dd 3.2 never wants to go home and throws the biggest tantrums!!

[llynnnn]

I wonder if anyone has any helpful advice for me. dd (3.2) always throws a huge tantrum when it is time to go home from anywhere, friends houses, toddler groups, nursery etc etc! and it seems to be getting worse!

I always give her a warning that we will be leaving in 5mins and tell her what we are doing afterwards usually with promise of lunch/snack (making it sound as exciting as possible!) but she still refuses to put her shoes on and leave and more often than not i end up carrying her out under one arm while she is screaming. On monday i couldnt even get her strapped in the car, my good friend had to help. I was so embarrassed as she was screaming and screaming in the street ike i was torturing her

I know its because she is having fun and doesnt want to leave but we have to go at sometime!! its really making me not want to take her anywhere as i dread hometime!!

any top tips??

thanks in advance!

[FernieB]

She probably senses that you're dreading this time and plays on it. Try talking to her about it before she goes somewhere and tell her that if she acts like that again when it is time to go home, she will not be allowed to go to her friends house again. Make sure you follow through.

Whenever mine refused to get in their car seats I would just sit in the front seat and wait for them to stop crying (I started leaving a book in the car and would just read). Eventually (and sometimes it took ages) they would calm down and then I'd fasten them in and we'd go. When we got home, they would be told, that we didn't have time to do something because they had spent that time screaming.

[FlamingoDuBeke]

I used to have this. It was really, really hard work and very stressful for ages. Then a very good friend made a few good suggestions.

Have a treat in your bag and, instead of saying 'come in the car and then you can have your treat' say, 'come on, let's go and eat some biscuits in the car, shall we' and do that even before talking about the car - make it about the biscuits.

Or 'let's go and watch our new dvd at home, shall we?'. If I remembered, I even took our portable dvd player to put on in the car.

After taking the stress out of the situation, I hardly had to do any of the above suggestions and things got much easier. IME the more stressed everyone gets, the worse the situation gets longterm.

[llynnnn]

thanks for the replies and the suggestions. i will give them a try. i do say to her 'if you carry on we wont be coming again' but then i still take her another day (as much for me as her though!) its hard isnt it!!

[FernieB]

Following through can be really hard. I'm sure we've all failed to follow through - I certainly have! Especially when it would be easier on your own sanity to given in!

[llynnnn]

thats the problem, i'd go crazy staying in all the time and not seeing my friends!!

anyone else had this problem?