Has anybody experienced separation anxiety this extreme in a 2 year old

[ilikesunshine]

DS2 has always been extremely clingy and highly strung, but I'm starting to wonder if he's excpetional in some way. He's been with his childminder for 7 months now (goes with his older brother, so not even on his own, 2 days a week) and STILL sobs his heart out whenever I take him. It's extremely upsetting for everyone concerned. He;s also really upset and touchy for a good day after his 2 days with her. Has anybody else exeperienced these levels of separation anxiety? Will he ever grow out of it?

[meandjoe]

hmmm I think it's normal for them to cry when they are separated from their mums. For some children, at least. Especially as you describe him as being fairly sensitive anyway. Not sure I can help with any advice but I can vividly remember being 4 and being left at school and crying every day for months, despite having being going to play school for months to prepare me (I just cried whenever my mum left my side!) and I turned out (reasonably) well adjusted! My friend's 3 yr old is the same when he's left at nursery so it doesn't sound abnormal to me. Must be very hard for you though. Do you think he may prefer a nursery environment where there are more children and distractions to 'dilute' the separation a bit?

[ilikesunshine]

Yes, he's like this more or less all the time. Likes to be in the same room as me at home, if not actually right next to me, and at playgroups the same, constantly looking to make sure I'm there and getting me to be right next to him. I just thought it would have started to get better by now... He's slightly better with other family members, but very easily cries if they so much as ask him a question. Do you think he needs some kind of help? sorry, probably being paranoid about it, but it just seems to extreme compared to other children of his age.

[MunkyNuts]

I was very clingy to my Mum as a child, very shy with other people, wouldn´t let her leave me at playgroup and she eventually became a member of staff there so that she wouldn´t have to leave me! Believe me I grew out of this, by 5 I was happy to go to school and couldn´t wait to leave home at 18! My DS didn´t like being left at nursery for the first 9 months (he was fine once I´d gone) and then after that he was fine going in, didn´t bat an eyelid. It´s probably a question of time.

[ahhhmen]

My ds 2.5 is exactly the same, he has been going to a new childminder for the past 4 month twice a week, he is hysterical when I leave him, aparently he's fine a couple of mins after Ive gone and he talks about all the fun things they did when he comes home.

My dp and I split jan this year my ds see's his dad 3-4 times a week, but if Ive been away for a few days with ds and he dosnt see his dad, he is hysterical and really quite nasty to his dad when he next see's him. I know for a fact my ex is a great dad and loves my ds to bits so I put this down to the same extreme seperation anxiety. My ds is the same with other relitives and friends, he's generally fine after a few minutes in all these instances though. I just wanted to sahre that with you so you not your not alone! Its heartbreaking I know.