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separation anxiety...

(7 Posts)
lunarx Tue 07-Jun-05 14:24:55

how do you cope with it? ds is now 11 months +1 week and sometimes when i leave his room or sight, he cries frantically and wails. sometimes i go back and rub his back and let him know that i'm still here just not in the room.

but i really don't know what to do in the long term. do i ignore it and leave him to it? (to find a toy to amuse himself) or do i go to him and comfort him (not picking him up though).

i know this sounds so novice! but i dont have anyone (family or experienced friends) nearby/close to ask!

i hate hearing him scream... but i dont want to engrain (sp?) behaviours in him that if he cries, he gets attention... :sighs:

bakedpotato Tue 07-Jun-05 14:34:56

What happens if you keep talking to him, shouting if neccessary? So he can hear your voice if you're elsewhere in the house?

lunarx Tue 07-Jun-05 14:53:52

he, more often than not, still cries. i've tried singing loudly, talking, anything! i dont want him to think i've abandoned him, but sometimes i need to get things done when he is awake!

Alannah Tue 07-Jun-05 15:13:27

I read somewhere the peek-a-boo game, beloved of all babies, is good because it teaches them that you are still around even if they can't see you. Not much help but worth trying a few intensive sessions of peek-a-boo?

bakedpotato Tue 07-Jun-05 15:35:48

lunarx: what can you do? You can't carry him everywhere, you can't NOT do stuff, so I would just resign yourself to a noisy few weeks.

Good idea too, if you do leave him with someone else for whatever reason, to always say goodbye (even if it makes him cry a little when you do) bcs this will teach him that if you say goodbye it means you will come back in the end... and if you don't say goodbye, it means you are just in the next room

jessicasmummy Tue 07-Jun-05 15:39:36

it wont take long.... jess went through this (10 months) for less than a week.... it was nightmare week, but it stopped.

For bed time, we would ignore for a set time and reeturn, calm her, and leave again.

For during the day when she was playing and we left the room, we let her cry! She soon discovered she could always come and find us!

lunarx Tue 07-Jun-05 17:07:49

:grins: hiya jessicasmummy! i remember your posts! he isnt feeling good, so i HAVE to keep reminding myself that.. teething BADLY.... he only cries when he is in his cot upstairs or playpen downstairs, if he is out and about walking around, he is happy! it will pass, i must keep telling myself that..

and in the meantime, find new ways to save my sanity and not be a total *itch to dh when he gets home tonight...

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