Expecting too much - getting down from the table.

[Clare123]

My 2.2 yr old is a great eater and enjoys his food. He will run to the table at dinner time and get in his booster seat. He eats his dinner all by himself (has never let me feed him!) and finishes quite quickly. My 4 yr old is also a good eater but takes longer. I have been trying to get my 2 yr old to wait until my other child is finished before he gets down. He is very cute and does ask, but just won't stay seated no matter how many time I ask him. I tell him if he gets down there will be no dessert, in which he normally does not care.

I am finding my little two year old quite tough at the moment. I posted last week about him hitting other children and being very boisterous - and so active! And this just seems like one battle I don't want to fight, but as a family I want us to sit up and eat our dinner together, and eat together at friends and when we go out. I also say no toys allowed at the dinner table.

What do you think? Too much to ask or should I press ahead.

Thanks so much. I really value your advice :-)

[lilmissmummy]

I think you should press on with trying to get him to sit at the table. 2 year olds are just trying to push guidelines and I dont think that you should back down.

However is there someway you can get him to stay there? Maybe with a car or a book or something as a mini bribe.

good luck xx

[moondog]

Too much to ask.
I'm a stickler for eating at the table but when they've finished, as far as i am concerned, they are freee to go if they ask nicely. Oh and mine are 5 and 8.

[Aranea]

personally I don't think this is a battle worth fighting unless your 4yo is having trouble finishing their meal because the little one has got down. If that's not the case, I wouldn't bother. It will all come together in time.

[nickytwotimes]

You are doing well to get a 2 year old to sit in his seat voluntarily and stay there until he gas eaten.
I have trouble keeping 3 yr old in his seat and as soon as he is done, he is off!
However, I am a bit laid back about eating stuff, mainly because meals were a battle ground when I was a kid and that contributed to my eating disorder. (ther were more serious issues - this just compounded it).
ANyway, your house, your rules, but I would say let him have a toy or book for when he has finished eating.

[Bramshott]

This is tricky - luckily in our house it's the other way round - DD2 (2) usually takes longer than DD1 (6) and I explain to DD1 that she needs to stay at the table because DD2 is still eating, and when everyone has finished eating, we can all have pudding.

2.2 is very small, so unless it upsets your 4 year old a lot, I would let him get down, and make an issue out of it when he's a bit older. Would he stay at the table if there was something to do, like colouring?

[sleepwhenidie]

I am with you on no toys at the table, also, for me, this is not a battle worth having every day with a 2YO, especially if you are fighting your way through the day on other behavioural issues. You don't want to feel you are on his back all the time (nor is it good for you to feel stressed all the time with him).

You need to pick the most important behavioural points to deal with and hitting probably takes priority over sitting at a table and waiting for others to finish eating! If you have a DS who loves to come and sit at a table and then eats well, that is fantastic (I have a 4YO DS who I still often have to coax food into, drives me mad...) - don't make the table a place he associates with arguments with you....having said that, maybe tell him that if he waits at the table he can have pudding/a treat of some kind which everyone gets when everyone has finished - but be strong about him not getting it if he gets down before 4yo is finished. You can get stricter with him later on when he can better understand the concept of table manners!

[Clare123]

Thank you all so much for your replies. It's nice to get some perspective! I think I will just not worry so much - I am focusing so much on getting him to be less boisterous (and stop hitting), that one more "battle" just doesn't seem worth it right now. I will let him get down, but still stick to "if you get down there is no dessert" and focus on my 4 yr old. Hopefully he will soon see its bettter to stick around and get some pudding and attention!!

Thanks again. It has really helped.