crying all the time(9 Posts)
i really need help, i have a son of 19months old who mostly is a happy chappy playing etc but i also have a 7 month old girl who does nothing but scream day in day out. Night, day and in between and after 7 months i am getting to the point where i feel i have not bonded with her very well and that the relationship with my son is suffering. I have tried everything from different bottles, more solids, nappy, temperature, etc the list is endless. I have also tried letting her scream which is fine but she ends up hyperventilating and upset my son at the same time. I really am at wits ends with this. I have no one to have the kids and my husband as to go to work during the day. I dont take her out much cos she screams all the time. Please Please someone help me as my health visitor and dr says she will grow out of it but what happens if i can take it any longer.
Have you had the doctor take a look at her ears? she may have a lingering inner or middle ear infection that is causing pain. Worth a try. If she is screaming rather then just whinging. Children generally cry for a reason. Good luck!
I know someone whose DD screamed constantly for the first 6 months and her parents swear she never slept - turned out she had anal fissures, they think aggravated by her Mum (BF) giving up dairy in favour of soy because she was worried about dairy intolerance. It took them that long to figure it out though .
i just really dont know what to do, i love her to bits she my little girl but i am struggling to like her at the moment. I think the best plan is to take her to dr next week and refuse to leave until something is done. She as just gone to sleep after nearly 20 mins of crying, i really feel like a bad mum letting her cry but being honest i would end up doing something i regret so i put her down in her cot where she is safe and i go into my bedroom, i can hear her so i know when she is getting too stressed but i can calm down a little.
Thanks for your quick replies
Is she eating and drinking OK? Putting weight on etc?
Is there a set time when she cries?
Does she stop when you pick her up/cuddle her?
She's still very young really. My DD wanted held alot - just that sort of baby.
There is a help line for people whose babies cry alot. Cry sis I think. Maybe worth looking them up and ringing for some support.
I had a friend who took their baby for cranial osteopathy and she said it was the best thing they ever did, her childs head and neck was very tense from the birth and when she was manipulated on a couch with mum she fell asleep. They had quite a few sessions over several months but I would definately give it a go, you wouldn't have anything to lose if it doesn't work but a lot to gain if it does.
I would also say you need to get out, even if its just walking, but why not go to some mums and toddler groups or try a childrens centre where you would also get some support or meet a mum with similar problems. It doesn't make it go away but it helps being able to share. Crying babies are incredibly hard work, I would also contact homestart to see if they have a volunteer near you that can come and support you in your home or come to a group with you, or just hold the baby while you do what you want for an hour.
My ds was like that, have posted loads and loads on here about him. He was dreadful in the day, never stopped crying, rarely smiled, wouldn't sit still without screaming. I just had to hold him and keep him moving all the time, I swear I didn't sit down for 9 months unless he was asleep! It was awful, very tense for us and obviously not a good time for him either.
Once you have checked and ruled out medical reasons for her crying then I think it's just a case of going with the flow. I know it's not much help right now but some babies are just like this for some reason. My ds always needed loads of physical contact with me, constant comforting, feeding, movement. Wouldn't go in car seat or pushchair without crying constantly.
I just figured that he was going to cry whatever I did so it was my job to just minimise the crying as much as possible, ie. feed him/ rock him to sleep (believe me people will tell you not to do it bad habbis and all that but it's about survival and doing whatever works). I gave up on puschair and just didn't go out much unless I had him in the sling, even then he'd scream if he got bored or tired.
If it's nothing medical then I think she will just out grow it. Some babies are just not happy and get really easily frustrated and scared by things. They need constant reassurance or stimulation. It's exhausting but you will survive. After my ds got walking it got better and better. Once he could talk he just was so much happier and just didn't need to cry as much cos he could say he wanted a drink, was bored, tired etc.
He's 2 now and is still sensitive, as in he needs warning if new people are coming to see him etc but he certainly isn't a screamer, rarely whinges and is lovely 99% of the time! Sorry this is long, just wanted you to know it will get better.
Can I just say I really really feel for you , and what a brilliant mum you are for coping with this for so long! My 1st baby cried all the time for first 12 weeks or so and it was the hardest 3 mths of my life!
There is absolutely nothing worse in my opinion to cope with than a screaming child every day.
With my dd it turned out it was silent reflux- does she take a long time to feed? Is the crying worse after feeds?
You need to ask for help from everyone who will listen- health visitor/gp/family/friends. Just so you can have a bit of a break from it!
I definately don't think its normal for a baby that age in particular to cry that much!
You are exactly the type of situation homestart was developed for- so you can have a break occasionally.
I have also heard of cranial osteopathy working wonders, or kinesiology also.
Keep posting for support- you are certainly not alone!! (((((((hugs))))))
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