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Is 2 too soon to learn 'sorry'?

(14 Posts)
howdidthishappenthen Mon 24-Aug-09 13:56:54

Mt 2yr old (just i.e 24 months) is a great talker & learned the word 'sorry' months ago (although not in context), so when he leapt on my from a height yesterday and hurt me, I thought now was the time to ask for an apology. 15 mins of 'please say sorry to mummy. When you hurt someone, you say sorry' on repeat, lots of furious wriggling and some tears later, I got my 'sorry mummy'. DH thought I was being unduly tough to insist. When did your DCs learn about saying sorry? Is two plenty old enough and I should persist?

samsonthecat Mon 24-Aug-09 13:59:12

No its not too young. My DD2 is 2 and she will say sorry if she hurts someone.

crokky Mon 24-Aug-09 13:59:59

I would have thought after 15 minutes, he might be struggling to remember the facts of the incident (due to his emotional state). Personally, my DS understood to say sorry when he was just 3. He wouldn't have been able to do it at 24m, but then his speech and understanding are a little delayed. Now, at 3.5 he always says sorry if he has accidentally hurt someone or done something naughty.

whingingDailyHateMail Mon 24-Aug-09 14:02:13

My dd is 2y5mo and she says sorry, eg if she steps on your toe. Says Sorry mama, and rubs it better! Ddefinately not too young to demonstrate that saying sorry is the way to go, IYKWIM.

millenniumfalcon Mon 24-Aug-09 14:02:44

certainly not too young to say it, but probably too young to mean it imho. my 2 year old is good at saying it, but i certainly wouldn't ever insist on her saying it, but she's keen because she sees it as some kind of get out - she thinks saying sorry afterwards means she can do whatever she likes grin the main thing is we have a sanction (removing from the situation) irrespective of what she says.

kitesarefun Mon 24-Aug-09 14:03:09

IME 2 isn't too young. But forcing / nagging them to say sorry isn't going to work. I accept a hug or kiss as a 'sorry' as DD won't always say the word but will offer a hug instead. And I don't press it, if she won't say it I move on.

bratley Mon 24-Aug-09 14:03:56

No not too young at all. My DS is 2 years and 2weeks old and he says 'sorry' in context and we have sat him on a chair/step/wherever and talked to him about saying sorry if you hurt someone when we've needed to.
He also says 'please' and 'thankyou' in context too.
Don't see anything wrong with starting manners early! smile

And well done for perservering with it! Its not easy! grin

BornToFolk Mon 24-Aug-09 14:05:21

I agree. 2 is not too young to ask/encourage them to say it but forcing them to is not on.

stealthsquiggle Mon 24-Aug-09 14:06:18

Nope. Not too young. By 24mths DD knew what sorry meant and would refuse to say it to DS on occasion. On one particularly memorable occasion it took 45mins to get her to back down and apologise for smacking him over the head with a wooden building block. Unfortunately we were at my parents' house at the time blush.

We have now progressed to insisting on meaning sorry as opposed to a teenager-style sorreeeeee hmm

MmeLindt Mon 24-Aug-09 14:09:39

She is not to young for you to tell her she should say sorry, but too young to force her.

I always said that there is no point in saying sorry if they don't mean it, or don't understand it. Otherwise it is just said but not meant.

By about 2.5 - 3yo DC learn empathy and will feel sorry and also say it.

MrsBadger Mon 24-Aug-09 14:10:09

absolutely not too soon

dd (2 last week) does a good line in 'sorry' accompanied by a cuddle or face rub (you know, that not-quite-kiss toddlers do) and has been for the last 4-5m.

agree 15min of demanding an apology may be counter-productive though

RhinestoneCowgirl Mon 24-Aug-09 14:10:59

Can't remember when we started with sorry, but don't think 2 is too young. I also try and say sorry to DS (3) if I've done something wrong/accidentally trodden on his toe etc so that he gets the idea of context. He definitely knows the concept now, but doesn't always want to say it (particularly if there's been an incident involving bashing his baby sister...)

howdidthishappenthen Mon 24-Aug-09 14:14:10

We got a very nice (and almost spontaneous) 'sorry' to the cat today after an unfortunate iggle-piggle assault, so I think some of it is sinking in. I'll just try consistent reminders for a month or two more, without pressing it too hard, and see if we get there the nice way. Thanks for your views everyone.

wasabipeanut Mon 24-Aug-09 14:15:35

Am deciding strategy on this at the mo - DS just coming up for 2. I think that DS is too young to understand what sorry really means so I don't insist on him saying it. I do ask him to say sorry though when he has done something wrong or hurtful and settle for a hug/kiss etc.

I know someone who put her kid (about 3 months older than DS) on the naughty step for an hour and a half because he wouldn't say sorry for something. I thought that was a bit much frankly.

AS DS gets older I don't want him to see "sorry" as a get out clause for any poor behaviour. Frankly I am more concerned about teaching him consequences.

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