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dd is a bit of a fiddler

(12 Posts)
janx Sun 13-Sep-09 21:16:27

dd - just 5, just started reception, has a habit of fiddling with her bits. She does it when watching tv, and I always gently say something to discourage her....but I find myself going round in circles with her. Anyway her teacher mentioned that she was doing it during storytime, flagging up that it wasn't appropriate. I am finding it quite tricky to get the message over that there is nothing wrong with what she is doing it, but it is something best not done at school! Anyone got some good advice?

PacificDogwood Sun 13-Sep-09 21:19:27

Try telling her that certain things are private ie picking your nose for instance wink, same goes for playing with bits.
This worked for DS2 who is was obsessed with his "tenders" (thank you, KungFu Panda for that expression) but now keeps any playing to the privacy of his bedroom or in front of TV if alone.

Seona1973 Sun 13-Sep-09 22:05:11

my dd's teacher also said dd was doing this. I found putting her in trousers tended to stop it.

janx Sun 13-Sep-09 22:11:04

Hi
Thanks for your replies - have tried explaining why some things are best done on your own..but her constant whys lead to confusion...love that phrase "tenders" btw

Seona - I think trousers might be the way forward

StrumpetMajor Sun 13-Sep-09 22:15:11

My DD used to do this. Just as she seems to have grown out of it my DS is now in pants and cant leave his alone. "I am touching my dinkle mummy" he says. Yes I can see that hmm

It might also be best to check that she doesn't have a bit of an infection. Last year in reception my DD proudly announced to the class "I won't be fiddling with my bits today as I've got some Canestan on".

Also, changing my washing powder from non-bio to bio made her itch like mad down there.

StrumpetMajor Sun 13-Sep-09 22:17:19

Sorry, also meant to add that she did just seem to grow out of it smile

moonshine Sun 13-Sep-09 22:24:54

My dd was always touching her 'bits' from the age of about 5. People always asked her or me if she wanted to go toilet. I tried both making her aware of it every time she did it and totally ignoring it. I even took her to the doctors but it turned out to be an involuntary habit which she outgrew (along with clearing her throat every 20 secs) when she was about 7.5. Sorry not a great help, but the doctor did say it was pretty common. 'It's a self-comforting' action really and no coincidence, I'm sure, with the whole starting school lark (my dd is a very sensitive and shy girl).

Ds also always has his hands down his pants but that's just the beginning of a life-long love affair for all men, isn't it wink?

Littlefish Sun 13-Sep-09 22:26:41

I have taught lots of children who loved a good fiddle. For some children it is very comforting, for others, it might be the sign of an infection.

Rather than draw attention to it, I just used to suggest that the child go and wash their hands or go to the loo. It acted as a distraction.

Children generally just stop of their own accord (unless it's an infection).

janx Mon 14-Sep-09 20:11:57

Thanks everyone - think I will take her to the doctors as it looks a bit sore.
I don't think it is a comfort thing though as she only does it when she is relaxed.
Moonshine - lol - re your son. My ds is always tugging his willy - he is 21 months

moonshine Mon 14-Sep-09 22:10:06

Janx - I think it's a good idea to get it checked out, just in case it is an infection, but my dd would also often touch herself when seemingly relaxed as well. Whatever it is, it will sort itself out soon, I'm sure, and kids in the early years of primary school don't seem to notice such things.

Lostmykeys Mon 14-Sep-09 22:15:02

Janx - I have the same problem with my DD the school got me in touch with the school nurse who has given me some great ideas - not that they workhmm Am so reassured to see that they grow out of it from other posters. I have been informed that it is the equivalent of nose picking/biting nails etc!!!!

navyeyelasH Mon 14-Sep-09 22:27:43

what about giving her a little fiddle toy thing that maybe she can use at sorty time to help distract her?

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