Does everyone's toddler/young child behave better when with other people than with you?

[HeadFairy]

I'm assuming so, because my ds is an angel when he's with my mum and dad, and whilst not exactly a devil, he's a top notch whinger and trouble maker. (my dh is off work sick at the mo, so is an observer and has confirmed ds is so much better behaved when I'm not there)

My sister's dds are the same.

Is everyone's young dcs the same? What (if anything) do you do about it? Am I obviously a soft touch, or is it just a boundary pushing thing?

I don't smack or shout (too much!) and I am firm about things I think are important (meals, bedtimes etc) so I don't know if I am doing anything wrong or if it's just normal toddler behaviour.

[BornToFolk]

Tis normal I think. DS is pretty well behaved, but has started to throw the odd tantrum at home. He never has at nursery or when my mum looks after him. He can also be a little monster after he's been with my mum overnight, like he's punishing us for leaving him!

But it's all good stuff isn't it? They're so secure in our love that they know they can act up and we'll still adore them.

[GrimmaTheNome]

Yes. And this persists till they are much older. They behave the worst where they are most secure. If you find a child that's 'good' at home but acts up at school, chances are something is amiss.

[thumbwitch]

DS starts off well (he's 21mo) but once he's comfortable enough with the other person he subjects them to his whinging too. As his doting Grandma is just finding out!

[craftynclothy]

Yes mine's the same. Is an angel for anyone else, runs wild with me (despite my best efforts!)

[meep]

I just watched my 2.3yo skip off happlily with her Granny - all after 3 hours this morning of "mummmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, mummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeee, up up up up, cuddle,cuddle, wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". Any need of a mummy cuddle evaporated at the sight of her beloved Granny & Papa!

However FIl was staying with us for 2 weeks and by teh end of it he had witnessed her normal toddler ways

[HeadFairy]

That's a comforting thought borntofolk and Grimma... I must be doing something right if he's so secure at home he feels he can act up with me Still, I'd love it if he didn't do it so much. We're currently trying to prise his dummy away from him as much as possible. I tend to have a rule that outside the bedroom he can't have his dummy, but it's a real wrench for him. Yet when his GD gets him up from his afternoon nap he actually hands the flipping thing over to him!

So how do you handle it? Obviously keep to the boundaries you feel are appropriate, not giving in to whingeing etc, and just ignore? Is there nothing else I can do? Is it going to be like this (albeit with minor changes) until he's 18?

Come to think of it, I seem to remember being a lovely polite talkative girl with all my family and friends, and a total cow to my parents when I was a teenager, so I guess this is it for a few years eh?

[BornToFolk]

Yeah, keep to your boundaries, be consistent and ignore whinging/tantrums.

I know what you mean about the dummy. We have a strict rule about only having the dummy for sleep but getting him to give the blooming thing up is hard work! I'm sure he hands it over to Granny with no complaints though...

[meep]

I sing songs when the whinging starts - sometimes dd1 joins in - other times she looks perplexed - but it does diffuse the tantrum (sometimes!)

[HeadFairy]

oooh I might try that meep, although the other day I was singing ds's favourite song (the Thomas the Tank engine song) over and over again because he normally likes it, and he turned to me and rather firmly said "enough!" He's only just 2!

[BornToFolk]

Ha! I get the "NO SINGING" if I try that.

[HeadFairy]

Everyone's a critic, eh?

[Brewster]

My little guy is not quite 14 months old and OH MY GOODNESS the whining and screeching!!!
I think he is frustrated cos he cant talk to us yet but HELP!!! When will it stop?

what can I do to stop him behaving this way?
It has been almost constant the last week or so.
If I ignore it I feel I will be ignoring him all day.

He is happier when we are out and about at the park or play centres but we cant stay there all day every day...