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Pooing in pants!!!! HELP

(12 Posts)
beccie261085 Wed 02-Sep-09 20:29:11

My daughter is 3 years old and has no problems being potty trained for a wee during the day... although she refuses to poo on the toilet or potty, she waits until the last second when she is actually pooing by then its too late and she has gone in her pants.... i know she needs one.. tried sitting her on the toilet she rufuses to go.... i have tried reward charts, prises, loads of praise if she does go on the toilet (only been twise so far). my son now 6 had no problems he even talks her through going to the toilet...i seem to have tried everything, i dont want to pressure her... but i am at my wits she pooed in the local supermarket half way through shopping. i just dont know what to do....can someone help me PLEASE?????

luckyJess Wed 02-Sep-09 21:40:19

I could have written your post. DD, 3.6 has only pooed in the potty a handful of times. She witholds and sometimes only goes once a week (she is on Sennacot for this). A few months ago we really tried to get her to use the potty or toliet, but she just witheld even more. So for now i dont care where she goes as as long as she does a poo. I keep a emergency clean up kit, spare knickers etc in my handbag. I will try to gently introduce the potty again if we can get her in a regular pattern.

Sorry I have no advise... just wanted to let you know your not alone. I also have 6 year old DS who takes her with him to the bathroom when he need a number 2!

2to3 Wed 02-Sep-09 22:04:33

Hi - my son pooed in his pants for at least six months after potty training, even though he had wees under control - including at night. What didn't help was me putting pressure on him out of pure frustration - that just made it worse.

What did help was the following:
- Investing in lots of cheap underpants which could be thrown away in a nappy bag when out and about.
- Bringing lots of spare pants, trousers, wipes and nappy bags when going out.
- Not making a big deal out of it - just saying 'oh well, nevermind, maybe the next one will be in the potty/loo.
- Buying a book about a boy who doesn't like pooing called "it hurts when I poop', available on Amazon. This was a major hit for us and has also helped people we know with similar problems.
- A reward chart with stickers next to the loo, where DS could get one for a wee, three for a poo.
- Making up funny stories about how Mr Poo wants to go and swim with his poo and wee friends in the toilet.
- Accepting that this is normal behaviour that affects lots and lots of families. Sadly, not many people talk about it, I suppose because it's not a very appetising subject wink.
- Holding on to the fact that _it will not go on forever_. My son finally took the plunge as it were, on his own initiative, and accidents are very rare now.

So, be patient, try not to worry or get angry, and keep a sense of humour. If she senses that it's not such a big deal anymore she might relax enough to get on with it by herself in not too long. Good luck!

mathanxiety Thu 03-Sep-09 15:47:04

I found the stories about poo needing to join all the other poos for a poo party helped one particular DD envision where the poo was going; apparently the child losing control of the poo's fate after it leaves the body is one aspect of this problem -- so having an idea that the poo had a pressing engagement elsewhere was a help. I also bought lots of underwear and threw out lots too, but took DD along to choose the new ones and mentioned how nice they were -- maybe this would be a bit too much pressure, though. As the problem wore off it became a point of pride for her that her undies were nice and clean.

LB1610 Thu 03-Sep-09 16:23:01

Hi guys .. am new to this so hope it's OK? I have 3 year old twin boys who we have been trying to potty train for a while now .. one is not interested and just wee's everywhere but will go first thing in the morning and whenever I take him ... just won't tell us he needs to go ... poo's are a no go too - he goes in his pants or pull up. Second one is great at going for a wee just about anywhere and is getting quite good at going for a poo at home but won't go at grandads when they look after him - he does it in his pants and today, first day back to playgroup, he poo'd and wee'd in his pants and had to have 2 changes of clothes. My dilemma is, do I put him in pull ups to go to playgroup tomorrow or just make sure I send loads of clothes? Has anyone else had problems with the 'pooing' side of things? It's driving us crazy !!

Dawnybabe Thu 03-Sep-09 16:40:39

My dd is 2.6 years and has no concern whatsoever for a toilet, yet three times now she has taken off her poo filled nappy and chucked poo about the place. I don't know whether this is an indication that she doesn't like the poo in her nappy or that she's being a little sod because she knows it gets her attention (I also now have a 3mo dd).

Aren't they lovely at that age? smile

melmog Thu 03-Sep-09 16:43:58

We've been going through this with dd1. She's just over three now. She's been on movicol for the last 6 months at least and still only goes every 3 days at most. During the lead up to a poo she 'stains' in her knickers and we have lost count of the knickers we have thrown out.

On a positive note, she does now poo on the toilet or the potty with just a little persuasion.

The softly softly approach definately worked with her. We had a bag of little trinkety presents and showed them to her, told her what they were for, then put them in sight but out of reach. We only mentioned them when she needed a little encouragement. Saying Mr Poo wants to go down the toilet and see his mummy and daddy in pooland helped too!

There is light at the end of the tunnel. I keep saying this as although she will go on the toilet, the lead up to it is still grim.

You have my sympathies!

2to3 Thu 03-Sep-09 22:28:16

LB - I have twin boys too and my other son hardly ever had accidents. They are just different. I tried to potty train them 3 or 4 times but ended up putting them back in nappies every time as they lost interest. In hindsight I think I confused things by reintroducing the nappy/pull-ups - it might have sent a message of why bother when we're going to get a nappy at the end of it anyway? I also think I started too early - first at 2 1/2, and finally we got there at 3.2. It's hard to gauge though - they seemed interested at first and then suddenly they weren't... It's a tough one. But at your stage it might be best to just stick with it and introduce smarties or another tiny treat for successful wees/poos. Bring lots of changes of clothes and tell nursery not to force him or make a big deal out of it if he wets/poos himself. Both of mine found it difficult to go at someone else's house, including their granddads where they stay every week, but it happened eventually. Highly recommend reading books about people pooing/poo in general - Everybody Poos is another good one. Or The mole who knew it was none of his business. Right, that's me pooed out for the evening - good night!

littlethings Sun 06-Sep-09 12:53:46

HI everyone, any advice on whether its really really bad to give up and go back to nappies?? DS is 2 yrs 10 months and we've so far had 6 weeks of constant accidents. He seemed to get it initially for wees but poos have always beena disaster (and he's a prolific, regular boy, urgh ...). This week he's regressed totally and I think he's rebelling or something, no matter how often we take him to the loo/potty he doesn't do anything then almost immediately after will have an accident. We've being giving chocolate buttons even for attempts now, and go out with all the spare clothes and pants etc but I'm a bit at my wit's end and am thinking of giving up for another couple of months. Any views? incidentally he goes to nursery 4 days/week and has just moved up to the pre-school room so that might be why he's regressed.

mimsum Sun 06-Sep-09 17:29:18

definitely give up for a while - take the pressure off both of you - we did this with ds1 - I was desperate to get him potty trained before ds2 was born, but after a month of disasters I gave up, put him back in nappies and when ds2 was a week old!! ds1 announced that he didn't want to wear nappies anymore - and that was it! When they're ready, the whole process is increcibly quick, if they're not it's just hideous for everyone concerned

mimsum Sun 06-Sep-09 17:29:38

incredibly even ...

longlady16 Sun 25-Sep-11 21:11:44

Thank goodness! Thought it was just us!! 3.4 yr old son fantastic at wees in toilet & potty just not getting the poos. Tried stickers, bribery, treats, cheers, cuddles, "potty camp" and nothing seems to be working. He knows he's doing them but it doesn't bother him. Trying not to make a big deal of it but suppose we've got hooked up on milestones. Going to try a different tack tomorrow. Thank you ladies - glad to know we're not the only ones.grin

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