My 2.6 ds is so so stroppy. Tell me how to cope.

[HumphreyCobbler]

I have posted before about his screaming. At the moment it is really bad, he seems to just enjoy screaming for the fun of it, rather than out of any emotion. Although he screams when he wants something too, even though I refuse to respond to anything other than words. It just results in a ten minute stand off (screaming continuously) until he eventually says what it is he wants. One problem is that he is exceptionally loud, he really is twice the volume of other screaming toddlers I have heard. The noise is making me feel ill.

I had to leave playgroup this morning as he would not stop screaming (his friend had a carton of juice, ds had finished his and I wouldn't let him take the juice from his friend). He would not walk with me and flung himself on the floor screaming while a FUNERAL party stood around . I couldn't pick him up as I was carrying dd so I ended up dragging him by his arm in the most horrific manner , then screamed at him when we were safely in the car. I don't feel that I handled it at all well, but I am knackered.

I feel ashamed of his behavior. He sometimes goes out with a babysitter and behaves well for them. He behaved well at pre-school. It must be my fault.

What did you do? How did you cope? How long did it last?

[nappyaddict]

I think you are expecting too much of him. He is 2. 2 year olds find it hard to communicate what they are thinking in their head hence the screaming.

What I would do is sit down with him and make a little book of the things he most commonly asks for using pictures cut of from magazines, newspapers, off the internet etc. So when he wants something he can point to it in his little book.

With the juice incident I wouldn't have let him take his friend's juice either but I would have offered him another drink of his own. He was probably just still thirsty and that was his way of telling you he wanted some more to drink.

If he won't walk with you are reins an option or a buggy board if you haven't got a double?

[HumphreyCobbler]

God yes, you are so right about the juice. It is just that it escalated so fast he was throwing someone's bag at me as soon as I stopped him and the screams were deafening. I think it stops me from thinking straight.

I am reassured you think it is normal, I have lost all sense of perspective (probably due to not having one nights sleep in the last year).

Thanks for the book idea too, that sounds great.

[MunkyNuts]

It´s not your fault. Most kids behave better when their parents are absent, they play up with parents bcos they know they can - unconditional love and all that. I don´t have much advice I´m afraid and in similar boat with my DS (nearly 3). However I did come out the other side with DD (4) who just seemed to calm down at around age 3, hoping DS will go the same way altho it´s taking a little longer and he´s fiestier than she ever was. I think nappyaddict is right that things will ease up when his communication skills improve. I know what you mean about screaming, it makes me boil with rage, walk away when you can and give no attention. I wish you luck and hope you pass into calmer times soon (and me).

[wishingchair]

DD2 is a screamer. She is now just 3 and still does it but not as much. I've found that ignoring her prolongs it, trying to talk her round prolongs it and unsurprisingly, shouting prolongs it

I talked to her about how she can calm herself down. We do deep breaths with long blowing out. Now, when she starts, I say to her that I will only talk to her when she has stopped screaming and that she needs to calm down. I ask what she needs to do to calm down and she starts to do some deep breaths. I do them with her and carry on till she is calm enough to talk normally, we do more if she then gets upset again until she is fine.

Yes this is giving attention, but it is sheer frustration that makes her scream, and I am teaching her a way of controlling herself. Plus, it is amazingly quick. Screaming started on Sunday after I took something away from her, 30 secs of deep breathing, we could have normal discussion, all sorted.

[nappyaddict]

Deep breathing works with DS too as does blowing bubbles so I keep a small tube of bubbles in my bag at all times now Drawing sometimes works too.

[HumphreyCobbler]

Thank you all for your helpful suggestions. I will be trying them all.

[nappyaddict]

Tub of playdough works well too. DS uses it as a sort of stress ball!