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How do I get rid of dummy with 23 wk old? sorry long post.. Help needed from experienced muums!

(16 Posts)
Whiteybaby Sun 30-Aug-09 09:32:03

My pfb has always slept well and generally been quite chilled. She goes down well at about 7ish but usually falls asleep whilst bf. When she was younger she would fall asleep by herself if put down still awake after feed and would also fall asleep for her morning nap on her own. I have used a dummy intermittently for sleep / naps since she was about 5 wks but she seems to be relying more and more on it to get to sleep. I think she is teething (have posted on that too!) but am concerned that she is now waking up at 5am, will only sooth if given dummy (this can be repeated a couple of times if falls out) and then sleeps for at least another 1.5hrs / 2hrs. Also she has to have dummy for morning nap in cot, her other naps are usually in pram whilst out.
My question is how do you soothe a baby that is upset without using dummy etc? Really sorry if this is stupid but I have tried talking to her, stroking her head/face, patting but she just gets more upset. If I pick her up she stops instantly but howls as soon as put back down. I dont know what to do? Do i have to let her cry it out? Not sure I am ready for that yet sad but feel like we are going backwards!

allaboutme Sun 30-Aug-09 09:34:38

I'd let her keep the dummy tbh
Otherwise you'll either be spending a couple of hours trying to shhh and pat her to sleep at 5am or you'll be starting your day then instead!
If the dummy gives you an extra hour or twos sleep then keep hold of it!!!

Tee2072 Sun 30-Aug-09 09:35:11

She's so little, why deny her this bit of comfort? You can get orthodontic dummies if you are worried about her teeth.

MissisBoot Sun 30-Aug-09 09:36:10

Can I ask why you want to give up the dummy? Some babies are just sucky babies and like the comfort they get from sucking.

Whiteybaby Sun 30-Aug-09 09:58:22

I guess I feel like I am teaching her to rely on it? She wasn't very sucky before and used to spit dummy out. If she did spit it out I would leave her to it and she would fall asleep without. She did suck her thumb for a while but not very much and only when tired. Thats pretty much stopped now as well. The dummy is one of the orthodontic ones so its not really her teeth I am concened about. Just feels like I am teaching her bad habits?

CybilLiberty Sun 30-Aug-09 10:01:54

Let her keep the dummy. It realy isn't worth the hassle. When she's a bit older you can worry about weaning her off it then. All my 3 had dummies, got rid of them reasonably easily when they were about 1 I think. I think they are a godsend for sucky babies..

You may end up creating a different 'rod' for your back by having to keep soothing her off yourself.

piscesmoon Sun 30-Aug-09 10:12:48

I would let her keep it-as long as it only goes with sleeping and she never has it while awake. Wait until she is a bit older and explain that she is a big girl and doesn't need it-do something special to mark that she is older and then take it away.I would say that you could go another year or so-you may find she gives up anyway.

piscesmoon Sun 30-Aug-09 10:14:08

Sorry-I was reading it as 23 months! If only 23 weeks keep it-mine had thumbs and you can't take those away!

Whiteybaby Sun 30-Aug-09 10:22:20

Thanks all.. dummy rules..!

kreecherlivesupstairs Sun 30-Aug-09 20:16:32

OH, they do indeed. As our sainted paed in Muscat told me, you can take a dummy away, would you chop their thumb/finger off?

mathanxiety Sun 30-Aug-09 22:02:19

I would actually say take the dummy and let her find her thumb or fingers instead to suck. It really is a pain in the neck to have to get up to find the dummy for her. It will be hard for the first little while, but you could try putting her thumb or fingers in her mouth instead when she cries. I think babies really do become very dependent on the dummy -- my neighbour's DS has a fit if he can't find his, and sucks it all the time, awake or asleep, and he's 3 yo. They are regretting not doing the tough thing earlier and dealing with the crying or fussing. It gets harder to take it away as they grow older. My oldest DD sucked her thumb but gave it up when she was using her hands for playing, around 18 months. She had a 'lovey' for bedtime.

piscesmoon Mon 31-Aug-09 08:48:40

You can get rid of the dummy-DS3 was still sucking his thumb at 6yrs.

Whiteybaby Mon 31-Aug-09 08:54:11

I sucked my thumb and first finger for years and its still not quite recovered (more years than I care to count later grin). Amazingly enough she slept from 7.30pm till 7.15 this morning and has started putting her thumb in her mouth again this morning. DH said he noticed her doing it last night when he was getting her ready for bed. I think I might let her decide! I have tried getting her thumb to her mouth but she goes mad.. willful at 23 weeks hmm. Thanks for replies.. much appreciated!!

I would much rather have a dummy i can get rid of later, than a thumb sucker, not like you can chop it off

bitofadramaqueen Mon 31-Aug-09 09:46:07

It won't be long before she can put the dummy back in by herself which at least means you won't have to be up and down to put it back in. I think DS was around that age when I started putting a few dummies in the cot for him.

I was really worried about using a dummy, but tbh I realised there was no point stressing out about it. DS is 14 months and only has his dummy for sleep. The rest of the time it's kept well out of sight.

Cold turkey is supposed to be the best way to go if you really are determined to get rid of it. I think it usually takes 3 or 4 days to wean them off. I could never face the idea of 3 really hellish nights so I think we'll leave it until he's a bit older and can understand that he doesn't need it.

deaconblue Mon 31-Aug-09 11:22:52

go cold turkey, it's the only way. We did with dd when she was 12 months old and it took one tough night and we've never looked back. she was waking at least once a night and hasn't woken in the night since (4 months ago)!

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