At my wits' end with DD's behaviour - any advice, please?

[Fruitbeard]

DD is 4.6

Normally she is relatively well behaved, she will have the odd strop but is a generally a 'nice' little girl who is a pleasure to be around.

However, ever since we came back from holiday she has been absolutely horrible! And (it pains me to admit this about my own child), she really is not a nice person to know at the moment and I am horrified by the way she is behaving.

She has lost all her manners, flies into rages for no apparent reason, seems to be permanently angry, doesn't care if she gets told off, in fact it makes her angrier, has been hitting other children (hitting/smacking is a HUGE no-no in our house and she hasn't done this since she was about 2), threatening to hit me/DH, tells us she hates us, shouts and screams and is constantly lying (my pet hate) about really obvious stuff. Oh, and she's started wetting her bed again too after nearly a year of being dry.

If something is wrong (and reading this back it certainly sounds like something is underlying all this), she won't talk about it. Just keeps saying (angrily) 'it doesn't matter' when we try to find out what's the cause of this behaviour.

I don't smack, I use the 1,2,3 followed by a consequence thing (generally being sent to bed/being taken away from the activity/no telly) and normally never get beyond 2, so I'm kind of freaked out by this sudden complete lack of regard for what I or DH say to her.

She's supposed to be going to a friend's house for 3 days next week while I'm at work (she's been at her school's holiday club for the last 3 weeks) and I'm dreading it because she's hit this friend's DD several times in the last week and called her horrible names (I've witnessed it) and generally been vile - I have to work those days, there is no way I can't, so if this arrangement falls down I'm stuffed, but I don't see why my friend (and her DD) should be subjected to DD's bad behaviour either iyswim...

I keep telling myself it's probably a phase, but am feeling utterly crap about my parenting ability and would love some advice/commiserations from anyone else who's been through this.

Thanks

[madwomanintheattic]

is she starting school this time? is she starting to get the willies about it, knowing the holidays are coming to an end and can see a big change looming?

chances are she'll be an angel with anyone but you, so try not to panic. nothing helpful to add really - sorry!

[Fruitbeard]

Thanks for replying, madwoman

She started school last year in the Nursery but will be starting Reception in September iyswim.

I was wondering if being at the holiday club straight after our 2 weeks away was unsettling her/change of routine etc., but she seemed to love it and was genuinely upset today when it was the last day of it.

She has been very tired in the evenings after holiday club, but the stroppiness goes on all day every day and at the weekend too, so I'm not certain if it's linked to that...

Ah well. Off to bed to sleep on it and see if tomorrow's any better!

[madwomanintheattic]

'night! tomorrow's another day and all that...

[purepurple]

Fruitbeard, you have just described most of the children in my pre-school class!
I don't know why, but they all seem to turn into complete monsters those couple of months before they start big school.
I suppose they are worried about the change to school. After all, we have been banging on about it for eons and they don't really have any idea of what it will be like, They are bound to be feeling a bit over-whelmed and this normally shows in their behaviour.
I am sure she will settle down once she gets into school.

[Fruitbeard]

Thank you guys

As it happens we spent the day with another friend and her little girl yesterday and they played together so beautifully I'm wondering if it's the holiday club atmosphere that's been unsettling her... She's also been lovely again today.

Just have to see what happens next week now, I suppose!