am i wrong letting 8 yr old SD down the lane on her own?

[mrshibbins]

we live in a very quiet and peaceful spot in the country, she is well trained in road safety and what to do if a stranger stops to talk to her (we do role play in it every few weeks to reinforce)

i am a great advocate of getting her to be self-sufficient, self-reliant and confident. for the last 6 months i have let her play down the lane on her own, so long as she doesn't stray past points x and y and so long as she tells me where she is going.

she has a friend the same age who lives around 300 yards away, on the same quiet lane. she doesn't even need to cross the lane to get there.

if she is going round there to play i just let her go on her own, but when it is time for her to come back, she is always escorted by her friend's parent/s, who always have a pursed mouthed disapproving face on ...

i'm sure that they think i am slack and irresponsible ...

views anyone?

[bigchris]

sounds fine to me
you know her better than the other parents do
you might be imagining their disapproval though - it's a different thing for them letting her walk back to yours alone, you might be out for all they know. Why dont you chat to them about it?

[drosophila]

Each to their own. I am a bit overprotective so I probably would escort too but that is based on a child who is a bit hyper and silly.

[mrshibbins]

well, they know i'm in, i work from home - i'm always to be found in the office round the back of the house. i just tell her make sure she is back at 5.30 for her tea

what age have other mum's judged their LOs old enough to go down the road on their own?

[cornsillk]

I have just started letting my 8 year old out as hos friend down the road(also 8) plays out and calls for him. He would be gutted if I said no. I don't really like it though as he is a typical boy and can be a bit reckless. But if you think your dd is ready then that's fine.

[florence2511]

I would say continue to let her walk unaccompanied to her friends house. It isn't very far away and it's a great way for her to build up her confidence/independence. She'll thank you in the long run for not being an overprotective Mother and for letting her do things on her own.

Don't worry about what the other parents think (if they even do feel that you are iresponsible. Of this you can't be certain) as it's none of their business. Only you know your child and know what their capabilities and limits are.

If your child is happy to go alone then that should be enough for you.

[generalunrest]

It could be that while your DD is playing at their house, your DD's friends parents feel they're responsible for her and aren't comfortable taking the decision to let her go back on her own? If anything happened to your daughter they would feel guilty and responsible, and so are just making the choice from their own point of view, and are not necessarily being disapproving of your choice at all.

Like the others have said, you know when your daughter is ready for this independence, and perhaps they don't feel their daughter is, but that's no slur on you.