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Toddler trouble!

(6 Posts)
kando Mon 06-Jun-05 13:57:27

I'm coming to the end of my tether with dd2, who's 2.5. For the last couple of weeks her behaviour has been awful - tantruming at the slightest thing, going really bezerk when she doesn't get her own way. I know it probably is just a phase and she'll grow out of it, but dd1 was never in a million years like this, and I'm quite at a loss how to handle her. I've tried the "naughty step" (she just gets up and acts like nothing has happened), putting her in her room and making her stay in there (she absolutely screams the place down, starts banging on the door or wall, and then just opens the door and comes out). She's started biting and smacking - mostly dd1 poor love. She usually has one or two tantrums most days ... makes no difference whether she's with me or with her dad (in fact, they are sometimes worse when dh is present!)

She also hardly eats anything - breakfast is usually either a croissant (half eaten) or a pancake. She asks for lunch, but never eats it - one or two bites of her sandwich if I'm lucky, and tea she will have a couple of mouthfuls. She will eat a whole meal if I feed her, but at 2.5 I think she's old enough to do this herself (and did so up until about a month ago). I'm trying to get her to eat fruit and veg, but she's not really interested (although she'll eat strawberries no problem)

Does anyone have any ideas/suggestions of the best way to handle (a) the tantrums and (b) the not eating problem. (I know these topics have probably been done to death, but any help/advice would be really greatly appreciated!) TIA

kando Mon 06-Jun-05 17:23:35


Newbarnsleygirl Mon 06-Jun-05 17:29:05

I watched a programme the other day about children and problems their parents face. The guy expert on the programme said that a normal 4 yera old only needs 8 tbsp of food a day so from what you've said your dd sounds like she's getting that and she's only 2.5.

I'm afraid I have no advice about the tantrums as I am going through the same thing atm and it is driving me crazy!

starlover Mon 06-Jun-05 17:33:26

when you use time out/naughty step... if she gets up, put her back. keep putting her back even if you have to do it 100 times. every time you put her back tell her why she is being put there and then leave.

you could also try excluding her if she bites/smacks. Ie, if you're playing a game and she bites or smacks, then she gets taken away and ignored.

She WILL learn, but you do have to be consistent... don't change tactic after a day or two just because it doesn't seem to be working because it does take time.

As for eating, well, no child ever starved themself! Give her the meals. If she doesn't eat then she gets nothing else. If she is hungry later, she gets it back (re-heated if necessary)

saadia Mon 06-Jun-05 17:38:30

I think the accepted advice with tantrums is to ignore them, the biting and smacking - could you confiscate toys for every time she does it and say that she'll only get them back if she apologises?

Whenever my ds1(3) hurts ds2 (1) I make a huge fuss of ds2 and tell ds1 off very harshly and then threaten to punish him (denying toys, TV etc) if he doesn't apologise.

I've watched a lot of these parenting progs and it seems that the ignoring technique really does work. My ds is also prone to bursting in to (fake) tears when he doesn't get what he wants but ignoring it seems to be working. One time when crying I actually saw him peeping round the door to see if anyone was coming to console him.

Sax Mon 06-Jun-05 17:47:13

Its such a difficult stage to deal with, I have ds2 at the tantrum stage and I just walk off and ignore him. if i'm out this is of course tricky, people look at child with no mother and often try to intervene but I've been at the end of my tether so many times. I think thats something just to weather however difficult but the not eating again don't worry - they often have fads and also sometimes they are clearly not hungry and when having a growth spurt can eat for Britain. Stick at it and good advice from starlover about being consistant!

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