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I'm probably going to regret this but: transgender issues and gender disorders. Anyone know much about this?

(8 Posts)
SolidGoldBrass Fri 18-Sep-09 21:15:13

I have transgender friends and have been involved in stuff around sexual diversity and gender issues etc for years. So I am worrying that I might be over-sensitive to what is a fairly normal developmental stage.
Basically DS talks about wanting to be a girl when he grows up. Yesterday he was going on quite a lot about whether I would have loved a little girl more than him, would I love him if he was a little girl, etc. (NB I have never said anything to or in front of him about having preferred a girl, because I didn't want a girl rather than a boy; when I was PG I was happy to take what I got).
I know sex isn't entirely binary, and gender is partly a social construct anyway, but I want to do the best for my child ie neither ignore what may be a real problem nor make a big fuss over something that isn't that big a deal.
I suppose one thing that makes me inclined to believe it probably isn't a big deal is, erm, DS' love of his own willy. That suggests to me that he is comfortable in his own body, at least.

Tee2072 Fri 18-Sep-09 21:19:06

How old is he?

Golda Fri 18-Sep-09 21:19:11

How old is he?

skybright Fri 18-Sep-09 21:21:25

I wonder if a little girl wanting to be a boy would worry you so much iyswim.

cory Fri 18-Sep-09 21:29:12

wondering the same as skybright

I always wanted to be a boy;
when my little brother and I were both in hospital at the same time, we insisted on being known by the names of some characters in our favourite children's book: I was the male character and he was the female; have never had any problems with sexual identity later in life; as an adult I am very comfortable with what I am; and so afaik is my db

I think it was just the natural excitement of "the other"

I also wanted to be a dog, and an acrobat, and an outlaw

if your ds ever grows up to have a problem you will have to deal with it then

but at his age, experimenting with roles is normal

Plonker Fri 18-Sep-09 21:37:38

My dd is now 6 and often used to say things like "when I used to be a boy ..." or "when I become a boy"

I think they can get very confused over gender. How old is your son?

AMumInScotland Fri 18-Sep-09 21:38:07

I answered you on that other thread, but I'll paste it in here too grin

That article in the Sun had a link to an organisation - something like "Mermaids" which seemed to be a support group for this issue, though I've no idea whether they are actually any help! If your DS is still pretty young, then it probably doesn't signify anything - very small children don't automatically know that boys grow up to be men and girls grow up to be women, it's something they learn. So, they don't see any reason they couldn't become a girl, and consider the possibility as sensible as being an engine driver when they grow up.

I think all you can do is be positive about whatever he likes at the time, and assure him you love him just as he is. If he really feels that way, I think it will get stronger and clearer as time goes on, and if not will fade out.

SolidGoldBrass Fri 18-Sep-09 21:56:26

Thanks all - Amum, thought I mightbe better off starting a separate thread about it.
DS is 5. Basically the one of my transgender friends I actually talked to about it said she knew when she was 5, and that if he kept talking about it, it might be a possibility.
I think I will stick with not making a big deal of it for the moment and wait and see. He has also claimed to want to be a caterpillar and a train in the past smile.

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