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does anyone just ignore their dcs fighting and if so from what age

(7 Posts)
LargeLatte Thu 17-Sep-09 17:53:57

ds1 and ds2 fight loads. Physical hitting, pushing, biting, shouting, teasing, initimiadtion. They are only 4 and 2. They don't behave like that towards anyone else and in every other respect are well behaved, cheerful little boys.
My parenting style is praising the good, totally ignoring the bad and we have a naughty chair for total no-no's- which tends to be inflicting physical pain on anyone, and disobedience / non-compliance.

So far I have been interfering with every fight to break it up, find a solution or punish if necessary. This is getting me absolutely no where. Our house is plenty big enough to play seperately but they choose to live in each others pockets and so drive each other nuts.

Obviously I wouldn't ignore behaviour where one child was in danger or being victimised. But wondered how other people deal with relentless sibling rivalry - especially in children so close together in age - 21 months.

Mama4ever Thu 17-Sep-09 18:00:58

I have ds(5) and dd (nearly 2) and I'm trying to ignore any 'fighting / arguing' so long as no-one is getting hurt. Otherwise I envisage being a referee for the next 20 or so years and that's not really a career I've considered!

I do comment to ds very often about how nicely he is playing with / sharing with / looking after his sister though.

LargeLatte Thu 17-Sep-09 18:04:29

sometimes I need to put on protective body armour before I wade in. Most of it is really low-level annoying each other.

One will say something and the other starts kicking off by going 'it isn't', 'it is' and so on for the rest of their lives..... If i don;t stop them it turns physical but I'm thinking maybe letting them slog it out a bit will make them learn it wasn't that much fun. They're driving me nuts. Individually they are lovely but together its like a remake of Alien vs Predator.

NormaSnorks Thu 17-Sep-09 18:13:49

I won't have physical wrestling/ fighting in the house. If they do it I send them outside to 'burn it off'

posieparker Thu 17-Sep-09 18:15:31

NOone is allowed to hurt anyone else in this house, my oldest are boys and they are 6 & 7...much fighting starts and Mummy finishes!

ingles2 Thu 17-Sep-09 18:20:41

That's exactly what I used to do Norma... You would regularly find me standing at the back door screeching "if you're going to fight... outside ....NOW!"
I think it might have worked because they are now 8 & 9, get along brilliantly and very rarely fight.

FernieB Fri 18-Sep-09 09:17:58

My DD's (twins aged 9) also fight but being girls their fights are very much of a verbal nature. I also ignore as much as possible but if it starts to get out of hand I go in and stop it. Generally, they then unite in hating me for interrupting them and forget what they were fighting about. On the odd occasion it gets physical, I stop it straight away.

Boys are different though and often seem to sort themselves out via a quick fight. I would send them out (for the sake of your furniture) and let them slog it out if they really want to. If it gets violent, turn the hose on them! Is some of it play-fighting?

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