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I'm so fed up with my child's pointless aggressive destruction of everything he owns

(11 Posts)
HelenaBonhamCarter Sat 05-Sep-09 11:59:28

In the last couple of days it has been particularly extreme.

He has been deliberately shooting yellow paint at the house and all over the patio (I trusted him with it, he is usually really good as of late)

He has been smashing his metal money box with a giant iron pole (yes, I was asking him to stop, trying to reason with him, he just carried on regardless)

He keeps doing things like this. He seems really angry. Yesterday we went to a farm play centre place and met several of his school friends (they go abck this monday)

He played up madly, ran off several times in a strop with me for no reason, refused to come home when it was time, sat and howled. I put this down to tiredness and he did perk up on the way home, I didn't get cross, just bought him a sandwich to restore blood sugar levels.

I'm not sure whether he is having some issues regarding going back to school, I know he is nervous about it.

Or is it due to me being on the computer more the last few days?

I am just venting really as the mindlessly destructive element is nothing new and it upsets me to have to throw away things he's been bought by my parents because he's just trashed them sad I try to make sure they don't find out but he just doesn't seem to respect 'things' at all.

GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

HelenaBonhamCarter Sat 05-Sep-09 11:59:38

He's 6 btw.

Buda Sat 05-Sep-09 12:07:05

Sounds attention seeking. He needs/wants more attention from you so this is how he is getting it.

Could be that he is worried about going back to school combined with you being on computer more (naughty!).

HelenaBonhamCarter Sat 05-Sep-09 12:45:32

Yes, I think you are right. Thankyou Buda, you are always a bastion of sense! smile

I've not been 'just' being naughty, i've been looking up stuff on adjuvant therapies for my bf who ahs cancer and can't face google sad

but yes a fair bit of nonsense surfing to numb the mind also...will get onto it.

NotPlayingAnyMore Sat 05-Sep-09 13:21:58

Sorry to hear about your bf

I will say, though: if your 6 year old is using a "giant iron pole" (shock), you need to be taking it off him, not "asking him to stop, trying to reason with him"!!!

HelenaBonhamCarter Sat 05-Sep-09 13:24:33

You are right too. I seem to recall I was breastfeeding ds2 to sleep at the moment this was taking place or I should have done so. Again he is normally quite reliable lately with this sort of stuff - it's been accessible for months in the same place without disturbance. He is just in amood to bash I think.

Perhaps it just helps relieve whatever conflicting emotions he has got within himself atm...well much of the yellow paint has come off in a joint effort, thankfully and he is now watching harry potter after a cuddle.

sunburntats Sat 05-Sep-09 13:40:28

ok, mine is a bit like this (NONONO iron poles, take it OFF him and tell him NO fuckng way, do not negotiate)

i have read though (somewhere) that they get big testosterone surges and growth spurts....so this kinda explains to me the big question "why" is he bieng like this? it makes me feel better that its nothing that i have done.

I deal with it pretty much how you do, ensure regular food, watch diet carefully, try not to lose rag. But i also dont make a deal of it.
tell him i will be over here and he can talk to me when he has finished tantrum etc.. as long as he isnt hurting him self or any one else, let him fizzle it out.

also i always tell him when he is calmer lets make friends, lets have a cuddle and kiss and make up...then that is it, do not talk about it again, over & done with.

at bed time, we read a story, then i tell him 3 things that have made me happy/proud/smile that he has done today...can be as simple as you passed me the tv remote really nicely today, you were very helpful and that made me smile.

OR

didnt you breath well today (cos you have been pure evil and have done nothing nice all day!!!! whispers to one self!!)

always always end the day on positive note.

slowreadingprogress Sat 05-Sep-09 13:48:32

agree with buda. I'd keep the computer activities to the evening when he's in bed tbh.

Sounds very much like he is feeling very funny about going to school and needs you to give more input at this point rather than less (though I understand your need to help out your friend).

DS went back on Thursday and what worked well for us was having a very busy two days before he went back full of his favourite stuff - swimming, a bit of light pocket money spending wink Not hectic busy, as that will probably make him worse, just full of his favourite things....

Buda Sat 05-Sep-09 14:59:47

Glad I seem to make sense on here - I don't always in RL!!

Sorry hear about your friend. What are 'adjuvant' therapies please?

Agree about the testosterone surge too at this age. He may need some 'letting of steam' activities.

HelenaBonhamCarter Sat 05-Sep-09 16:49:27

Thankyou for the ideas and tips, taken on board...hope we can manage the next day or two Ok.

Buda - things like different types of chemo, drug trials, etc etc - basically the options once someone's had surgery for cancer.

babystudy Mon 07-Sep-09 19:02:11

Hi all
I agree with what's been said so far - especially if it's been going on for a while. However, apart from changes around right now he may also be picking up anxiety/fear around from grown ups too? You may also be feeling especially tense right now and it's hard to cope with a diagnosis like that. I expect you are all feeling uncertain and may even want to throw some paint around yourselves?!I hope you are taking care of yourself too?

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