravated to the point of screaming when she has to get out and walk. Car journeys mean we have screaming and hiding in the footwell when we need to get out. If I ignore it , it can go on for an hour or so. Once she starts she refuses to be distracted with toys/activities she likes. It isn't a situation I can monitor all day as i have another child, just as demanding in her own way. I think it might be an attention thing as she defiantly stares me out while doing it but she will do it quite happily if I don't have eye contact with her. Doing it in front of other people doesn't bother her. She has eczema and at the moment has a rash on her back and legs as well. She is a very highly strung girl and she gets hysterical if the baby cries, hiding behind me. Her cranky behaviour most days shocks the shit out of me as we are both fairly laid back parents, although we have set boundaries on everything. Any ideas before I search for a chastity belt on ebay?

orangina Wed 30-Sep-09 12:18:32

Has she got thrush? Is she actually itchy there? A non stop itch would make me quite cranky too....

loujay Wed 30-Sep-09 12:27:41

My dd did this too!
Strangely everyone seems to acknowledge that boys will play with themselves when they realise that there is something down there but noone talks about girls!!
We had a talk with DD and said that if it is something that she wants to do then its ok but only in her bedroom on her own IYKWIM.

Failing that try thrush cream....they are not meant for kids but they do work!!

orangina Wed 30-Sep-09 12:47:22

(my dd had thrush, and was prescribed canesten by the gp, so it's fine....)

Littleover Wed 30-Sep-09 20:36:35

Thanks orangina, hadn't even thought of thrush. Had a look at bathtime and there is no visible sign but we are off to the Dr's on Friday about her skin rashes so I will bring this up as well. I'll get some canesten tomorrow too.

It's good to know that your dd did it too loujay, I am trying not to make an issue out of it but if it is behavioural I'll have to steer her towards another hobby!

13lucky Wed 30-Sep-09 21:09:11

This might seem like a totally random post but thought I would add it anyway! My dd used to rub herself against the carpet and as you say, if you tried to distract her she would go straight back to it...very embarrassing when you're in company! It took me so long to realise that it was related to needing a poo - she was trying to hold the poo in...don't ask me why this should help but obviously it did. Anyway, as I said this sounds completely crazy but once I realised this was what it was and started taking her to the toilet straight away for a poo, she stopped doing it...the problem (which had been going on for ages) seemingly solved overnight (although she would still do it each time she needed a poo and I would have to spot her and take her to toilet straight away...she doesn't do it at all now (she's 3.3 years old).

Littleover Thu 01-Oct-09 23:09:37

Not random at all 13lucky, she is dry but flatly refuses to poo in her potty/toilet. She once held it for 3 days until it wasn't an option, did a third of it on her potty and ran off crying dropping the rest as she ran across the room. We are about week 7 now of training and she has trained herself to go as soon as her nappy goes on at night. I am ignoring it so not to make a reaction to it, hoping she will get the message. I have tried the nappy placed in the potty to no avail. I am sure she'll get the message.....

goldpony Mon 05-Oct-09 12:05:18

Hi. I've just posted a rather similar post about my DD - also 2.8. Hadn't notice your post but good to see someone else having a similar experience!

I think my DD started around the time we potty trained her - suddenly her bits were no longer hidden away in a nappy and she was REALLY intrigued by them and spent a lot of time looking! I think the rubbing on her chair probably started with an itch but she simply discovered something that felt nice.

It is hard to ignore isn't it. And I don't handle it well when she does it in other poeple's houses. I did ignore it for ages - half enjoying hte time to give to my DS (4mo) and other stuff - but she will do it for an hour if left alone. I'm shocked at how I feel about it, but it takes my breath away to see her all red faced on her chair. That said, I really don't want to give her negative messages about her body and pleasures. I just want this phase to stop! NOW!!

LauraIngallsWilder Mon 05-Oct-09 12:07:50

I have another random suggestion but I need to hurry up and go out - will post more later

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