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help,getting really concerned about 3 year old DS behaviour

(12 Posts)
pramsgalore4 Thu 27-Aug-09 22:05:58

i am getting very concerned about my 3 year olds behaviour and don't know what to do or if its just what boys do. I have 3 dd as well, he will be 4 in may, i can not get him potty trained, he wears pants allday but wets and poos them all the time, he will go toliet but only when it suits him. He is not very good at talking and is difficult to understand has only just said mummy he does talk but does not sound the letters properly,somethings he can say really clearly but not many, he chews everything and i mean everything including electric leads! he does not play nicely and spoils games, throws things, bites, punches, throws food. At nursery he just runs about, he still has to be on reins as he will run off and run into roads, he never seems to stop, he has tantrums, i struggle to get him to sit in a pushchair he just climbs out, the list goes on. i keep thinking oh hes a boy thats what boys do! is it? any advise would be great. many thanks

LightningBolt Thu 27-Aug-09 22:12:22

If you are worried I would contact your GP and get him referred to a paediatrician for assessment.If it is a speech issue it may be that he is getting frustrated by not making himself understood.

I have a child with sn who has speech issues who gets very frustrated at times and this can be reflected behaviour wise.

Pandoraneedsbugs Thu 27-Aug-09 22:15:37

Hi pramsgalore
What do the staff at the nursery think?
How does he get on there?

I would go to gp and get a referral as lightening bolt suggested - it cant do any harm

lingle Thu 27-Aug-09 22:27:22

Hi prams,

Another lady started this thread today and I replied

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/814488-4-year-old-with-sleep-issues-amp-developement

There are some similarities as you will see if you read the thread.

I would back off on the wees and poos. Put him in pull-ups or back in nappies. Some boys aren't ready till closer to 4. Put the whole toilet thing right at the bottom of your priority list. The other things you describe are more important.

BoysAreLikeDogs Thu 27-Aug-09 22:35:05

get hearing test, too

good luck

pramsgalore4 Thu 27-Aug-09 22:37:11

His health visitor knows his speech is bad and while he was having his i think it was his 2 year assesment said is he always like this ie running and climbing, she sent him for a hearing test which she was present at, ( by which time he had started nursery and was trying to say a few more words but not properly ) she just said hes not deaf, his speech will get better, then a few weeks ago i left a message with another health visitor saying i was concerned and have not got any response, they are not interested. I am worried that when he starts school things will just get worse, he starts sept 2010. I thought you had to go through your health visitor for things like this, its as if they are scared to say yes he needs help, i know his speech would be delayed as he choked as a baby ( 2 weeks old ) and stopped breathing only for seconds but did it 3 times on the trot one panic 999 call made, they think as a result of this,when older he choked and was sick when given lumpy food and so was on smooth food until just over a year, when finnally he decided he would eat lumps with out being sick, again had to show health visitor what he did when eating slightly lumpy food, she did not know what to do and i was left to deal with this on my own, and yet again no help.

BoysAreLikeDogs Thu 27-Aug-09 22:42:55

go to doctor, bypass HV smile

3cutedarlings Thu 27-Aug-09 22:55:26

Agree with BALD go straight to the GP, ask to referred to a developmental pead, most GP will refer to the community pead first off but speaking from experience you are better seeing a developmental pead. In some areas you can actually self refer for speech and language therapy so i could be worth you finding out about the also, you pre school should be able to refer for SALT to.

pramsgalore4 Thu 27-Aug-09 22:58:10

Will make an appointment for Gp and see what he says, he used to go to a small nursery and the teacher used to say he doesn't walk he bounces all the time, the small nursery got mixed up into a larger nursery and it is just kids running about everywhere so he blends in, although sports day i was watching him sitting ( well he was standing) with the nursery and he was the only one trying to sneak off, he just would not sit down, he managed to get down onto the play ground before he was spotted and called back ( he ignored them at first ), he is very sneaky, but i did think its not just me he does it to, bless him!

brooklynsmum Thu 27-Aug-09 23:20:12

Hello, my DS is 23 months and a real joy but he too wants to bite everything, wood leads anything really. His CP leaves unable to sit or walk and the frustration is starting to show. We have fibre optic lighting for him and a bubble tube. Light therepy really calms him down and the difference iis noticeable. We are currently at my mums 250 miles away so he is without his bits and both myself and my partner look like we have been in a scrap with eachother! When actually its our little Brooklyn, he tears our faces to shreads when the frustration hits. If i make a loud noise and shout owww he just cries and says NO NO NO. He knows its wrong and he knows he has hurt me but he doesnt seem able to control it. We are going to tackle the problem with our Physio and OT when we get home.
I think sometimes children with SN find it so hard to express themselves they just dont know what to do.
Carrie x

brooklynsmum Thu 27-Aug-09 23:23:27

I agree. See your GP or social worker if you have one. The Health Visitors are not always anygood. Our son is 23 months and we still dont have one!
However, the team we have now of OT, physio therepists, social workers etc have been like Guardian Angels, so there is hope out there.
Carrie x

pramsgalore4 Thu 27-Aug-09 23:39:14

My health visitor is useless, when i get back off holiday i am going to see my gp and hopefully he will get the help he needs, i will also talk to his nursery when he goes back and see what they think, although the health visitor that is attached to the nursery is his useless health visitor. she seems to get everywhere, shes probably not interested because she is too busy doing everything else outside her clinics

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