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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

How to explain/prepare DS for visit to child psychiatrist

11 replies

Buda · 14/09/2009 19:54

DS is 8 and I took him for a general medical check and eye test today. (We are in Budapest so things are not done like in UK). Reason for visit was fairly general - he hasn't had a full check up since he was 3.

While DS was out of the room I mentioned to the doc that he has habits. Some may call them tics. He makes a funny noise in his throat when he is concentrating and has done so since he was about 3. We have tried ignoring and telling off and gentle reminders to stop. I have spoken to various teachers and they haven't noticed but I know one boy in DS's class noticed last year so he does do it at school. He also makes snorting noises in his nose if it is a bit blocked. But then can't seem to stop. His latest is picking little spots on his scalp. He now has a circle on the top of his head with 4 or 5 scabs on.

Doc said that these things can be as a result of anxiety so has referred to him a child psychiatrist. She says the psychiatrist is very good and great with children.

I have known this Paediatrician since we moved here and value her opinion - she has 3 boys herself. I am however aware that this may be being 'over-egged'.

I wouldn't have said he was over anxious really. Although he does still sleep with me most of the time. Doesn't like going up to bed by himself and because he is an only I have let him. So he generally stays up till 9 and then I go up with him.

He has lots of friends but not one best friend. The others in his gang defer to him a lot in arguments as he is seen as being very fair (according to his teachers). Went on a 2 night school trip although he was nervous. Dealt very well with one of his room mates being sick late on the second night. Friend was afraid to go to the teacher and DS told him not to be silly, that that was what they were there for! The teachers all said he was fab.

He likes school although says he doesn't. Would like it if it was all playtime. Loves football and plays it. Has drum lessons one day a week - all his idea. Was doing tennis with some friends until last Easter - we all stopped as none of us liked the coach - he was a bit of a bully.

He has some issues with fine motor skills and has sessions with the school occupational therapist which he moans about. Last year he had 2 sessions a week and this year it will be 1. One of his best friends does the same and another couple of the class do to for various reasons.

As I said earlier he is 8. Birthday in August and has just gone into Year 4. Struggles a bit with maths and is now aware that he is struggling compared to others.

Sorry - this turned into an essay!

Anyway. How do I explain it to DS? What do I tell him?

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thatsnotmymonster · 14/09/2009 19:59

Have you asked him about the sounds he makes in his throat etc?

I would just chat to him about the sounds etc, see what ds has to say and then say you're going to see a dr to see if they can help with it. He sounds bright so he should be able to cope with that and at the same time he's only 8 so it shouldn't matter too much as he won't have any preconceptions about psychiatrists anyway.

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allaboutme · 14/09/2009 20:00

dISCLAIMER - I only have little kids..

BUT how did you explain the check up he just had? presumably something like 'its a check up to make sure you are physically healthy as you havent been to see the dr in a while etc etc'
could you say something along the same lines 'this check up is to check you are healthy and feeling well in a different way, the dr will ask you some questions about how you are feeling etc etc'

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QOD · 14/09/2009 20:07

its incredibly common to have these tics around age 8 and 9 - dd did them and I am sure lots of others on here have had them
I doubt that in the UK you would get a referral for such minor ones.
One of dd's friends, bless her, looked ike she was conducting an orchestra whilsts nodding and winking.... she did see a neaurologist but it alllllll went away over the summer hols!
good luck

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Buda · 14/09/2009 20:16

Thanks guys.

DH's inclination is to leave it for 6 months and see what happens.

allaboutme - that sounds sensible! I may do that if we decide to go ahead. I may see if there is a teacher at school who I can chat to before I decide further.

thatsnotmymonster - we have spoken to him about them so yes, I suppose I could say that although I worry that might make a bigger issue of them.

QOD - I had read a bit about them and have posted on here too in the past. I suppose my issue now is they have been going on for so long. 5 years now.

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Buda · 15/09/2009 08:30

Bumping this for morning crew.

Am thinking this morning (after not being able to get to sleep for hours last night) that I will email head of DS's school (who I know quite well) and ask if there is anyone on staff who would have some experience/knowledge in this area and that I can just chat to.

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pinkfizzle · 15/09/2009 09:05

Buda - Your post reads as though you are a caring, supporting parent who already offers your DS loads of support. So heartening to read.

When I was 8, I used to still love climbing into my parents bed if I could.

Also - my nephew, when he was the same age, was very fair and just and was sensitive to others, sometimes this could be isolating for him at school, but moving on a few years, he now has a lovely group of diverse friends. He also struggled with maths but now is ok. He did lots of team sports - (not with bullying coaches I might add) and still does them and this helped his confidence.

I have no experience to really add but just want to send waves of support to you, and add that your DS sounds fabulous with lots of positive qualities.

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nickschick · 15/09/2009 09:12

buda he sounds 'normal'- that is, in comparison with my 3 ds.

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kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/09/2009 09:52

As someone else who lives out of the UK, my initial thought was maybe he is being referred for cash. Health insurars do tend, IME, to pay out for most things for kids.
Not sure I'd want my 8 year old sleeping with me, you are a braver person than I am.

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Buda · 15/09/2009 10:12

kreecherlivesupstairs - he doesn't snore like DH!

My worry is that it could just be because they know we have health insurance. But I do trust the doctor.

nickschick - thanks. I suspect he is fairly normal. I suppose most DCs have habits.

pinkfizzle - thank you! He is great. I hope i am caring and supportive. Unfortunately I am also short-tempered, impatient and shouty.

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Zinkies · 15/09/2009 13:28

Why would he say he doesn't like school if he does like it?

Why do you not believe him?

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Buda · 15/09/2009 18:05

Zinkies - he is happy to go into school and he likes his teacher and he is interested in what the do. The school is small - 450 students between Nursery and IB and he has been there since Nursery. It has a lovely friendly atmosphere. He says he doesn't like school as he doesn't like the work. Would love it if it were all playtime. I suspect most kids are the same. Certainly all his friends say the same thing!

So it is not a question of not believing him. I do believe that he doesn't like the whole idea of school and working hard. He would rather play. But he doesn't try to get out of going to school and is generally eager to run in.