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4 week old DD2 cries unless picked up, me and 3 yrd old DD1 not impressed!

(16 Posts)
Ryn Wed 02-Sep-09 17:38:31

tried leaving her to see if settles but NO and crying starts to upset DD1.

just had to wash her bottles one handed (her in other)....typing this while she in other arm.

tips! PLEASE HELP!!!

DD1 was not like this, do i have naughty baby ?? hmm

SheWillBeLoved Wed 02-Sep-09 17:41:44

Try using a sling.

4 weeks old is still tiny, she isn't naughty, just adjusting to a world that is very different to the nice, warm, noisy womb she's has been tucked up in for the past 9 months.

SpawnChorus Wed 02-Sep-09 17:42:11

Not naughty at all! Perfectly normal behaviour for a little baby. Please don't ignore/leave her...she needs cuddles and reassurance. Remember that until 4 weeks ago she was permanently cuddled by your body.

Re: the practicalities, slings are fantastic. Babies usually love them and feel secure and settled, and they leave your hands free to get on with fun things like washing up wink

I'd particularly recommend a wrap sling like a Hugabub for the first few months.

SpawnChorus Wed 02-Sep-09 17:42:52

x-posts...I feel so redundant wink

spiderlight Wed 02-Sep-09 17:44:15

There's no such thing as a 'naughty' baby. I agree that a sling or wrap is well worth trying. I used a kari-me wrap for ages and my son loved it.

Ryn Wed 02-Sep-09 17:59:15

sorry ladies, my naughty baby comment was tongue in cheek!!!

right, i will get on ordering a sling.......are they easy to put on without DP assistance ???

my friend is a gina ford fanatic and thinks i am spoiling her picking her up! presume consensus is to ignore that comment ?

rachels103 Wed 02-Sep-09 18:08:38

Enlist visitors (who won't expect feeding / tidy house etc.) to coo over and hold the new baby only after having made a fuss of dd1, then use the time to play with dd1 / put the washing on / get the dinner ready etc.

My sister was very good at this. By 8 weeks ds2 is now happy to flap about under a playgym for half an hour, ds1 waves toys at him and it's all getting a little bit easier.

MmeLindt Wed 02-Sep-09 18:11:22

Don't worry, you are not going to spoil your baby, and you do not have a naughty baby

She is just very small and needs lots of cuddles.

Agree that getting visitors to cuddle baby for a wee while is great. And gives you time for DD1.

wonderingwondering Wed 02-Sep-09 18:20:37

You won't spoil a baby by making it feel secure. And a secure baby is much less hassle in the mid-to-long term, although it is hard to carry one around all day when you also have a toddler.

I also got a baby chair that vibrated, she seemed to like the jiggling, and also borrowed one of those swings. She's 2 now and still won't stay still!

wonderingwondering Wed 02-Sep-09 18:22:06

Sorry, Fisher Price swings... with the baby hammock swinging under an arch. Although DS used to keep switching it to the highest setting which was quite fast.

mathanxiety Wed 02-Sep-09 18:25:56

Spoiling a baby?? <<reeling around the floor with hands to temples trying to grasp the concept emoticon>> Do you mean that old chestnut is still doing the rounds?

Flibbertyjibbet Wed 02-Sep-09 18:39:10

My ds1 was a lovely baby who gurgled contentedly, slept a lot and didn't need picking up all the time. Of course I put it down to my superior parenting skills grin

Then I had ds2 who never napped, cried if he was put down, bf 24 hours a day..... yet I did all the same things I did with his brother!

The answer is that all babies are different and you've just got a 2nd one who is very different from your first.

Picking him up all the time certainly didn't spoil him, he is the most contented confident happy well behaved 3 year old around.

In fact sometimes I miss the times he wanted to be picked up all the time.... last week he went 'blurgh' and wiped a kiss of his face when I tried to cuddle him!!

DS1 would have been a perfect Gina Ford Routine baby and I'd have probably thought she was fab too. DS2 was NOT a routine baby so since I had him I have, er, changed my opinion of that author.

bethdivine Wed 02-Sep-09 18:48:18

pick her up pick her up pick her up smile

In a couple of years when she doesn't want to be picked up anymore you'll have all these times to think back fondly on!

She'll become more content and secure knowing if she calls for you you'll come, it won't spoil her at all. She'll soon be happy to sit for a few more minutes at a time in her chair or baby gym and the time will just get longer and longer, until you can actually get to the loo without her (just the other one following you then of course!)

What helped me in the early weeks with DD (now 20wks) was getting DS (2.5) to walk his dolly whenever I had to walk DD around. Luckily I'd got him one for his birthday as he'd seen his cousin with hers and loved her. So I'd be pacing the living room with DD and DS would be walking his dolly up and down - sometimes in pram, sometimes over his shoulder - he even used to insist I give him a muslin on his shoulder too!

ThingOne Wed 02-Sep-09 19:16:46

I would go for a sling too. Something like this would be easy to use and as pretty or cool as you like. They have a very good resale value as well. They're great for walks too.

And ignore your friend who thinks you're spoiling her! Or smile and nod wink.

Enjoy your cuddles!

Umlellala Wed 02-Sep-09 19:22:35

HIya, I found it helped to see it from my other child's perspective. She wanted me to pick him up and cuddle him when he cried for a second, I guess this is instinct, huh? Sometimes she'd say 'why is he crying mummy?' and actually, it helped me keep my cool and respond appropriately, having to explain to her - oh i don't know sweetheart, maybe he is hungry or needs a cuddle. Then I'd feed him/cuddle him!

Please cuddle, pick up, hold, reassure, feed - will help make your baby MORE secure and less clingy. A pouch sling totally saved me though!!

Congrats on your baby.

Ryn Wed 02-Sep-09 21:10:54

Thank you everyone! I feel so much better! It all makes perfect sense I guess the pressure to have tidy house, look great and have contented babies gets in the way of just loving your kids and sod the rest!

She will be hugged loads as will my DD1.


love all the ladies on here, much better than any useless book wink

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