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Really feels like DS is having wee/poo "accidents"; on purpose...

(15 Posts)
AnybodyHomeMcFly Wed 02-Sep-09 18:02:46

We have been toilet training DS (2.7) for a good couple of months. He is pretty good at nursery and often goes a whole day without any accidents. However when I have him, he will always do a wee when I take him to the toilet but will equally "happily" have an accident without even telling me.

He frequently poos his pants and today when we were out at the park he did a small one in his pants. I took him to the toilet, didn't tell him off but explained that poos live in the loo (again) to which he agreed, we changed his pants and trousers he had a wee and then literally five minutes later he pooed his pants again.

When we got home I really had to make him go for a wee even though he would obviously need one as it had been a long time. He did one in his potty but also weed all over the living room floor while I was out of the room and then when I went to get a cloth to clear that up he deliberately spilled my cup of tea.

I am getting so sick of dealing with sh*tty pants and it really feels like he's doing on purpose to wind me up. There is DD 5mo at home too so I dunno if he's feeling he needs to compete for attention?? None of my friends have had this problem, most kids seem to be potty trained in 4 weeks. AAARGH! Help!

CybilLiberty Wed 02-Sep-09 18:05:31

It doesn't sound like he's ready to me. Would a 2.7 yr old be capable of being that calculating?

AnybodyHomeMcFly Wed 02-Sep-09 18:06:51

But having started can I go back to nappies?? Nursery say he's doing really well, and so he is when he's with them!

mumofeve Wed 02-Sep-09 18:10:08

We had a big set back like this with DD about 3 months after (we thought) successful potty training. She was 2.6y at the time. It was much worse than the initial potty training, especially as I was 8mths pregnant. We had to start a reward chart, which worked after a few weeks. I have heard of quite a few people having such setbacks.

CybilLiberty Wed 02-Sep-09 18:10:27

But if he's still having accidents at nursery and it sounds like he is then I think you've got 2 options. You can either bite the bullet and wait out until he has no more accidents, deliberate or otherwise, or hold off for a couple of months and see how things are then. I would lean towards going back into have a young baby, and the mess clearly is extra work you don't need.

AnybodyHomeMcFly Wed 02-Sep-09 18:19:05

You could be right... worried about his pride getting hurt at nursery tho, he's a sensitive chap. Oh gawd, wish we'd never started.

notnowbernard Wed 02-Sep-09 18:24:59

He doesn't sound ready to me either (or more likely, he is ready in the sense that he does know how to use the toilet, but not consisitently so. And more importantly - IME - he doesn't care that he's inconsistent)

Which is your biggest battle, I think - a pre-schooler (and he is still little for PT) who is not bothered about being wet or dirty is going to be tres difficult to get consistently clean and dry

AnybodyHomeMcFly Wed 02-Sep-09 18:27:03

Yes, you're right, he really doesn't care, even in wet jeans (ugh!). Hmmm.

mathanxiety Wed 02-Sep-09 18:28:27

They have to care and be motivated.

AnybodyHomeMcFly Wed 02-Sep-09 18:36:56

Now he's just said I need a wee wee and gone off and done one in his potty. I'm very confused. Sigh.

notnowbernard Wed 02-Sep-09 18:39:37

I know this goes against MN PT wisdom but I'd stick him in a pull-up for a couple of months (or go bottomless when at home) and try again

The endless accidents get very wearing and it just becomes a battleground

notnowbernard Wed 02-Sep-09 18:39:56

Try again in a couple of months, I mean

AnybodyHomeMcFly Wed 02-Sep-09 18:41:56

Thanks NNB, that's exactly the conversation I've just had with DH and the decision we've come to.

notnowbernard Wed 02-Sep-09 18:44:27

Great, takes the pressure off all of you smile

It really is SO much easier leaving them to decide when to do it... Can you tell I've 'trained' one dc and left another to sort herself out?! Guess which method took 1 day and which one went on for-bloody-ever wink

AnybodyHomeMcFly Wed 02-Sep-09 18:46:11

Also he thinks of pull-ups as different from nappies so hopefully that will mean his male pride will be intact!

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