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Still wet pants 9 month later after starting potty training

(11 Posts)
chicken78 Thu 24-Sep-09 07:59:23

Hi all,

I am reaching the end of my teather and need some help please. I started potty training with my dd when she was 2 yrs 9 months (Jan 09). At the time she came home from pre-school one day with pants on as she had taken her nappy off and told one of the ladies that she wanted to wear pants. We then bought a million pairs of pants and she seemed to work her way through them all! To start with it was complete wee everywhere. now it is just that first leak before she realises she needs to go and sometimes if she is playing or outside she just goes anyway and if you question her she just says "I don't know"

I have tried every sticker chart known to man and she is now so not interested in stickers. I've tried being very excited (there is only so much enthusiasm you can muster for half a wee and wet pants!), I've tried showing her that mummy is upset when she wee's, i've tried taking toys away.

I just don't know which way to turn now. She starts school next september and I don't want this to still be an issue. Do I put her back in nappies (really don't want to) or does anyone have any suggestions.

Please help!

whomovedmychocolate Thu 24-Sep-09 08:19:00

I'm in the same boat. What I would suggest is making her change herself and clear up any puddles but stop talking to her about it. She knows by now. With dd it seems like sheer bloody mindedness most of the time but she's less keen to wee her pants now she will be the one mopping up and no attention results.

chicken78 Thu 24-Sep-09 09:44:06

Thanks. I'll try that. It is hard not to give the attention though as I just want to understand why.

It is just so frustrating. She is so bright but just doesn't seem to want to bother any more.

Scarletibis Thu 24-Sep-09 13:09:09

Had this with my eldest dd. Tried pretty much everything. Choc buttons /ignoring it/ massive praise/ getting cross/ getting her to help clear up. None of those things worked in my case.

In the end a star chart worked - I basically said that she could have a sticker for a successful wee and if she got 3 in a row then she could watch her fave dvd - so I was rewarding a whole afternoon of concentrating on her part. I didn't let her watch any tv/dvds other than that.

She improved a lot within a couple of days and although still had occasional accidents never as bad again.

Anyway - sympathies - it is frustrating!

acebaby Thu 24-Sep-09 13:16:54

It can sometimes just take time for children to gain complete control, no matter how bright they are. She most likely would prefer dry pants, but can't quite do it consistently yet. We had the same problem with DS1. He carried on having damp pants once or twice a day for a good year after he was out of nappies (at about 2.9). He became consistently dry at 4.

My strategy was to remind myself that he couldn't help it and that he (probably!) wasn't doing it to annoy me, and then to make as little fuss as possible about accidents/damp pants. In your position, I would just accept you are in for the long haul, and keep a heap of pants handy at all times.

Don't worry about school by the way, reception teachers are used to accidents! According to DS1's teacher, many boys continue to have the odd accident well into year 1.

Breegey Thu 24-Sep-09 13:57:45

Just want to add that I'm in the same boat and it's soooo good to hear that it's happening to other poeple too and I'm not the only one with a wee-covered house.

It's so frustrating when one day my DD can do well, but only if I cajole her onto the loo every hour or so. If I forget or get distracted myself, she just wee's everywhere. I feel like I'm at my wits end, so do feel relieved that I'm not the only one.

chicken78 Thu 24-Sep-09 16:40:45

Thanks all for your thoughts. To be honest it is good to know that there are other poeple out there going through the same thing. Everyone else seems to have it cracked in 1 weeks!

Good thinking Scarletibis we don't watch much TV so that would be a really good incentive as she loves it when she gets to watch a DVD.


Ineedmorechocolatenow Thu 24-Sep-09 16:56:56

Same boat here too... It's so frustrating. DS has a couple of dry days (well, not counting a little spot when he stops himself weeing). Took him to the park today and he weed and pooed himself.... aaagh!

It's, by far, the hardest thing I've done so far in my parenting career....

I'm hoping DD will be better at it....

loler Thu 24-Sep-09 17:17:33

I'm one of the ones who cracked it in a couple of days, but...........ds1 was 3.5 when he let himself be potty trained.

I think it was that long before he could grasp the meaning of a star chart and I discovered something that motivated him (gogos).

What I'm trying to say is at least you've got her into pants and you don't have stinking nappies to deal with. It will happen in the end, next September is a very long time away.

cookielove Thu 24-Sep-09 17:28:29

the only thing i can suggest apart from what people have suggested above is that, instead of waiting for her to come to u with wet pants e.t.c take her every half hour to 30 mins, she needs to learn that her wee's go on the toliet, even if she says she doesn't need it she should go and try, even if she doesn't wee all the time your building up the routine of going to the toliet, spread it out the more confident she gets, but it is important to say we are going to try and do a wee, not do you want to, because she will most likely just say no and then just wet herself

chicken78 Sun 27-Sep-09 17:32:52

Thank you for all your comments. Had a big chat with hubbie over the weekend and I guess what I've realised is that I've been too immersed in the detail of it all and really I need to chill out and keep trying but more importantly try to look at the bigger picture. She will never be 3 again and I need to try and enjoy this time with her an not look back and remember all the frustration.

We have had a lovely weekend and a lovely family time and she had had a good day today both with wees and generally enjoyed everything.

So I will keep trying to chill out and with regular trip to the toilet and with the DVD incentive hopefully she will get it eventually.

Thank you for all your kind comments it is really nice to know there are people out there going through the same thing as me. It gives you a bit of perspective!!!

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