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Recommend a reward chart to encourage my son not to hit other family members

(7 Posts)
johnnybuoy Tue 15-Sep-09 17:43:44

Our son who is 3.5 has in the last few months started hitting other family members , ie his baby sister 1.5, his mum and me, his dad. It's not a constant thing, just occasionally but it is quite upsetting. We don't hit him but I have occasionally got angry and squeezed his arms while restraining him.
I've read elsewhere that people have had success with reward charts, is there one that you thought was particularly good that you could recommend? Thanks.

RedAction Tue 15-Sep-09 17:51:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elk Tue 15-Sep-09 18:07:52

It is difficult to use a reward chart for not doing something, particularly if it is not a frequent occurance. They are easier to use if you are trying to encourage a specific behaviour rather than discourage one IYSWIM.

If my children hit/kick etc they are told 'no hitting/kicking' in a firm voice (down at their level) If they do it again then I used time out. I also try to get them to apologise to whoever they hurt (easier said than done with dd1).

I have just realise I sound like supernanny - help!!!!!!

MrsMagnolia Wed 16-Sep-09 14:18:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nicespam Wed 16-Sep-09 14:20:06

i found they worked fine

used this one

BlueberryPancake Wed 16-Sep-09 16:05:24

Do you use anything at the moment? Time out? How do you tell him off?

Now I'm a pretty relaxed mum and we don't have many rules, but we have an absolute 'no tolerance' rule for hitting. There is no warning and they're straight in the corner for 3 minutes (I put the timer on the oven). They have to apologise and hug afterwards. They know it and have had a go at hitting only occasionally - maybe 5 times in total and I have two boys of 3.8 and 2.4 yo.

I find that reward charts work for 'minor offences' so to speak, like eating more/better, going to bed nicely, etc.

For my DS, what works is a simple chart with stars that he can stick on himself, with a present at the end that he really wants (we saw a set of plates with Thomas at tesco and we did a chart for him to eat better, and we'd put stars every meal when behaving well and eating well. After the first week he got the plate, second week he got the beaker, etc... it worked very well).

Tinkjon Thu 17-Sep-09 15:34:26

I agree that a reward chart is hard to use in this instance but if you do want one then just make one yourself, they're dead easy - no need to buy anything. Just a piece of A4 paper with some grids drawn on to make somewhere to put stickers and the days of the week. I used to draw a picture or stick on a photo of the behaviour I was trying to correct (eg. when DD wouldn't have her teeth brusded I stuck a picture of a toothbrush on the chart) so it was a visual reminder for her. Then also a picture of the reward that had been promised.

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