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what is the best way to explain to a 6yo that other ppl have also needs and feelings

(6 Posts)
joburg Sun 27-Sep-09 10:14:10

DD, 6 1/2, seems to live in her own world still and ignore other ppl's feelings (not only ours but her playmantes too). It's almost impossible to explain to her that her DF is really sick and can't take her to the pool today because he burned his skin badly the last time he was out with her (she wouldn't come to terms with us not even after promissing that tmrw we will make it up for her). Or, expalining to her that today it's not gonna be playing with x friend because he needs to go hospital, he broke his arm (it's no use telling her about her friend's pain, she just doesn't care!!!!) I'm so tired of all this talk that doesn't seem to make any difference to her. I't all about 'me me me' . Damn' DD is almost 7 and not giving a damn about other's ppl's feelings (am i wrong to expect her to understand a bit of this??????)
How to talk to her so she can understand others also have feelings? Needs? I do understand she could be frustrated of this, but still .... How should i talk to her to make her accept things like WE HAVE TO DO, WE CAN'T DO...

bonnyb1 Sun 27-Sep-09 11:15:22

My daughter is exactly the same, it is a very self centred age, recognising the feelings of others comes gradually. I have found that watching a film together is good, something like 'Matilda' - afterwards you can discuss how the characters felt, how she would feel in that situation etc to encourage empathy.
But basically children are egotistical little ratbags! (as are alot of adults.......) wink

joburg Sun 27-Sep-09 11:32:22

Bonnyb i do agree with you .... kids are just egoistical little monsters, but this should be changed gradually, right? And that we are trying to do for at least 1 year and a half .... in so many ways (including watching a movie and talking about it, talking about our feelings in so many ways) ... but now i've had enough (at least for today ) Do any of you moms have any really good tips to hold such conversations with the little monsters? I surely need some tips and i mean like really samples of those conversations couse i ran out of ideas and patience... pleaseeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BertieBotts Sun 27-Sep-09 11:39:14

Yes, it is normal for a 6 year old to be like this

Have you read "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk"?

I think one suggestion in there is a role-play with teddies, so instead of saying "How do you think Joe felt when you ate the last biscuit and left none for him?" you say "Here is a teddy and a giraffe, the teddy eats all the biscuits <nom nom nom> the giraffe comes along... how does he feel? How does the teddy feel?" - so you are removing her from the situation.

BertieBotts Sun 27-Sep-09 11:45:26

This is supposed to be a good book as well (though it is quite old) Your Six Year Old

joburg Sun 27-Sep-09 13:01:26

yes i did read 'how to talk' and even so, i ran out of resources .... thank you moms ... my DD would be fantastic for one day and then the next 5-7-9 days she would forget everything .... and then it would be another long talk with her or 2 or 5 until she comes to her 'senses'.... but it doesn't seem to stick .... not a bit (that is what i am scared of ....) shouldn't it start to become part of her little-tiny-bit of understanding? little by little ... tiny bits???? we are on square zero every single time. is it too early for age 6?

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