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potty training gone wrong. Please help me!

(12 Posts)
Littlepurpleprincess Sat 29-Aug-09 13:04:14

DS is 3.2. He started potty training about 6 weeks ago. Within a couple weeks he was dry all day, doing great.

For the last week he's been doing EVERY wee on the floor. He's just stopped telling me.

It makes no sense. he was taking himself and doing great. He was getting loads of praise and really proud of himself.

I have no idea what triggered this but he looks smug when he goes on the floor. angry. SMUG?!

I don't want to give him attention for this but I find it hard to keep my temper. He is already quite a handful.

girlsyearapart Sat 29-Aug-09 13:16:21

Dd been doing potty training for nearly 3 weeks and had been doing really well then a few days ago she did 2 of each in her pants.V bad day.

Felt really disheartened as it had been going well. I just ignored it said nevermind where are you meant to go to poo/wee?

Next day all ok again. Apparently quite normal to have a regression.

Maybe looking smug as he realises its getting a rise out of you?

How about a sticker/reward chart?

Maybe he's lost interest now its not such a big deal to everyone anymore?

Littlepurpleprincess Sat 29-Aug-09 13:18:44

he gets a sticker everytime he goes on the loo. I'm mostly worried because it's lasting so long. It's been a week and it feels like it's getting worse, not better.

girlsyearapart Sat 29-Aug-09 13:26:10

My friend (a nanny) said when we started pt to give it a week then if it's a disaster put nappies back on for 2 weeks then start again.
But if you've been going for 6 weeks would be a major step back.
What does your ds say if you suggest nappies again?
Have the Gina Ford pt book somewhere i can look through that if you like?

Littlepurpleprincess Sat 29-Aug-09 14:02:09

Well, this is a little embarassing, but I'm a childminder, so I should really know how to deal with this.

I agree that if it's a disaster, you should go back to nappies but he has been successful for so long. I know he can do it.

I might go and ask the health visitor.

Thankyou for your help. X

girlsyearapart Sat 29-Aug-09 14:08:28

Always different when it's your own kids though!!
Just looked in the Gina Ford book and she says after age 3 they should be 'mildly chastised' but not punished for continual accidents and should have to deal with dirty pants like rinse them out and put them in the wash or in a bucket.
And also to re inforce how nice it is to have dry pants on.
Well thats what GF says..

Littlepurpleprincess Sat 29-Aug-09 14:20:14

I have tried all the nice softly softly approach. Your not supposed to tell them off or put them down, but tbh, thats crap. It doesn't work. He's just getting away with it,so I agree with Gina Ford there, he should be told it's not ok to wee on my sofa!

girlsyearapart Sat 29-Aug-09 19:19:45

She also says to let them put the potty where they choose (within reason I guess..) and not to give too many reminders. Anyway hope things improve!

slowreadingprogress Sat 29-Aug-09 19:47:45

I wonder if it's an attention thing. He got LOADS of praise and attention while he was learning to use the potty etc, but I would imagine after 6 weeks you've probably, understandably, been giving slightly less over the top praise? He sounds like he's realised he gets just as much attention if he uses the floor instead - seems logical to use the very thing he's been praised for, to get more attention even if it's negative. He's realised he can control your responses with his bodily functions perhaps?!?!

Personally I would give zero attention to it (for a period of time you choose, say one more week) and give positive attention to when he sits on the loo. If that didn't work I'd go back to nappies tbh.

ebayqueen Mon 31-Aug-09 14:32:15

I have exactly the same problem. DS went into pants on his 3rd birthday - mid July(after many failed attempts from 2.5). Within a week he was perfect, all wees and poos on the toilet and he was dry at night too. For the last week he has done pretty much everything in his pants or on the floor. I have tried to be calm, ignore etc. but I just can't keep it together and I know I am making it worse. I think he's doing it to get a rise (he also looks smug). I have a 14 month old daughter who is using the potty too and I wonder if this has something to do with it.
It is soooo frustrating, he's going back to playgroup next week and I do not want to put him back in pull ups which is what they will want - I'd rather take him out of Playgroup then go through all this from the begining again!
I'm just going to take a deep breath and try and ride it out, ignore as much as poss and praise my ds as much as I can, maybe he'll get bored then and start going again.....

purepurple Mon 31-Aug-09 14:48:15

As a nursery nurse, I feel like I have been potty training half my life!
Some children do really well at first, then have a major setback.
I put it down to the leap between going when they are told to and going when they recognise they need to.
Does that make sense?
It's a big step to take. We remind them to go every 3o mins or whatever and when they get good, we start to rely on them telling us when they need to go.
Accidents are bound to happen.
Also, they get used to the feeling of being able to hold it in, and sometimes they just mis-judge it.
It just takes a bit of patience and time.

Littlepurpleprincess Mon 31-Aug-09 14:48:36

DS starts play school next monday! Your playgroup cannot, and should know better than to push you into putting pull ups on him. I have worked in nurseries and pre-schools and this is not the done thing, so put your foot down, they are out of line if thats what they suggest.

I am however worried about DS at pre-school, how will he manage?

I'm going for the ignore tactic as well now. When he wees on the floor he gets no eye-contact, no conversation, nothing. Hope it works.

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