Advice pls - 3.4 DS won't poo in the toilet!

[Butty69]

My DS is 3.4 and has been weeing in the toilet for a good few months now. It all started so well - he progressed from sit-down wee's to stand up wee's with ease, but still insists on pooing in a pull-up.

He knows exactly what to do (and what he should be doing) but insists on a pull-up. He knows when he needs to have a poo and then happily gets back in to his pants.

At nap times (when they rarely happen, these days) he is completely dry and is almost ready to be pull-up free at night.

He does have a go at having a poo on the toilet (at his own request) but just says that 'it won't come out'.

For now I am happily going along with his requests, but would appreciate some advice on how to help him progress.

Thanks!

[PrettyCandles]

Does he have a steady place to sit on the loo, where he feels secure and his feet do not dangle?

Have you tried lining a potty with a nappy and getting him to poo in that as a transition?

[CMOTdibbler]

How about sitting on the loo in his pull up ?

[terramum]

Humans were designed to poo squatting so it might just be that the position when he's on the toilet is the problem. Maybe try some steps or something under his feet to raise his legs a bit?

[Butty69]

Thanks for your speedy replies!

Yes, I do think that because he is holding himself on the toilet he can't 'let go' and so is too tense. He also has a step by the toilet, tho his legs are still too short to rest on it!

Have tried to get him to sit on the toilet and potty in his pull-up but that was a no-go - he insists that pull-up's are for doing poo's in!

Saying that, he does try (of his own accord) quite regularly and so I think that maybe it is only a matter of time.

Coincidentally, he seems to be going through a phase whereby he likes to play at being a baby (with direct reference to pooing in nappies)- maybe this is linked somehow? nb. DS is an only child but does go to CM with other children, both older and younger..

[rosiest]

I had this with DS1 and eventually took him to GP for advice. She said its v. common with boys and not to worry he would grow out of it - which he did (at nearly 5 - eek! I was pulling my hair out at this stage)

However your DS sounds like he is not as severe as mine because my DS wouldn't even go near the toilet - think he was afraid.

I don't think you should worry too much. just keep encouraging it and try all the technique's others have posted - they might work. I tried everything but in the end he only did it when he felt able to

[JustAswelliLikeLego]

DS 3.4 is the same and I have decided to just go with it. We do discuss it and he prefers it this way the now so I''m being a hippy about it as he is doing so well pee wise. He did manage a small one on his potty the other night but wanted pull up the next so we did that.

Recommendation is usually to get them to sit on toilet/potty in pull up and try to do it and then move on to no pull up. Good Luck

[Kammy]

I had this with ds too at about the same age. My very helpful health visitor told me that it is a common diffficulty, linked to the feeling in small children that when they are doing a poo, a bit of themselves comes way.

We tried to not make too much of a big deal about it, but did keep him in pants rather than give a nappy, explaining that he was a big boy. For a while he used to slope off into a corner and do a poo in his pants, which we just took up to the toilet together. I can't remember how long this went on, but not more than a few months, and he naturally started using the tiolet on his own.

Perhaps it's just a matter of time. Good luck!

[dinkystinky]

DS1 was like that - used to wait until night time in his nappy and then do enormous poos he'd been holding in. It drove me crazy.

Then one day before bedtime he was sitting on the potty in the bathroom to do a wee and I had to go answer the door and did a couple of things downstairs - when I went back 2 minutes later he'd done a poo in the potty and was v proud of himself. We made a big deal of how clever he was - gave him an extra bedtime story for doing a poo and promised him a lollipop (which he never normally gets) the next day. So the next day he was incentivised to poo again - this time on the loo (we have a seat with handles he grips on and puts his feet up on the seat to poo - works a treat). Now several months later he generally does a poo a day before bedtime but always has to be left alone to do the poo.

Oh yes, we also read him "Poo goes to Pooland" lots (kindly emailed to us by Swampfire) so he likes to say bye bye to Mr Poo as he goes down the loo

[Butty69]

Thanks so much for all your responses - I'm glad I'm not alone!

As it happens, DS very nearly did a poo on the toilet today at the childminders - all of his own accord (though he did, unfortunately, end up having an accident on the floor).

I know that he will do it of his own accord eventually, and it's probably just the latest development thing to worry about!

Thanks again, everyone.