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Overweight DD - how best to tackle?

(256 Posts)
RumourOfAHurricane Mon 07-Sep-09 21:35:21

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Puddlet Mon 07-Sep-09 21:49:38

I don't know if this would appeal, but Slimming World have a programme for 11-15s. See here...
www.slimmingworld.com/special_offer/special_offer_family_affair.asp

I have used SW and found it really good although a lot depends on the consultant.To me it feels like much more of a healthy eating plan than a diet. But if you have a good group then you will get lots of tips and advice (e.g. making healthy chips!) and your DD might be more willing to try new food if other people suggest it rather than it always coming from you.

fidelma Mon 07-Sep-09 21:51:12

The food does sound a bit problamatic, but you are doing the right thing by getting the high fat and sugar foods out of the house.
My advice would be to focus on exercise.You need to find something she likes and feels confident doing.Dancing,tennis,squash,exercise classes (perhaps with you.)Find something close to home.power walking is great and a good time to chat.She needs a 30min session 6 x per week.The more she does the more she will want to do.Build up slowly.Now is the time to get her into healthy exercise for life.
Perhaps with the food you could get a new recipe book and encourage her to choose some meals to cook for the family.
You will be able to get on top of this with her.She does not have a huge mountain to climb.Just a small one.If you are successful it should make her feel like anything is possible. Focus on health and wellbeing not weight.I will be thinking of you. Ps I have to keep my children as active as I can also.smile

eisbaer Mon 07-Sep-09 21:52:14

In my opinion, and it's only my opinion, here's the best thing to do. Reassure her that she is absolutely beautiful as she is(which she is I'm sure), and start doing sporting activities together(walking, dance class, get a dog for her anything that draws her into it) and absolutely forget diet, or a healthy eating plan or any focus on food ATALL, and focus on the "active lifestyle" part instead. She is at prime age for developing an eating disorder if food becomes too much of an issue. Sorry, don't mean to be alarmist here, but I'm a teacher and kids(esp. girls) are so vulnerable and unsettled at this age that the worst thing for them to think, again ONLY IN MY OPINION, is that they are in some way disappointing or unsatisfactory to those whose opinion they value the most(Mum's!). Honestly, I had a Mum who was concerned with weight, shall we say, and my sister still struggles with food issues to this day. Just leave it. You'd rather she was a bit big than too skinny, really you would. That can always be remedied by a bit of exercise, a slight change in lifestyle, but eating disorders can stick around for a long time. I never reply to these Talks, but felt compelled to post when I read how much your daughter's weight is in danger of being scrutinised. And kids at school will always call names, and the ones they call fat are usually the ones who are just a bit more physically mature than the wee skelfs who are yet to develop. To equip her to deal with this, don't make her think that she has to change, make her secure enough in herself that she doesn't care what they think, and encourage her to lead a healthy active lifestyle at the same time. Rant over! Good luck.

CarGirl Mon 07-Sep-09 21:52:27

is she genuinely food phobic or just very very very resistant to trying anything different?

mrsruffallo Mon 07-Sep-09 21:56:09

I wouldn't count calories with a child that young. I think that you should concentrate on making her more active and get her cooking with you.
Would she eat something like a chicken stir fry?

mrsruffallo Mon 07-Sep-09 21:57:14

Good post eisbaer

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 07-Sep-09 21:57:14

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ScummyMummy Mon 07-Sep-09 21:57:24

Agree with eisbaer

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 07-Sep-09 21:58:55

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plonker Mon 07-Sep-09 22:00:16

Does she like walking Shiney? Long walks with you/her mates/the dog? How about dancing? Not sport per se, and she doesn't necessarily have to be good at it - dancing is great whether you're good or not.

It's hard to get kids to exercise when they're not into sports, but I do think that exercise is the key at this age, just as much, if not more than diet.

I would second the recommendation for slimming world. A healthy eating plan rather than diet will be easier to keep to for your dd. The word diet in itself makes the task an uphill battle.

Can you get her involved with the cooking so that she's making it herself rather than you making it for her. Might tempt her to eat it?

You and your dd have already made a massive step by recognising there's a potential problem - you're half way there smile

Good luck

Bunnysoprano Mon 07-Sep-09 22:00:33

Hmmmmm....this is a hard one. I'm 31 and just sorting out my weight now. I have been about four stones (only two and a half now!) overweight for the last six years or so and can see that my food issues started when I was much younger.

My mum and my sister are very slim and I just ate more than them. Mostly because I liked it grin! I also ate food to comfort me and if I was bored. These are issues that I only really addressing now.

Anyway, excuse the ramblings, but I am trying to think back and wonder what I could have done differently then or my mum could. I was a real secret eater so I think the fact you have moved the biscuits etc will help.

I think a key thing though is exercise - she needs to move about as much as she can. I have taken up running and it is helping me a lot. However, I am generally trying to move about more - walk up stairs etc. Making these lifestyle changes is easier than perhaps taking up a sport that you don't really like or enjoy as I think that just puts you off even more and then it becomes a viscious cycle of not doing exercise and becoming more overweight and not wanting to do exercise as you are fat and it feels too hard.

Not sure what to suggest about the food generally. I have found that restricting processed carbs has really helped me both lose weight and sort out my terrible cravings/energy slumps so if there would be a way to try and encourage her, very gently over time to try other things, I think that would really help. Garlic bread needs to be a treat, not part of everyday eating.

Final point is that I looked at my mum and sister and realised that they drink a lot of liquid and eat a lot of soup. Both of these really fill you up and I now realise that I was eating when I was actually thirsty and if I drink enough water/tea each day that can fill me up a fair bit. Trying to encourage more liquid might also help.

Final, final point (!) is she will no doubt grow and could very easily shed this little bit of extra weight very quickly and not gain further.

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 07-Sep-09 22:03:38

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Doodlez Mon 07-Sep-09 22:04:03

Agree with upping exercise.

Really up it though Shiney - guides and stage school are a good start but she needs to be out and about every day - running it off!

Sounds a bit mad, but see if you can interest her in doing a run or bike ride for her fave charity. For example, if she loves dogs, do something to raise money for Nowzad dogs and set up a JustGiving sponsor page for her.

Very motivating!

stickylittlefingers Mon 07-Sep-09 22:07:39

I agree with Eisbaer - 11 is so young. Do encourage her to find activities she likes, tho. That'll set her off well for life, and is much healthier than dieting.

mrsruffallo Mon 07-Sep-09 22:09:15

I def agree with soup at the beginning of meals.
Good luck Shiney, I hope it all works out. I think a lot of girls go through this slightly overweight stage around this age so don't panic

CarGirl Mon 07-Sep-09 22:14:11

I was going to ask on whether she's started going through puberty yet? I think sometimes dc fatten up a bit then shoot up heightwise and then develop more of waist rather than a tummy.

Can you get her involved in eating healthier by preparing the food and explaining to her that eating a wider variety of food will actually fuel her body differently? Ask her to think of some different foods to try.

Rice noodles, cous cous some completely random things that she's not been presented with and only teeny tiny amounts. Worth a try?

colditz Mon 07-Sep-09 22:14:18

She's 11. She's still growing upwards, still storing the fat she needs for breasts and hips.She does NOT need to lose a pound in weight. You should be aiming to stabilise her weight, preventing fast gains. All she needs to do is grow an inch or two and she'll be considered slim!

Depriving her of calories means depriving her of nutrition. Take her on bike rides and knock cake on the head.

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 07-Sep-09 22:15:20

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dogonpoints Mon 07-Sep-09 22:17:43

SHe's at a good age to do som ecooking herself. Maybe you could come up with a selection of meals together that she could (help) cook without having to do any calorie counting.

CarGirl Mon 07-Sep-09 22:18:25

stop buying crisps. Smaller packed lunch so she has to the eat sandwich or starve!

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 07-Sep-09 22:18:35

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dogonpoints Mon 07-Sep-09 22:18:53

The main problem is all those sugary snacks. She likes some really good stuff too.

Sycamoretreeisvile Mon 07-Sep-09 22:19:39

Shiney - just seen this.

At her age, just try and get her more active.

You can also look at supplementing her favourites with lower calorie versions.

Be good to yourself burgers <thinks of crap example) etc.

You can do the getting more active bit together.

Can you afford/is it possible for her to join in some lessons.

I was skinny as a pin all my childhood because I danced practically every night of the week and loved it.

Dancing v. cool. She can learn some great moves and get healthy whilst at it.

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 07-Sep-09 22:21:14

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