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My 5 year old son - a bit worried about him

(7 Posts)
2babyblues Fri 28-Aug-09 16:21:24

Hello,

I am not quite sure how to explain this but since my eldest son was first born I was paranoid that he would have aspergers syndrome as my brother does. I have always been looking out for signs and when he had delayed speech I got more worried. He started to speak fine when he got to 3 and a half and I was so relieved.

But while he doesn't seem to show typical signs of aspergers I am worried about a few things:

He always talks really loudly (he's not got hearing problems).

He is always trying to get heard and has started to have a stammer and he has been referred for speech therapy. He always seems really in your face when he is trying to talk to anyone.

He is really sensitive and cries in a really over the top way when anything doesn't go quite his way.

He is obsessive about things and will ask me a question and then just go on and on about it even though I have answered his question.

The teacher was worried about him dealing with the change of class and they really made a great fuss of him to help him deal with it!

A few of my friends have seemed a bit shocked at the way he goes on and on about stuff obsessively. For instance he will ask for something and when I say no he just goes on and on and on, even though I don't give in. Or yesterday he wanted ice cream at the beach and I said we could buy one on the walk back and then all afternoon literally he was saying 'can we go now'!

When writing it down it doesn't look like much to worry about I know but he just seems different to other children of his age. They always seem really quiet and easy going compared to him. He is not naughty and is very sensible and rule abiding. But he is very demanding though and has only just started spending small amounts of time alone in his room before that he was at my ankles wherever I was in the house. He also talks none stop and does seem particularly friendly to adults though he does have friends his own age. He is really interested in things like space and medical stuff in a very intellectual way and I have trouble answering a lot of the questions!!! He is very loving and cuddly.

When compared to his little brother they seem so different. His little brother just seems to be so much more easy going and everything seems to come easily to him.

Not sure this makes much sense at all but just was wondering what anyone thought?

FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite Fri 28-Aug-09 16:33:21

You know the lovely quiet children you see, the ones that make you envy, we don't all have one of these. They come out and no one has an idea what they will be like, some cry none stop, some sleep alot. As they grow we either get a quiet one or one that is destined to be on the stage when they are older as they are loud, in everyone's face and drive their parents bonkers. They will make them proud though.
I have an incredibly bright boy aswell, he needs reasons for everything as this is how his brain works, your son sounds the same as my son, they are draining emotionally as they are on the go all the time, questions, arguments, you name it, it's not easy.
Teach your son how to tell the time, give him a watch, tell him that at 2pm you'll take him for that ice cream, not before, tell him to keep checking the watch (it'll keep him busy). A drama club is a good idea. He goes on obsessivly because he's making sure you understand, you need to teach him that you are a person aswell and that you may not enjoy the same things as him.
My son stammered aswell, he was 4, he'd been shouted at and mistreated at nursery and thought that no one was listening to him, he was in such a hurry to talk to someone he couldn't get the words out. Be patient with him and listen. He'll carry on asking for something because he's trying to get you to change your mind (I've had this aswell), stay firm, just say it makes you cross when he continues to ask, if you say no once then you really mean no, then refuse to talk to him about this, try changing the subject or turn around, withdrawing your attention, turn back when he's stopped.
The oversensitive thing is his way of showing you he's pissed off, encourage him to talk about it and see the other side of the coin if you know what I mean.

2babyblues Fri 28-Aug-09 16:40:01

Thanks for your reply. They do sound quite similar!! It's funny you said about drama as I am looking for a class for him at the moment as I thought it may be a good outlet for him!!! The watch is a good idea too, he has one but I need to replace the battery!! I don't think there is anything wrong at school as he is quite quick to say if there is a problem and he seems to have the teachers wrapped round his finger!

FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite Fri 28-Aug-09 16:51:26

Ah, watch the school. We've had a really bad run of teachers and heads that have taken an instant dislike to ds and have made life really miserable in their attempts to make him fit in. It doesn't happen, it just makes him miserable. I don't know what school he's going to next week, he's been bullied in his current school so we planned to move him to a more tolerant, private school until they recieved the current school's reference, I'm in the process of begging for a place and am waiting for the head to call me back. He's a lovely boy, he's grown to be really caring, helpful and considerate, he's incredibly bright and will ask questions that really do stop and make you think in a positive "I never thought of that" way. He's a joy. He's had so many people tell him off and speak to him abruptly he now speaks to people this way, which causes me a real headache, he is a firm believer in equality, you can see it in his face when he's annoyed because a teacher is trying to belittle him. He's the sort of child that you either love or hate, he is loud, will crack a joke or laugh at the smallest of thing because he's really quick. The teachers will come and go, things do get better as they are older, the best thing I did for ds was teach him to read, he used to take a joke book everywhere which was great as it changed the attention he was recieving into something positive, he could also 'entertain' people who overheard his jokes and ment that it was a bit nicer when we went out.
I was recommended a book on here called the written rules of friendship which helped him at school (with the other children). He's really brigt, well read so his speech isn't that of a child his own age, he was thought of as odd, he's an only child aswell so not use to rules around playing/social ettiquite so this really helped him.
Watch out for the school, there are alot of teachers and children that are not tolerant of children like this.

2babyblues Fri 28-Aug-09 17:00:19

Best of luck with the new school. It is hard always worrying about children! Your son sounds lovely.

I will keep an eye on the school too.

xxx

FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite Fri 28-Aug-09 17:05:32

If I can help in any way, please seek me out. As I said, reading is a really useful thing. I wouldn't worry about the aspergers, it seems to me as if you are looking for this as his brother has it, I think we all have traits in ourselves if we look hard enough. There is something called a Non verbal learning disability (NVLD)it might be worthwhile you looking into though.

FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite Fri 28-Aug-09 17:08:23

Sorry, I mean as your brother has this. blush

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