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Please Help any advice greatly appreciated!!!

(11 Posts)
AnotherHelen Tue 31-May-05 11:55:19

Having BIG problems with ds1 he is 5 in August and his behavior is terrible! im beggining to think he must have some kind of split personality, i have been called into school with very concerned teachers a number of times and its always the same story - when he is good he is excellent, he's lovely caring xharing and top of his class - a very bright and clever little boy, but the for no apparent reason that i can see he will just wake up some days like a devil child! - he is horrific! We had to leave his little friends birthday party yesterday after just half an hour as he wouldnt participate in the games they were playing and decided to lay on the floor screaming instead, we ignored him (having been advised to if he misbehaves) and half an hour later he was still going strong - and spoiling the other kids fun so we got his stuff and left and he screamed and kicked and bit me and dp and our 2 year old son! - he screamed at the top of his voice all the way home and i felt myself coming very close to just wanting to really really smack him! I have tried talking to our health visitor and she has said really rudley over the phone that she has been to give me advice and if that doesnt work what else do i expect her to do? we have our 3rd baby due in september and im beggining to feel like i must be doing something wrong with him but im at my wits end! how can he change from such a great little boy to such a manic devil child? Sorry for the long rant! im just so tired and stressed out with it all i feel like the worst mother ever, and i cant face all those mums back at school after yesterdays performance! xxx

albert Tue 31-May-05 12:10:21

Oh AH, don't feel bad, all kids have a 'melt down' occasionally, some more than others admitedly. Could there be something triggering this behavoiur? Lack of sleep, something he ate? My DS (5) can turn into a total monster if he doesn't sleep enough. Must say, your hv doesn't sound much help I would at least expect some sympathy. I can't really be of much help either but just wanted you to know that you are not alone and it sounds to me as if you are doing exactly the right thing, hard though it is.

AnotherHelen Tue 31-May-05 12:40:15

Oh thankyou albert! i think my over-emotional pregnant mind doesnt help! i just sat sobbing into my cup of tea all last night! it does help to hear other people who have experience with naughty behavior or 'melt down' - LOL that describes it very well!! loosing my grip at the moment i think! xxxx

albert Tue 31-May-05 12:48:48

Don't cry AH, it happens to us all. Has DS seen you crying as a result of his behaviour? I must admit my DS has, not intentionaly, but the change in him and sympathy and apologiese were amazing, made me feel instantly better and guilty for getting angry with him. I'm sure this is pschologically (sp?) wrong but sometimes it just gets too much doesn't it?!

AnotherHelen Tue 31-May-05 13:00:12

Yes it really does i think yesterdays trauma was the worst yet and poor dp thinks our son is the biggest brat in the world! it was my mums birthday yesterday and my sister held a lovley bbq party in her garden and i had to go with my 2 year old on my own! - which only made me more depressed lol! ds was in bed when i got home so he never saw my upset but i think if he did he would be very sorry like you said, i firmly believe that i cant see the woods for the tree's anymore, but like you said it does happen to us all, its hard to remember that when you are at home with them all the time though isnt it?

shreek Tue 31-May-05 13:21:03

Dear All,

This is my first time on the discussion board, please can someone help!!!

I have a dd who is 7 weeks old and up until last week was in a very good Gina ford routine. We only started the routine at 3-4 weeks old but it worked straight away and hubby and I got our evenings back from 7pm onwards and i had time during the day to do stuff. HOWEVER, as mentioned, this all changed in the last week. The day time still seems to go well. She feeds every 3 hours and sleeps every two - only an hour each time and therfore only has 3 hours in the day. The problem is now the bedtime routine. I use to be able to bath, feed and then straight into moses basket by 6.45pm and she would sleep until i woke her for 10.30 feed.
Now when i put her in the basket she wakes and cries. i pick her up to feed abit more, put her down again, sometimes give her my finger to suck on - and this goes on. I am now having to put her on our bed and letting her suck my finger until she sleeps (she has her naps during the day on our bed). she is now going to sleep 8 - 8.30pm. THEN she woke up at 5pm this morning and didn't go back to sleep!!!

Please help - where has the routine gone wrong???

Sorry i have gone on - i hope it makes sense!!!

shreek Tue 31-May-05 13:22:11

whoops - sorry didn't mean to post my message on this thread!!!

SORRY! - I'm new to this!!

tiffini Tue 31-May-05 13:32:05


Believe it or not it really could be just lack of sleep.

My DS is 2 yrs, and he sleeps between 12 - 13hrs a night, and if for some reason he only sleeps 11hrs, he turns into the spawn of satan, but generally like your DS is is very well behaved.

tiffini Tue 31-May-05 13:32:50


Do you need some help starting a thread??

gallileo Tue 31-May-05 13:50:23

My DS aged 3 and a bit can be very Jekyll and Hyde, his 5 year old cousin is much much worse. I think this type of behaviour is always worse at events ike birthday parties, I am sure they pick up on our stress levels as we worry about their behaviour.
What you musn't do though is worry what the other mums think, all our children have tantrums and they aren't worth your friendship if they judge you for this. I have noticed this problem seems much worse with little boys, although my experience with girls a bit limited.
Lets hope they all grow out of it

AnotherHelen Sat 04-Jun-05 10:10:34

Thanks evryone! sorry i dissapeared for while there as my sister decided to have her baby the other day!!! its a really great help just hearing about all your kids and makes you realise that it is more normal than i think!
Gallileo - thanks your right about the other mums, i shouldnt be so sensitive i suppose, lets hope they do grow out of it! he has been a little bugger all week this week im glad he's back at school on monday as i think i may well consider selling him otherwise lol!! hmm im such a loving mother! xxx

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