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**WHY** don't people understand that my dd is in a Major buggy for a reason????

(23 Posts)
weegiemum Fri 14-Aug-09 23:11:14

I am pretty kacked off about this today - have held it in till now but can't sleep for being angry!!!!

My d2, who is 5, has a degenerative but mercifully self-limiting hip condition (Perthes Disease). For the last 18 moths she has been in a wheelchair at school, and when we go to the shops, or indeed out anywhere, she uses a Maclaren Major (sometimes folk refer to it as a "disabled buggy").

Today we went out to the local supermarket - 5 mins walk to Morrisons, we go there a lot, and in fact dd2 loves it as the checkout supervisor through the day has a brother who had the same condition as a child and always asks her how her hip is and how she is doing .... (we got into a convo just after she was diagnosed and this woman has always been brilliant with dd2).

But on the way ....

A workman driving up our street rolled down his window and shouted "hey, lazy, get up and walk". I just waited till he stopped at the junction and saif "my daughter is disabled" - and he apologised.

Then - at the pedestrian crossing just up the road, there were 2 old ladies, one of whom brought out the mantra I am now used to - -- "you would think a child of that age should be walking!"

Dd2 piped up herself then "I've got Perthes disease, I'm not allowed to walk or run or hop or skip or jump at all till the doctor tells me".

The old bat woman just gave her a funny look and walked off. Dd2 (bless her) shouted "didn't you hear me?" after the old bat dear.

I take my hat off to the parents who deal with this every day, forever, because their children have permanent mobility problems - you are all stars! Hopefully next month dd2 will be given the all clear and be free of mobility aids.

But if I don't kill someone with my bare hands before then, it will be a miracle!!!

differentID Fri 14-Aug-09 23:12:31

well done your dd for defending herself.

TheDMHatesMe Fri 14-Aug-09 23:14:36

God, people are rude, interfering knobends sometimes aren't they? I hope that van driver was mortified.

Your DD sounds great - I love the idea of her shouting after the old lady. smile

Fingers crossed for you both next month.

weegiemum Fri 14-Aug-09 23:14:49

I know I am so proud of her.

Wish she had yelled "why do you need a walking stick" as well.

But that would have been petty!

OldDoe Fri 14-Aug-09 23:16:35

Gawd, I just don't understand how people can be so in your face rude! D'you know what? It wouldn't enter my head to say anything like that to anyone - ever!

Weegie, I'd be mad as hell too but please, please, please recognise that those stupid half-wits make up less than one percent of all the other people you and your DD must have seen/passed today. The other 99% said nowt hey?!

Don't let thicko's like this get to you.

weegiemum Fri 14-Aug-09 23:20:59

I know! After 18 months of it I am getting a bit hacked off though - hence my admiration for those who do it forever ....

My nice convo with the nice Morrisons lady helped a bit - dd loves her!

Was actually thinking of writing to Morrisons HQ to compliment her as she has been a real support to dd (and therefore me) for the last year and a half!

anonandlikeit Fri 14-Aug-09 23:23:06

hi weegie. my ds2 has CP & uses a wheelchair for distance, a wheelchair is much more obvious but when we used a major buggy we did get a few strange looks & the odd comment, but as Olddoe says the vast majority of people are kind & helpful.
Hopefully your dd will be up & about soon.

weegiemum Fri 14-Aug-09 23:28:42

I tried with the wheelchair but found it hard to manouver! (spelling!!!!)

Anyway, she has one mobility aid in school (wheelchair, which she can manage herself around the classroom etc) and a buggy for at home. She's only 5 and small for her age (due to the delayed bone age found with her condition - she's 5y9m, her bones only come out at 4y6m!!)

What I don't get is why can't folk just keep their judgey judgeypants mouths shut?

13lucky Sat 15-Aug-09 10:24:35

I completely agree with you - totally out of order. I've experienced a similar thing (on a smaller scale than you) and it is annoying. My 3 year old has problems with her ankles and is generally ok but it's too much for her to walk 1 mile to the park, play and walk 1 mile back so we take the double buggy in case her ankles play up....and the grief people have given me for that!! So I sympathise and guess you have to just ignore the ignorant comments (difficult I know!!)

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad Sat 15-Aug-09 10:38:13

I got into a conversation with someone I know about this. He said, "It really annoys me when I see older kids in buggies. I know someone whose 8 yr old is in a buggy!" I said, "How do you know they're not autistic - or have other behavioural issues, or they might have mobility issues." Cue much open and shut fish mouth action. Idiot.

Well done to your dd for sticking up for herself. Unfortunately a lot of people - especially older people -don't understand disabilities and can be very judgemental. And stupid. They deserve our pity.

Sidge Sat 15-Aug-09 12:44:13

I totally understand.

DD2 (age 5.5) has a Major as she has a rare genetic disorder and is disabled; she can walk but has hypotonia (low tone), tires easily and the distance she can walk varies. Some days she can walk a fair bit, other days very little, but then when she can't walk any more she just stops and can't go again! So that's when she climbs in the Major.

We haven't had many out-loud comments but have heard a few sarky under-the-breath ones. My response to the latest "that child shouldn't still be in a pushchair!" was me saying (in a completely over the top fashion) "I KNOW! I can't wait for her to get her wheelchair as it will be so much more comfortable for her as she's getting far too big for this disability pushchair..."

Cue the woman blushing and scurrying away. grin

StayFrostyBoobNazisCureCancer Sat 15-Aug-09 12:53:57

Ugh.

This is why I hate people.

I think it is a great idea writing to Morrisons about the woman who's dead nice, I bet they hardly ever get good feedback. Spread some love.

weegiemum Sat 15-Aug-09 13:02:10

Its understanding why people feel the need to comment.

Its pretty obviously a SN buggy (not a wheelchair, but massive compared to most buggies and high off the ground) and people still feel the need to comment.

And in the fab way that people do - not to her, to me. She hates that - once she said "mum, I can hear what people say about me!"

littleducks Sat 15-Aug-09 13:21:52

I would recognise a major buggy as a sn buggy but many people wouldnt, dh for example would just think it was a buggy.

So some people may not realise but as to the commenting, I cant understand why anyone would feel the need to comment on achild in a pushchair when they are too old, whatever they privately think to say anything out loud is very rude

cornsillk Sat 15-Aug-09 13:26:03

Yay for weegie's dd - what a star!

weegiemum Sat 15-Aug-09 14:55:47

dd2 is certainly shaping up to be just as lippy and chippy as me! Hoooray!

sooey76 Tue 18-Aug-09 08:59:01

My 4 year old son broke his leg 12 weeks ago, it was quite a bad break, needing surgery and a fixator, then plaster for 6 weeks. We had a wheelchair but that went back just before the plaster was removed. With the plaster on he was fine walking, now he walks funny and can't walk far. I've often thought about putting him in a buggy, but am worried about people like you've just described having a go, he is nearly 5 and tall for his age plus there is no visible injury- just scars where the pins were but he likes them covered up!. Good on you for standing up to them!

weegiemum Tue 18-Aug-09 09:11:30

sooey - your poor ds, sounds awful.

I presume he is having some follow-up/physio. Maybe you could ask them about what to do about his mobility if he isn't coping too well - OT may well be able to get you a Major if he needs it for a little while - dd2 had to go in her 'baby' buggy for a bit between diagnosis and the OT appointment (just a couple of weeks) and she was pretty uncomfy as it was just too small for her. It also felt like it was going to fold up with her in it!!

No harm in asking what you should do about it as it must be hard getting going again for him. Hope it all gets better soon!

danthe4th Tue 18-Aug-09 11:55:17

Good on your dd I wish I had been there to have heard her. I can never think of anything quick enough. Hope she gets the all clear.

TheDMshouldbeRivened Tue 18-Aug-09 12:00:43

s'why I prefer a wheelchair. People are ignorant and rude.
lol at your dd shouting after them.

sooey76 Tue 18-Aug-09 13:42:05

Thanks- it was awful, he had his foot run over, the fixator looked horrible and people used to stare, he hated it. He has a follow up appointment in 4 weeks, but apparently most children come out of plaster and walk normally.I think it's due to either the weight of the fixator, I always thought the bottom pin was in his ankle, but it wasn't it was in the middle of his leg! or the 1st plaster that was put on in theatre. He really wanted blue plaster, but they only have white in theatre, was told if his dad got it from plaster room it would be put on-it was for some reason on TOP of the white plaster, so really bulky. Hopefully he'll be refered for physio at next appointment. Just that I'm taking kids to seaside for day on monday (all 5 of them inc 14 month old in pushchair)by train! Really worried- will we ever leave the station? Only day out I've tried this summer, was hoping ex would take them out-but he's more interested in his new gf and her kids.
I don't know haw parents with disabled children cope with the staring and the rude comments, I'd end up punching someone!

mummy247 Tue 18-Aug-09 15:43:08

I think that is shockin

my neice of 10 has the same thing i think her hhips are not right she has had 3 ops so far and the doc says its more coman in boys than girls

my neice is a star she puts up with so much and gets on with things she has a type of zimmer and a wheelchair which she reluctantly uses

but at the same time kids can be very cruel as well my neice was of school as she was gettin buliied for being in a wheel chair which is very sad she has to go to a technical consultaint next and then i think she has 2 more ops to go through x

ihope ur dd is doing ok xx

Scottie22 Mon 24-Aug-09 21:14:26

I'm dreading these comments - dd has low muscle tone and will need a pushchair for ages yet. She's only 2 but is huge for her age so we have had the odd stare already although I'm hoping that it's just cos she's soooo pretty!!!

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