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Please tell me it's a phase - my DD age 6 is driving us nuts with her attitude

(9 Posts)
VoluptuaGoodshag Wed 02-Sep-09 20:04:09

She used to be a child with a such a sunny disposition but now it's grumpy face and attitude all the time. In the morning she lies in her bed and shouts Muuuuuuuuuuuuuummyy and is in a foul mood. She grumps her way through the morning. I make light of it and am nice, encouraging but firm in that I let her know that I won't tolerate her bad attitude.

I pick her up from school, she runs to me for a kiss and then goes all grumpy again. If I say no or she doesn't get what she wants, gets told off or even just stubs her toe she stands and just yowls in such a bloody annoying manner. For this we send her to her room.

When DH comes home and goes into the living room and says 'hello princess have you got a kiss for Daddy' for his trouble he is met with a sulky face, a yowl and a hairbrush thrust in his face. She was sent to her room again for this and was very stubborn about apologising though she did it eventually.

I don't stand for it but it's wearing me out and spoiling my time with her. She is very competitive with her brother who is 4.5 but I always make sure they both get praised equally.


Bigboots Wed 02-Sep-09 20:49:01

Sounds a lot like my 6 year old DS! We do the bedroom thing too, but have wondered about ignoring the attitude (maybe an attention seeking thing?). Find it really hard to deal with, especially if we are doing something that is supposed to be nice, fun, together stuff (also have a 4 yr old DS). Was perversly glad to read your post as gives me hopes on the 'phase' theory... hmm

VoluptuaGoodshag Thu 03-Sep-09 20:48:24

Thanks Bigboots. It's especially hard as DS is all sweetness and light with nothing but big grins and giggles. It is perhaps this that is making her be the opposite but she is a clever wee thing and I'd hoped that she'd realise that by being nicer then it's nicer for everyone.

Sigh pours herself another glass of wine ...

danthe4th Thu 03-Sep-09 22:26:07

Why are you sending her away, she doesn't understand the way she feels, it is very wearing but will pass , just ignore it and tell her that you love it when shes happy and bubbly. Don't make the mistake I did by making everyone aware that the 4 year old is very cute and loveable as my 7 year old showed us with very loud irritating behaviour that she existed as well.
When daddy comes home I suggest you tell your daughter to show/tell him something that she has done well at school or whatever, rather than him insisting on a kiss,leave her to do it in her time and why should she apologise for not wanting to kiss, never ask a stubborn child to apologise if its going to be a battle it just ain't worth it, especially near bedtime.Perhaps she needs a little extra praise at the moment why does it have to be equal if she's having a tough time at the moment with her feelings. I may be way off the mark and if I am fair enough but try not to let it esculate into a battle ground as i've been there, and my dd is 12 and hitting the moody teens, great,lol.

piscesmoon Thu 03-Sep-09 22:31:40

I wouldn't send her to her room and make it into a battle. Ignore and distract as much as possible.

kreecherlivesupstairs Fri 04-Sep-09 07:48:00

I can confirm it doesn't get better. Our girl is sweetness and light but, in an instant can change into a nasty little whinger. Same thing as you after school, lovely kiss then big fat face scowls when told she can't have a cake/sweet/new toy.
Much wants more.

FernieB Fri 04-Sep-09 08:17:59

I agree with Kreecher! Both mine can be delightful and terrible in equal measures and flick from one state to the other instantly and without warning. I just clearly state that I won't respond to whinges and then retreat to the kitchen and clean something to keep me busy and help me to ignore them. On the plus side, my kitchen is lovely.

mrshibbins Fri 04-Sep-09 09:35:25

But just how much rudeness and bad behaviour DO you ignore before sanctions kick in? I am having real problems with (dd 8) who is becoming increasingly lippy and hostile and unpleasent and when we ignore it just seems to make her think she's got away with it and she does it more. I've sat down and had calm heart to hearts with her about it, lost my cool and read the riot act , bannned tv or nintendo as punishment but nothing seems to have any effect I just get shrugs or 'i don't care' or just withering evil glares or at the very best a sarcastic 'sorry' then 5 mins later she's queening about again as if nothing has happened.. I am exhausted it's a battle every day at the moment and I just don't like her right now

what can I do?

balijay Sun 06-Sep-09 11:14:54

mrshibbins I could have written that exact same post about my dd (6). She is incredibly rude and ungrateful and speaks to the rest of the family like something she has just scraped off her shoe. I just don't understand why she behaves like she does - her brother (10) wouldn't dream of speaking to her like she does. We also get the the shrugs, mimicking, and 'I don't care" and I don't feel like I should be trying to ignore this behaviour anymore.

After a horrendous day yesterday I am now going to remove her from the room (calmly)for a few minutes whenever she behaves like this - no warning (although I have explained to her what I am going to do). I'm going for a zero tolerance policy now as nothing else works. If I think her behaviour has been good enough I will let her choose treat (prob an outing) from my list at the weekend.
Does anyone else have any ideas?

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